If he was your best friend he would understand without getting butt hurt. I mean if you dont understand that your overdoing your stay and your not doing shit all about his situation, he needs to really mature some more idk if that made sense. but good luck thoo
heres what you say "look mother fucker...this is some bullshit dude...you come over every fucking day and use up all my shit then my parents bitch at ME for the price of the electric bill and phone bill on the shit that YOU'RE using...I've already given you more than enough time to find a job and use up all my shit...next time you come over you better have a quarter ounce of weed, some blunt sticks, and a fifth of vodka...now gtfo myspace so i can watch redtube..."
How bout' you just continue being his boy and havin his back? Sounds like he's in a tough situation and just needs some good ol' love. It might be tough for you, but everyone needs a good friend dawg, especially if he has no one else. You keep helping him, and he'll help you back. Best of luck. Oh but if it is getting excessive, you can tell him to tone it down.
I like this answer. But I am to kind. But I have an alter ego so I think I can show this side This is also true for me. I do understand I am just helping him and I shouldnt bitch. BUT I dont think I ever knew this guy when he wasnt down on his luck lol. I'll just have to have him tone it down. He lives in his car but he cant drive it. Because of tickets and expired registration along with a broken windshield. So he lives in it but cant use it.
Yea Filling out apps is always best in person.. It might be hard on you but hes ur boy, he knows u got his back when hes in the shit and it seems like he is. What i would do is just go on with your daily life, let him sit there and wisk away on his life, just dont do the same and dwell on this issue
1. do whats right for you 2. remeber karma suck it up if it gets on your nerves cuz u dont know when you might wake up to find yourself in a shitty situation but if it starts taking a toll on you let him know you need to have your house to yourself..
I totally understand where some of ya'll are coming from. I have a friend who has almost become dependent on me. We have gone job hunting together, as well as just kickin' it. Anyway He has no car, so I'm usually his ride around town, and Unfortunately everywhere in my town is so spread out and far away, not to mention the traffic and expensive gas prices. I've also bought things he needed as well as gifts to friends and his family from him(fortunately he's paying me back in increments). I've had to cut him loose( but not out of my life) by telling him that my GF and I will be spending time alone (which is usually true), and that I've been laying low( also true). I always have his back, he's my boy, but I cannot enable him forever, he needs to get on his own two feet eventually or I will end up broke. So to the OP, tell your boy that you will always be there for him,as well as sympathizing with him for his situation, but that you cannot continue to enable him, therefore he has to get on his own two feet.
Sound advice. Thank you. Glad to hear i'm not the only one with this problem And I feel ya about the gas part. Guess who pays for gas when HE needs to do something.
Fuuuuuck. You don't give up food but you let him sit there on the phone and myspace and all that bullshit. A friend will let him sit there and do all this shit, but a good friend would show this bum some tough fucking love and tell him to get his life on track. Yeah, your being a nice guy but your also enabling him to be a bum. Your actually not doing this guy any good at all by letting him chill at your place for free and shit.
When he comes over again make it clear that he is only there to look for a job. You don't want him fucking around on myspace because right now his social life should be on the back burner while he gets his life together. Let him know you love being his friend and you don't mind hanging, but your wife didn't kick you out and you need your space. It's selfish of him to think he can just come over and spend the whole day there. You have a life too. Remind him if he wants one he needs to get his ass in gear and work for it. The best way to remedy this situation is to be upfront. Hints won't work and even if he picks up on them he's not going to do anything unless you spell it out. So what if he gets upset? He's said time and time again that you're the only one helping him, so he's not going to cut someone so important out of his life and if he does then fuck him. He can find someone else to be his mommy. Also, if he does find a job and needs a ride to work, he is paying you gas money. That shit isn't free. Sure, it's wonderful to give a little to your friends, but when you seem to be all out supporting his ass, something's gotta give.
If you have a job..WORK more. Not only will you not be available to enable him..but youll stack some cash at the same time!! Also, just ignore his calls/knocks. Then if he insists that you explain why you werent available, say you took a nap. Or of course the classic, my parents dont want any one else over at the moment/ as much. I'd go with the "as much" cuz thatll make it sound like less of a at the moment thing and more of an all the time thing. ..if that makes sense.
if ya'll are as close as you say you are then you should let him stay there more...helping him out in the short run willbenefit your friend/friendship in the long run I know it sucks...but picture how it feels to be him right now
If you do everything short of wipe their ass it's not going to help anyone in the long run. It's just going to send him the message that he doesn't have to work for anything, he just has to enlist his friend's help when he's in need. Also, OP, don't lie or make excuses. Be honest. I went through a similar situation with my best friend. Her mother is a hardcore alcoholic and she used to spend every day and night at my house, which i didn't mind as long as she didn't forget the reason she started living with me. Her mom was too out of it some mornings to take her to school, so every morning at 7:15 she'd call and my mom would drive her to school. My parents pretty much viewed her as their daughter, so it was no trouble for them to help her, but for a while it seemed like she was losing focus and skipping out on school alot. I sat her down and told her she needed to be more involved in school and care more about her future than i did. She cried a little, thought i was sick of her, but i told her i just wanted her to want to graduate. After that she did wonderfully, her grades shot up and she seemed so much happier. She now lives back at home, her mother has cleaned her act up a little and it she graduated! It feels amazing to help someone and know that your part of their success.
Tell him as nicely as possible. He's going thro enough shit right now prob. Imagine if u ever needed somewhere to stay for awhile. Would u want him to let u stay with him? He's not being annoying on purpose, he's just having a hrd time with life right now, and he needs someone to help him out. Ur his friend u should know.