i found out my girlfriend is pregnant not even an hour ago. we are both 18. she found out because she had a heat stroke while traveling and her parents took her to the hospital, the doctor there told her she was pregnant and 4 weeks along (her parents don't know). Now while i have very mixed feelings about this: first I feel kinda happy (something i never would have expected) because I love this girl and it wouldnt be so bad to have a kid with her, my second thought is "wait no fuck im 18 and about to graduate this is gonna fuck my life up", third thought is "ohh shit her parents hate me and im not even supposed to be talking with her much less fucking her..." So what are your guys thoughts and suggestions? Anyone dealt with a similar situation? What do I say to her tomorrow when we sit down and try to figure this thing out? Should i encourage her to get an abortion? or tell her that its her choice and I will be there for her either way. I'm not running from this problem if she decides to keep it i will support her and happily raise a child with her. If she decides to abort it I will still love her and I will be there for her during that whole process. I know that for sure, I just want advice and input. Im really just looking for anything you have to say about it. PS this is a very serious matter please be respectful in this thread.
Nine months ago I broke up with my girlfriend. Eight and a half months ago she told me she was pregnant. Sunday she had the baby. Consider yourself lucky that there's still a chance at a family for your baby. You'll find yourself being unready every step of the way, but you learn how to cope with it. No one is ever really ready to be a parent.
You're 18, she's 18, who is anyone to say you two aren't allowed to be in a relationship. Do what your heart tells you. I can't give any advice other than that. I'm 20, and I've had a scare or two, and the only thing that was on my mind was, "Get rid of it." I realize now that was a good idea, since I'm not even with the girl anymore. But, if you feel differently, then it's really up to you two. Don't be scared. That's my only advice. Don't rush to a judgement or decision. There are a lot of parents on this forum that will tell you it's a wonderful thing, and I believe it is. But, as much as you love her, if a baby's life isn't going to be ideal since you two are so young, I won't suggest abortion, but rather I would say adoption is avenue to consider. Again, don't rush to any decision. Make sure whatever you do, it's right for you.
damn man, back in hs i was dumb and would just raw dog and pull out and one time had to go to the PP and get the day after pill or whatever lucky that shit worked or i dont know what the fuck would be happenin right now....good luck bro
Well basically her parents say if she's with me they arent going to send her to college or get her a car, or take care of her. So they gave her a choice: me or their support. We ended up deciding to keep our relationship just make sure nobody knows about it (not even our closest friends know we still talk). I know its fucking romeo and juliet shit, but its what happened to me. Thanks for the input it has made me feel a bit better. Please keep them coming.
If you don't want a baby or can't have a baby, then talk to her about getting an abortion. I don't know how two 18 year olds would be able to take care of a baby, unless you had a lot of help from both of your parents, and you both worked full time jobs. But I'm only 18 and I've never been in that situation before, so I don't know what your options are.
My only advice is do not pressure her into an abortion. You should definitely support her if she wants one, but I wouldn't even mention it if I were you.
man, this is probably the shittiest filling in the world, and i feel you. but in my experience, i learned it is a decision you must make on your own. you know the answer. i would love to speak of the joys of having a child, but the mother of mine miscarried. whatever you do. if you love her, and can support her and a child, then take the jump, and do what it takes to raise a family.
I've been reflecting on my life recently, man...and if you want her, just go for it. My girlfriend's parents I had for years pulled that same, minipulative, micro-management bull shit on her, too. But in the end ... pot ended us. She'd rather have me smoke cigarettes than bud, the logic behind that is?... If you love her, man. Just do it. In the end it will all be worth it. Like someone said above me, you won't have any idea what the hell you're doing, but it'll be a good time. You don't want to lose somebody you truly love. I wish you the best in the life, my man.
Well I think most importantly this is a joint desicion that the two of you need to make, i think you two just need to sit down and figure out what you both want, and what would be best for the baby. If you guys think you're capable of supporing and raising a child, then do it..and it could be one of the greatest things you ever do. I can only imagine everything that comes with bringing a new human into the world, it's got to be one of the most amazing feelings in the world. However If you guys don't think that you're capable of handling a new person, and responsibly raising that person and giving them everything they deserve emotionally and financially..then maybe you guys should look more closely at abortion. Another option is also adoption, if you have religious or moral reasons to be against abortion, then remember that there are plenty of couples out there desperate for children who are incapable of having babies and have a lot of love to give any child in their life. The most important thing for you guys to realise is you have options, and should discuss all of them. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck and I hope everyone in your life is as supportive as they possibly can be, but when it comes down to it, its up to you and your girlfriend, because it's your lifes that the desicion will be impacting the most.
I'm not here to knock anyone but I SERIOUSLY do not understand why people don't use condoms....ESPECIALLY if you have your whole life ahead of you..
Why is your "life" over? Explain that one to me. Do you really think its over or are you buying into someone else's theory of how life is supposed to be? Sounds to me like your life is just going in a different (and unexpected) direction.
My mom had a kid when she was 19, I know quite a few people who have had kids when they were 14-20, and they did a great job as a parent. And if you have this baby her parents can't stay mad forever, just make sure to be more careful so you don't have a second one any time soon lol good luck with everything
Don't mention an abortion to her, if she wants one she'll get it, don't put ideas in her head or try to push her to get one. If you guys didn't want to have a kid you should have practiced safer sex. But if she wants this baby you have to talk to her parents because they will be there for her, or you too if you decide to be with her. Families are families for a reason they're always there to help, and since she's still a kid, that's gunna be your best idea.
If you weren't ready to have a kid, why were you fucking her? -1 You're both 18, and still allow your parents to dictate who you can be with? You must live at home still. -2 You both are "parents" now, so you both should have input on what happens. Ultimately, it's her body and she will do with it as she pleases, even if that means losing your kid. ... Also, take note that her family (brothers/etc) is not going to like this in any way. If they find out that you swayed her to have an abortion, they're going to want to beat the shit out of you. If you convinced her to keep it, they're gonna beat the shit out of you. Either way you're pretty much fucked, but hey, that's the choice you made. One thing here... Since you're both 18, you don't have to worry about her parents making the final decision. But you can expect them to try and talk some sense into her. They are going to hound her about it... Since she will be pregnant and will be unable to do much work for a while, and then afterwards she will be busy with the kid, you are going to have to find a good job YESTERDAY. Get two jobs if you can, working 16 hours a day. On average, you'll be going on 7 hours of sleep per night. And FYI, you're not ready to be a parent unless you are always willing to stand your ground. You've got a lot of learning to do in the coming years. Good luck. Although not directly related to your post, you should know that you're not going to come into your own until your mid 20's. Your opinions, beliefs, interests, everything will be on the fence, ready to change until you reach that age. So you can say one thing now and find out later how wrong you were. Just do what you believe is right, at any given moment. That way when looking back on your past, you can rest assured that you did your best.
I seriously think they're too young. You cant think like an adult when you're 18. But I guess its different with different people. I wont get into such a thing at such a tender age.
I dont see why he shouldn't mention abortion to her.. this baby is going to affect his life just as much as it is going to affect hers, and the decision making should be done by the two of them...I dont think tip-toeing around the A word is the adult way to handle it. I must say I agree with you on the "dont push her to get one" bit..no one should be pressured into anything like that..but there is a huge difference between pushing someone into something and discussing something like adults.