My dad can talk to god; but not me. wut?

Discussion in 'Religion, Beliefs and Spirituality' started by BreatheUp, Apr 28, 2011.

  1. someone make sense of this because this is hows its been my entire life.
    super, almost insane, religious/faith belief system to the point where youre no longer seeing reality or on this planet....

    we dont have the best relationship and separation makes thing difficult. he wasnt around for most of my really key years (7-18).
    its whatever. but i figured id go have dinner with him for the first time in about 3 years. talk, eat, shoot the shit, catch up, whatever you know? he wasnt around for my adolescence but im college age now... figured he could give me some advice/wisdom/encouragement or whatever it is that fathers do; cant say that i know honestly. at the very least just be a friend type person to talk with.

    i got nothing out of him. he wasnt interested in anything about me or what ive been doing or how ive been, nothing. the only thing he told me was that i should 'talk to god more'
    hes always been religious and i got nothing against that at all but i was just dumbfounded. 'talk to god'?
    i dont want to talk to god, i want to talk with my fuckin father.
     
  2. Everytime you talk to god you talk to your father as well as yourself.

    Your thoughts are spoken to the universe
     
  3. Thats fucking harsh man. I didnt have a great relationship with my dad either (more interested in hanging out with his friends than me, barely spoke to me as a kid unless he was bitching about something i'd done wrong, drunk on his ass most of the time.), but when i hit about 22 and he realized that i hadn't spoken to him in 6 years, something inside him woke up. Several fishing trips, toke sessions, and bar hops later, and now we get along great.

    It took me really coming down on him, and telling him "hey, you basically fucking ignored me as a kid, and i practically had to raise myself" for him to break down and apologize for it. He then told me that his dad never spent any time with him either, and was even harder on him (abusive), so he had no idea how to be a father and figured so long as i was raised at least a little better than he was, that i'd have a better start.

    My best advice to you is this:

    1) If you ever have kids, break the cycle. get down on the floor with them for an hour a day and play. Build a house out of blocks, pick up stuffed animals and make funny noises, tickle the shit out of them. Trust me, they'll love you for it.

    2) Call him and tell him exactly what you just posted. That all you want out of him is some advice and to feel like he gives a damn about whats going on in your life, or that your even alive at all.

    One of my friends dad is incredibly jealous of him, and acts the way you've descibed. He cant stand the fact that his son is going to colledge and has in his mind has surpassed him. He makes shitty comments like, "you think your the big man now", does nothing to encourage him in anything and all my friend can do is look unhappy. He loves his dad and wants the same thing everyone wants out of a father, respect, guidance, and love.

    And when you say you dont know what fathers do, nah you do. you posted it. Advice/wisdom/encouragment. the only thing you left out is love.
     
  4. i told him at the end of dinner what was up. and ive been telling him my whole life. i know what fathers are supposed to so because i dont really have one, but know what i need/want.
    stupid thread, i was just pissed how the night went down.
    also, having daddy issues is not the best way to encourage your offspring to give you grandkids. farthest thing on my mind.

    and the the first guy in this thread. fuck off. no offense and sorry for the language but that is exactly what im talking about.
     
  5. It's not a stupid thread man. If you let shit build up in you all it does is rot and fester, it helps to let shit out. It sounds like he either doesnt have a clue how to be supportive of someone, or only cares about himself. Maybe telling you to talk to god is all he really knows to say, but its really bullshit that he doesnt ask questions about your life, theres no excuse for that.

    Just know that its definitely a him problem and not a you problem. You know what hes supposed to be doing, he obviously doesn't, and you may never get what you need out of him. But you shouldn't give up on him totally. One day,like my dad did, he may realize what he's done and ask for your forgiveness, at that point you can either make him feel like dogshit by telling him it's too late and to fuck off, or you can try to build something out of it. Whichever gives you closure.

    And as for the first post....yeah i'm not a big fan of throwing my problems to the sky and hoping they work themselves out, i'd rather take an active approach and seek council or fix it myself.
     

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