My last thread

Discussion in 'General' started by rwilliams, Nov 11, 2006.

  1. I have to choose my friends wisely. in real life as well as the internet, i am too trusting with my feeling because i love my brothers. it is dangerous for me to keep on coming here. i used to view it as a family, and you guys still are, and you were a big part of my life and a big part of me finding god. but now that i have, no one takes me seriously anymore and it's just not the same. it's funny that i'm pissing everyone off, loving them at the same time, and i'm happy. i am an emotional person. i am crying right now (no joke) cause it's meaned so much to me, and now that my thoughts are different, i tried to make it mean a lot, but it means absolutely nothing. i will be praying for you all..... i am so sad right now, but so happy at the same time because i am moving on from my old selfish habbits. you have to understand that last night it was 4 in the morning, my close friends weren't answering the phone, and i got selfish and thought i needed someone to poor all this shit on. i didn't realize that people wern't accepting this. it makes me really sad. it breaks my heart that God is making me lose change so much, but so happy at the same time. but i used to think i had to please all of you. i really don't have to please 1 person except for God. I'm not saying I'm right, but Jesus pissed off a lot of people.... seriously i never cry, but i have to do this. i turn 18 in august. peace, and you guys still think i'm playing, and i don't care. maybe that's a sign i should stop cussing so people start taking me seriously. cause people think i'm using His name in vain (and i am, cause i'm still a rookie:eek: ) but it is really powerful. when i started making thread after thread after thread you guys have to realize that i completely took off every sensor that i used to have in my brain. and i'm cool with that. He loves all of you, He touched me in a big way, and this happened all of a sudden after years and years of being an atheist. a brief explanation why is that people saw that i didn't have god and were praying for me. i'm gonna try to cram as much as i can into this thread since it's the last thing people will be able to read by me. I was really disappointing God when I called women bitches and sluts. It was my way of trying to use slang so that people would take me seriously. it was fake, and that's not cool. another thought. people used to ignore me in school, and love me on this site, it's become the other way around. so spread the word, just because i messed up does not mean God did. I will make a bad name for myself but I will NOT make a bad name for God. I've already let people who who I feel is safe to contact me contact me, and that's that. if i come back in august, i will be a grown person, and i will do a better job in spreading his word. i can't stress enough, last night was a HUMAN MISTAKE. I don't need yall's forgiveness, though it would be nice. If God forgives me, that's what's important to me. So I'm gonna say a little prayer. and please don't be worried about me, please don't. understand that i'm not this real in real life, only to a few select friends, so you don't have to worry about me dangering myself in real life :) I am slowly starting to realize who it is safe to talk to God about. and it was dangerous for me to be real even on the internet because my blasphemy can turn away my brothers. my tears are dried, and I still feel really low right now, like I disappointed God so much. But if he forgives me, it's all good. one more thing, it is SO much easier to please people in real life than on the internet because in real life they have a grasp of who you are, and in real life they gonna see your actions and no you're not fake. it's impossible for me to convince you guys i'm not fake, because i simply can't prove it. and now that i think about it, even though i'm ashamed of myself, i have no regrets :) gc i will always remember the website as something that helped me be closer to God. but i can't use this site to become any closer. keep smoking weed, you can scoff at this, but God doesn't. He didn't put it on this earth for people to abuse, but at the same time, he didn't put it on this earth for no one to smoke. :smoking: stay cool, stay loved, stay stoned. no more of me making multiple posts in my own thread. i was trying to be like eyes but i came off as a jackass. peace.
     
  2. Wow...

    ...Is all I can say right now..

    Peace though, bro.
     
  3. It is often very hard to portray yourself articuletly over the internet, it is a whole different means of communication, and people will not always interpret things the way in which you intended them to.

    Everyone is entitled to their own views regarding God and religion, and it would appear you have formed your own, I sincerley hope you are happy with that decision.

    I hope to find happiness whatever you choose to do.
     
  4. wow, i am really glad ur happy now,becuz i remember b4 u were upset and all. also, good for u tht u've found ur beleives, thats an important part of life and u have accomplished that. GL and have fun with out the GC- u will be missed
     
  5. Wow bro...

    Unsure of what to really say.

    Keep on keepin on.
     
  6. Good luck man, what you're going through must seem pretty crazy at times...but you'll pull through a better person for it in the end.
    Take care of yourself, and do come back in august. Even if just to stop by and say hi.

    God bless, buddy.
     
