My brothers life is fucked, and i need advice

Note sorry for the long post, but this is a big problem… condensed below for people who are lazy.

So there are some strange things happening in my life lately and I could use some advice. I’m 22 and I have a brother who is 25. My brother is currently on probation for MJ related possession charges, and he really got nailed by the prosecution. (1 ½ years of probation). So needless to say, my brother who was the biggest stoner I’ve ever known has to keep it clean. Now I smoke myself, so I think the charge is ridiculous but that’s not the point, the point is that he’s in the eye of the police and has to watch what he does for a while.

Now my brother used to be in the military, and he spent a good 2 years in Iraq (he was part of the outfit that caught saddam) so when he came back he just wasn’t the same person anymore. But he joined the military on his own. He was basically shit on by every chick that he’s ever been with, they cheat on him and use him etc. His image of self worth is completely shattered… I mean he’s always getting into trouble not because he isn’t intelligent but because he just doesn’t care about himself enough to keep him out of trouble. I think he needs professional psychological help, but every time I bring it up to him he scoffs at the idea and basically says that he can’t afford it. I can’t afford it either I’m a poor college student.

Anyway, over the last year he met a woman who I approved of for the time being because she was smart and seemed to be different than all the others. Turns out that this girl is a complete substance dependent individual. She smokes weed which I don’t care about, but she’s also into cocain, and drinks excessively. She has problems with blacking out when she drinks, she’s obviously an alcholic. I understand their relationship on a surface level, they both seem to have had a lot of bad shit happen to them over and over again throughout their lives. And a lot of the time, tho not all, it really isn’t their fault. But my brother is completely in love with this girl. Now here’s where things go down hill..Not to mention he got a ticket over the summer for driving without a license (which he received in conjunction with the probation). He can’t hold down a job to save his life and he really needs to because he has a son which I know he loves and cares about. But I’m afraid my brother is going to get arrested and spend time in jail.

This scares the shit out of me because of all the shit he’s been through in his life I don’t know if jail would ruin him forever, or straighten him out. I mean he works at IHOP, which is fine cuz its better than no job but he can’t keep working there the rest of his life if he wants a shot at getting custody of his son back. He’s making all the wrong decisions, but he won’t tell me whats going on in his life. See I’m one of the few people in my brothers world that really really cares about him, and I think he’s afraid to tell me because I would stop loving him or that I would turn my back on him. But he’s doing me a disservice by not trusting me. I don’t know what to do. I wonder sometimes if he and his girlfriend are right for eachother because they do seem to love one another quite a bit, but they have such deep seated problems. I mean its so hard to get shit together when you have a drug conviction on your record too, and who wants to hire someone who has a record these days? Its hard enough to find a job regardless.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I keep thinking to myself that he could get a psychiatrist and get some medication, and maybe with that he could have a change of mind and start to process to getting his life together…but I don’t know if he would even go. And how in the world would he pay for it? I think maybe he can get some veteran’s benefits but I don’t know anything about the military or where to start. I think he has to be the one to pursue it. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel if I confront him he will turn away from me and I won’t be able to do anything while I watch him spiral away. I realize this is a strange story, and some of you immature readers will say (oh what a fag etc), well for those of you who think that, fuck off and go fuck yourself ignorant motherfucker. But for those of you who aren’t children, please give me your take on things. What would you do? Can I even do anything? Or am I in one of those situations where I’m cursed to watching his downfall… Sorry for the long post.


Short: My veteran brother is on probation and has a problem with various drugs and a series of toxic relationships, one of which he's currently in. Since he’s on probation his prospects for improving his life seem limited. I can’t talk to him, I have no idea what to do. Major problem. Maybe I can get him veteran benefits for seeing a psychotherapist and getting some pills… fml

 

I don't know what to think about this anymore... It doesn't matter, I'm never going to get to tell him. sorry to be a buzzkill, but we should probably just let this thread die, its just gonna depress me. Just go here if you happen to read this it will explain everything ---> http://forum.grasscity.com/real-life-stories/519844-my-brother-dead.html