My girlfriend doesnt like me vaping.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Jimmy Sangria, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. #1 Jimmy Sangria, Oct 31, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 31, 2014
    My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than three years. Currently, we are in a long distance relationship. I have been smoking on and off for the past four to five years, but started vaping a lot recently because I bought a pax. My girlfriend doesn't like that I have been vaping several times a week. A couple years ago, she did not seem opposed to it at all. I have smoked with her a couple times, but it makes her paranoid (she over thinks everything) even when we are in the safety of our own home. I thought she didn't want me to vape because she thought it was detrimental to my health, and I mentioned that at least vaping is safer than smoking, but she told me that's not why she doesn't like me doing it. She says she doesn't like the image it gives, and I told her that's why I'm not public (to other people) about it. Her main reason though is her older brother. He smoked a lot growing up and still smokes a lot. They have a very poor relationship (verbally abusive), and I think she believes that smoking did this to him. Nothing I can say will change her mind on how I am different than her brother and vaping will not change who I am. I told her that I do it because I enjoy it, and I like to chill out at night. We will be going to Amsterdam in a couple of months for a couple of days, and I told her I'd like to go to the coffee shops to smoke late at night when we aren't busy. She doesn't like that that's what I'm interested in doing. She has not given me an ultimatum yet, but this subject is really important to her. Because this is important to her, it is very important to me. What should I do? Is there a compromise that we could maybe make? Thanks in advance for any help.
    Note: I'm not trying to make her smoke/vape, I just want her to be okay with me doing it here and there.

  2. So yall are planning a trip to Amsterdam and she doesn't want to visit any coffee
    What kind of question is this? If weed is important to you, and it's important to her that you don't smoke/vape weed, then what the fuck?
    She's not the only girl in the world...find one that matches your lifestyle. 
    We are going to a couple of different countries in the area. We are stopping in Amsterdam for a lot of sight seeing, and I mentioned I would be interested. We have been dating for more than three years. I was looking for more of a compromise or eye opener than an ultimatum.
  4. More than three years?
    Man up. drop the vape and pick up a rock for her finger..
    I used to date a female in the same situation (her brother is a complete loser that happens to smoke
    weed every now and then so she blames weed for everything) and I even quit smoking for her
    sake and the sake of the relationship, which I regret because we weren't together very long, but
    if the situation were different, as in your case, I would have just stopped and made sure
    she knew how important she was to me, instead of obsessing over stoner hi-jinx  such as
    Amsterdam coffee shops. don't get left while on holiday..
    I appreciate your honesty.
  6. It truly is a decision to be made. Granted I am extremely analytic about social situations. You really do have three options that present themselves. 1. Stop smoking and make her happy. 2. Continue to smoke and stay with her. 3. Break up with her and continue to smoke. As I don't know exactly the strain that you smoking puts on your relationship, I can't weigh in on how viable option #2 really is. I just don't want you to think you are simply choosing between your girl and your weed. It's not that cut throat. There are a lot of variables that only YOU can weigh in on because only YOU truly know what they mean to you. You got a lot of thinking ahead of you, that's for sure. 
    why would you give him the same advice that you regret?
    you must have misread, because I said I regretted quitting for a female I was only with for a short time. SHORT time.
    OP said three years... so the advice works for OP situation and not my passed one.
  9. Get a new girlfriend
  10. I would just say if you think it's good for you and doesn't inhibit you in any way present/future..she's going to have to just get over it. I would sit down with her and explain that you are in fact just you...not her brother and it's not fair to compare you. If you are in a serious relationship and you could intact see yourself with her forever then you need to come to a solution together. That's what couples do. But if you just put up to make her shut up, then you guys say...break up... You could possibly have regret on not living your life and doing what makes you happy. Like visiting coffee shops.

  12. #12 SergeantMeowstein, Nov 1, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 1, 2014
    From my experience, that debate will wind up ending either one of these:
    Your relationship with cannabis or your relationship with her. 
    Unless there's a compromise that pleases both.
  13. Ended up showing her The Union:
    And I told her I would only do it on weekends.
    Everything worked out splendidly.
    Thank y'all for your help. :)
  14. Congrats, sounds like a good conclusion  :wave:
  15. Think about a hobby she really loves doing and say "baaabbeesss, I really want you to stop". See what she says to that!
  16.  Just lie to her and resume.  She wont know anyway, because you wont be smoking.
  17. Magical compromises don't exist, people have been looking for that one magical sentence that makes wives, husbands, parents, etc understand for years.

    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
  18. Why is it suddenly a problem now after 3 years?
  19. Sometimes smoke in the morning if my stomach hurts or causing issue but most time I prefer smoke after work specially day shifts when I'm out at 4

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