So, my girlfriend and I are tokers. In fact, she is the one that primarily introduced me to weed through one of her friends. We've been together for basically a year now, and I love her very much. I think one of the coolest things about her is that she is cool with me smoking weed and cigarettes especially because many girls/people here are very judgemental about it. Anyway, all of this is just background information to the real problem... My girlfriend likes to smoke weed, which is cool. However, in that lies in the problem...when she is high she can be extremely annoying. First of all, she literally talks nonstop. Normally she is a pretty talkative person, but when she is high its insane. Its almost as if she has to say all of the thoughts running in her head. In addition to this she talks fast, her voice raises really high, and half the things she is saying are random blabber that would honestly just be better off kept to herself. She also gets really selfish/wanty when she is high. I don't think she realizes thats she does it and she doesn't mean to, but she just kinda gets absorbed in her own wants and suggests them to the point where its basically shoving them down everyone's throats. "Can we listen to this?" We should do this. We should eat this. Do you have this? Lets do this! Seemingly, she can never just chill. Thirdly, she gets weirdly insecure about a lot of things and its obvious to everyone else what is going on even though she doesn't seem to realize that she is being outwardly insecure. And though she is a smart girl, when she is high she can do dumb things.. you can count on her on tipping the bong over or spilling the weed, messing something up you name it. She also has some annoying habits like torching the bowl. She is really active when high and aoves to do things like dance meanwhile most of us just want to sit and chill. I guess to top it off, none of my friends or I get like this. Most of us are really chill and calm and don't really like to talk or move too much. It has come to the point where I am starting to get embarassed for her and and I get embarassed being around her when she is high. I can see people getting annoyed by her and it makes me feel bad. I honestly do love her, and usually when we smoke together, just me and her, its a great experience. I mean the sex is amazing Its just when we are around friends these issues happen and become a concern. I don't know what to do about this.. I also don't want to make her feel insecure about getting high and most importantly I don't really want to hurt her feelings. I feel like telling her would ruin the experience for her, which I don't want to do. Has anyone else had a problem with their girlfriend toking? Is there anything I can do to perhaps make her realize these things without hurting her feelings? Am I jerk for even feeling this way? Should I just respect that this is how she gets?
I would say pick a calm, chill time for both of you, if possible, where it's just the two of you. Perhaps when she's not stoned, to lessen the motormouth effect. Tell her that sometimes, it's hard to relax and enjoy your high because she's talking so much and doing so much. Might be good to mention something like, "You know, because I'm a guy, and you've probably noticed that my buddies and I tend to chill, not talk very much, and not do much when we're stoned." That you understand she gets excited, but perhaps there's other people (like her girlfriends?) who would enjoy lots of talking, laughing, and living room dance parties. That, at least sometimes, it might be good for her to get her stoned-time needs met elsewhere. As an aside, we shouldn't expect our partners to meet EVERY SINGLE ONE of our needs, desires, and expectations. It's healthy and normal to get some needs met via other relationships. Like in my case: as a girl, I do love lots of talking, chainsmoking, and energetic living room dance parties with my friends when I'm stoned. But my husband ain't much of a talker (and he only smokes once in a blue moon), so what do I do? I get high with my girlfriends and faaaabulous gay male friends, and we have killer living room dance parties as a result. Everybody's happy--I get to be crazy with my friends, and my husband can play WoW in his underpants in a blissfully quiet home. I think it's important to say all of this stuff in a LOVING, concerned tone. Also, specifically tell her that you love and care about her (might be good to say this at the beginning), and you want to enjoy all the time you spend with her, no matter what you're doing. That sometimes, it's nice to chill and just be, enjoy the silence and the quiet spending of time with people you care about. You know, a little Zen in that way. So, it's 2 possibilities I'm suggesting: 1) she can try to blend in with "the group" a little more, and tone her shit down; and/or 2) she can get her energetic stoned time with her friends, who will LOVE her high energy. And a third possibility: Of course, if she annoys the shit out of you that much, maybe you should consider setting her free and finding a partner whose myriad of traits & habits don't annoy the shit outta you.
Hey dude, you did say the sex was amazing. Looks like your looking at the glass half empty. If she was 'chill' she probably wouldn't be as fun in bed. Just a thought.
I'd go with this and pull the gender card. Just be like "you know guys like spending there high differently and dont really like spontaneous dance parties in the den." Or say something like "why do all girls go nuts when they smoke." Embarrasses her just slightly enough to maybe shut that shit down but doesn't make her feel that bad cause she identifies with being a stoned female. And just kinda hint to her that it makes you're friends (not you!) uncomfortable. That or get her so high that all she wants to do is sit on the couch
Actually she kinda does. She has some kind of mental problems bordering depression and stuff, but you can't really tell. She is a theatre and creative type of person, and is usually very energetic and talkative anyway. Its actually quite interesting how weed affects her, because its so different from the way I get.