My friend asked my girlfriend out. wtf???

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Shazbuckle, Feb 6, 2010.

  1. #1 Shazbuckle, Feb 6, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2010
    Ok, so I've preety much been going out with this girl for two weeks now. My friend knew about it and stuff, but the girl texted me last night saying he asked her out.

    I was shocked.

    I've been friends with this dude for ages, why the fuck would he do such a sneaky thing behind my back... If he had at least told me he'd liked her we could have talked about it a bit. But he goes around my back and asks her anyway. He would have known I would have found out eventually, regardless whether she said yes or no (she said no, for the record)

    Anyway, i called him up, he lied, said he asked her as a group thing, 10 mins later I get a text and he spills it all. he did infact ask her out. Saying he dosen't deserve to be my friend etc.

    What do I do? If I stopped being his friend, his last year at school could be preety much ruined. We are in a solid group, and something like this will cause everyone to stop talking to him (some people already know the whole situation as well, but I told them to hold off kickin his head in untill I got the facts straight, which I have now)

    I need your help. I can't be friends with this dude anymore, but I don't wanna leave him friendless either. Help :(
     
  2. i guess it's too late for that, since other people in the group found out. the guy has to man up and face the consequences for pulling a dick move. if you can look past it as a stupid mistake, then he won't be friendless, because he has you to vouch for him.
     
  3. Listen man. I don't think you should kick your friend out of the group for several reasons. First and foremost, hes your longtime friend. And even if what he did was a bit immoral, at least he didn't forcibly advance on her. That'd be totally fucked and unforgivable. People always do stupid shit, and everyone deserves a second chance. And maybe he's just reallly into her and he was testing the waters or something. But i really don't think it was anything against you, just a stupid move. Also, if you've got a tight friend group, I don't think it'd be worth throwing out over some friend to friend girl disputes. Talk to him some more. It shouldn't be too difficult to reason around with him because hes in a bad situation. Also, sent some ground rules about shit like that. But remember, if you still want to be friends with him make sure you're not to out there. Bottom line its your call, but I think second chances are always in order
     
  4. a true friend wouldnt of done thht...end of story

    there are some things you cant forgive or forget about an to me that would be one of them....

    now if he would have talked to you about it before or somthing i might be able to forgive him but he didnt..

    and if your girl would have said yes to him then whht? he wouldnt be saying sorry he would be with her an ditch you most likely...

    if that all makes sense to you.
     

  5. This is preety much exactly where I'm comming from. I wished he would have talked to me, and yea, if she had said yes would he have gone through with it? If he had asked her, then to me, the answer to that is probably yes.

    Do I need that kind of person as a friend...?
     
  6. it's your choice, but you have to atleast sit down and talk to this guy and figure out what the fuck he thought he was doing, riiight?

    fuck this texting serious shit, people need to speak in person about shit on this level
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. I was on the phone to him, I won't be able to see him till Monday as i'm away. He lied to me on the phone, and texted me the truth 10 mins later. In that 10 mins I actually had to ask my gf for a third time was she completely sure it was a 1on1 request and not a group thing. She now thinks I don't trust her.

    edit: I can't wait till monday to sort this out.
     
  8. I vote for this guy. I'd like to add that if your friend can pull a girl like it's nothin then fuck em, but if he's all lonley and desperate then maybe he just got a little...idk...u kno what im sayin though
     
  9. I disagree with Soccerguy, ground rules dont need to be set, If this guy was your friend then he went out of his way to screw you. I agree a girl is not worth losing a good bro over, but your friend didnt feel that way. Im not saying to bash this kid or anything but Honestly thats the most disrespectful thing a friend could do. This guy isnt your real friend. you dont need to kick him out of your group, but I wouldent give him any form of friendship. Friendship is about respect and trust. I trust my friends unconditionally. You can be the better person in this situation, but your friend is still a douche bag
     
  10. it's up to you, I say ppl make mistake's maybe he was nervous when you confronted him on the phone so he decide to lie about it. plus it's a good thing you know how this person act's now. and maybe he wanted to get rejected by your girlfriend and not by you automatically being with her.
     
  11. I say you should leave the problem between you two. I think beating him up is a bit much (he's your lifelong friend after all -.-) but if it comes to someone getting his head kicked in I think you should at least give him the decency of not involving your friends, since they're really witnesses to the situation. Your friends get to get pissed at him later -.-
     
  12. was it a douche move? yeah. should you kick him outa the group? i don't think so.
    if it had been your long term GF then i would say yes, but you've only been dating her for 2 weeks man. how many years have you been good friends with this guy?
    i would be seriously pissed off if that happened to me, but i don't think i would completely end the friendship because of it.
     
  13. Are you willing to stop being friends with someone you've known for ages over a girl you've know for 2 weeks? Was it a douche move yeah definitely, but like someone else said maybe he's like this girl for awhile talk to him about the whole thing. I'd definitely say he owes you and your girl some smoke outs, not to mention you guys could work the awkwardness out during some sessions.
     
  14. I didn't read all of the replies, but I have been in your same exact situation, several times across multiple girlfriends.

    If your friend is willing to do that, it means he has zero respect for you. End of story. Like another said, no TRUE friend would do that to you.

    I have had good friends that have treated dime pieces like shit, that I wanted to get with. I would NEVER consider getting with a true friends girl, especially while they were still together. Period. Period, mutha fucka.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. LOL, this is jokes...it reminds me when I was young, like 14, and my and my buddy met these new chicks, and he started dating one of em...well she came over to my house once to watch a movie... ...lets leave it at that... LOL!!
     
  16. lol well its 1 choice or the other unfortunately. :(
     
  17. A friend wouldn't have done that to you. Plain and simple.

    Rather you're willing to put up with shit from him is up to you, but as long as you allow someone to disrespect you, they will continue to disrespect you.

    I'm not saying you should fight the guy or create a bunch of drama, I'm just saying that now you SHOULD know just where the two of you stand, because I'd bet that if she would've said yes he would've had no issue with dropping you for her. I'd keep him at a distance.
     
  18. If he is truly your friend, he'll drop to his knees and accept the slap of bitch.
     
  19. I’m also going through the same issue which has even caused me a lot in my relationship, cos my girlfriend does not even live close to me , she stays in same building with my friend but in different apartment, my friend came to visit his mum for the Muslim fasting and he is a kinda richer than me tho and has a car, he asked my girlfriend out and my girlfriend told me that he asked her out, could imagine that I was even texting with the friend of mine when my girlfriend told me that , I had to show my girlfriend a text that I just finished talk to my friend about some stuffs, I even went there days after to see my Babe, I saw my homey too , we went out to chill together and he acted like everything was fine , but i didn’t tell my Babe I chilled with him else she would be mad at me , it’s just so disheartening
     
  20. I wouldn't put too much thought into it. Your girlfriend probably didn't pay his proposal any attention at the time. And if your girlfriend loves and respects you she's not going to betray you by sleeping with your friend. But your friend clearly crossed a boundary and you need to call him out on it. As thirsty as he was he shouldn't have asked out your girlfriend, period.
     

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