My Experience With Subbing

I smoked pot in June and got a conditional job offer in August. It was my first time smoking. So I assumed that I was clean at the time of the drug test. I went in there, used my urine as a specimen. I wasn't worried about failing the drug test at all. A couple of days later I smoked weed to celebrate my new job. 
 
 
A week later, I was told that my urine was diluted. I had no intention of diluting my piss it just so happen that I was so paranoid before the drug test that I drank so much water. At that point I was panicking not knowing what the fuck to do. I had 24 hours to get my ass to the lab center to give them my specimen. My first instinct was synthetic urine. But it was impossible to buy some online and have it delivered to me within 24 hours. There was the possibility of going to my nearest head shop and buying in there, but I just thought there was something risky about using synthetic urine. I know that probably 90% of synthetic urine are successful, but I didn't want to risk it. So I resorted to using my brother's piss. 
 
That night, I practiced, practiced, practice. Rushed to Walgreens to buy me some unlubricated condoms, a digital thermometer, and some heat packs.  This is what I did on the actual test day. 
 
My drug test was at 12:00am
At 8.30 I asked my brother to pee in a cup. 
Put the pee in the fridge till about 11:20
At 11:20 I heated the pee using a microwave till it reached 105 degrees. (I know not the most sanitary thing, you dip it in coffee if you want).
Immediately, I put 2 oz of pee in a clean, unlubed, unpowdered condom (make sure to rinse the condom to get the powder out).
I put the condom in my scrotum (the area between the bottom of your balls and your a-hole)
Wore two very very tight underwear.
Left the house at about 11:40
Got there at 11:50
 
After I checked in the lady was taking her sweet time setting up and I started getting nervous that the temperature would drop or rise (there was AC in the room).
 
So finally about 12:10 she called me into the room, made me empty my pockets and sent me straight to the bathroom.  
 
I had two minutes to get everything done. Immediately, I took out the condom, poked it with a barbecue stick and poured it into the cup. Stuck the condom back in my underwear and gave the cup to her. 
 
I signed a few paperwork and watched her check "Specimen is between 90-100 degrees". I was SOOO relieved. 
 
Most people think that you need to use a heat pad, but your body temperature will do the trick if you use a condom. Just hide it in your scrotum and it'll stay warm for a very long time. I tested this method out numerous time and they all were within body temperature.
 
My biggest worry was that they would find out the my first specimen was not a match with my second one. Well here is proof that they will not check if they are the same piss! Well, at least my lab didn't. Microwaving and freezing the piss didn't affect the results either. 
 
For anyone thinking about subbing, I HIGHLY recommend using someone else's urine. It's the safest way to go IMO.
I got the job and everything went smoothly! Thanks grasscity!

 

 
That's cool. What's your point?

 

 
suck my ass