  7. uh huh. shit, dude...so you're not 18, eh...cool. Gl with the god stuff...I don't think you're fake, just hard to understand the strings of random thoughts...like RMJL said when she shut your shit down ya know...it was a clutter of thoughts...you need to work on putting your thoughts together better...but I guess that's hard to do when one's emotional...gl on getting your shit together, you'll figure it all out :)
     
  8. Good luck man.

    I'll be waiting for august to roll around so I can read your posts again.
     
  9. how are you this emotional over a website dude?
    i think u been doing to much ricky williams following cause you startin to sound like him, just my opniion but u gottta CHILL homes
     
  10. wow this thread blows

    no homo dude
     

  11. Yeah man and you're 10 posts have been so influential. I think the only thing that

    blows on this thread is you, and maybe your mom :p

    Hey man,

    Don't let people get you down. This battle has just started. Alot of people are

    ignorant to the fact that Christians still do get persecuted on a daily basis. Granted

    in the US it may not be like the Holy Roman Empire persecution but persecution none

    the less.

    I'd be lieing to you if I said it'll get easier because it won't. The closer you walk with

    God the more Satan uses your weakness against you. Satan is all around you, waiting

    for the right moment or situation to strike. But the only great thing about Satan is

    that you can use him like a tool. He will always show you the areas in which you need

    most improvements because those weakness he will tempt daily. i.e. If someone

    says something that really pisses you off and you react, chances are you need

    improvements in the refrain and show love department. God is Love. May his

    light shine bright on your path.

    Agape-brother hood.

    Shouse
     
  12. I know you're a good guy man, I've replied to countless threads about you finding your faith, and staying secure in it.

    Like Shouse said above, anytime you become secure in your faith, Satan will always find ways to put you off tract, whether it'd be through people being douchebags, or any other way. Who gives a damn if they don't believe? Let them believe what they want to...everyone is entitled to their own beliefs...

    YOU just have to stay grounded, and keep your head up. Jesus was persecuted by many, they threw stones at him, spit at him, and beat him. *I'm not preaching to you, I'm just stating things that are on my mind.

    "Trust in the lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

    Marinate on that.
     
  13. shit

    dont really know what to say but... i'm glad you were able to be happy

    Peace.
     
  14. You and me got along right off the bat, rwilliams; you're a good guy with your heart in the right place. If anything, in this modern world you're compassion is refreshing.

    Too many people would rather abandon their base emotions for trendy labels and social status.

    I'm sorry to hear you're so conflicted, but that is the price we pay for allowing emotions to drive us.

    You and I have more in common than you'd probably think... I have the upmost respect for you rwilliams, because of your compassion, because of your conviction and constitution. I wish you luck with your endevors both in life and to find yourself personally and spiritually.

    Please return one of these days? We're loosing too many good members and I think you have alot to contribute to the cannabis community.

    You have alot of wisdom that is far beyond your years -- it just sounds as though you need to do some thinking and discovering. You will find that instances like this really contribute to define who you are.

    I hope your travels are safe and exciting!
    Rasta_Man
     
  15. i can't say much, but good luck man, you have my respect for sure.
     
  16. GL man... Wow alot of people are leaving lately :(
     
  17. RMLJ: I'm pretty sure he knew the implications of that.

    It works out though; he's leaving and if he does decide to come back -- he just has to wait until august.
     
  18. an' another underager bites the dust.

    heh. life. :rolleyes:
     


  19. Man I'm sorry but I have to TOTALLY disagree with you here. Christians get persecuted so much today because they openly persecute anyone who does not share a similiar belief as them(im not talking christians as a whole, just the militant ones) And when anyone throws words back at christianity everyone is up in arms. I'm so totally sick of having people knock on my door preaching the lords word. Yep you have your beliefs that is fine, I have mine, do not mock or condemn me because we share different opinions.

    I live by one rule, Do unto others as I would have them do unto me. I do not live by this rule because I am concerned of damnation by some all knowing diety. I do so because it my personal belief that everyone deserves the same amount of respect unless their actions show otherwise. Basically I do not verbally debase any religious person, unless they try to debase me, and in my life I have gotten more of that from christians than any other religions combined.

    Don't take this as an attack, its just that whole christianity persecution comment really stirred me up. Christians run the united states of america, so to say they are heavily persecuted is just off putting.

    I belive in what I see unless something proves otherwise I will continue to do so, and nothing in any religious script I have ever read has ever convinced me of anything, other than it was written by man not god himself. My family is very religious, I was baptised in a catholic church, but somehow I cannot swallow what they fed me. What happens after death is anybodies guess. Im not an athiest but the way I figure it no human on earth can tell me gods will, thus I will live my life the best way I can an hope that when I die, god sees that I at least tried to live by my own morals and principals and that I was a good man.

    Rant over! :p
     

  20. I approve this post.
     

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