My boyfriend won’t share his weed - normal?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Deleted member 1096980, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. I have agoraphobia so I work from home now 1 day a week. Im a technical writer, so, writing white papers, case studies, articles etc. about new and emerging technology in a lot of detail. Before when I was doing it full time I was lucky enough to be very comfortable, guess that’s why I’m finding the change to being broke so hard!
     
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  2. Yep, south east man!
     
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  3. You should just claim benefits you'll get more money then you make working :laughing::laughing: + if you have mental health issues you'll get more money :confused_2:
     
  4. I feel like other people need the money more though. I know it’s a pretty small ting problem to have, not being able to afford the weed I want, I’d feel deep taking money for a hobby x
     

  5. If you've had a job before & paid tax/NI you're entitled to it.. you can still work while on benefits but they'll take whatever you earn off your total...

    You'll get like over £300 for free a month.. + you'll probably get more then that because of housing benefits ect

    It takes like a half hour if that to fill out the application + you can do it online lol
     
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  6. No weed no sex! you should put yourself 1st find someone who cares bout ya.
     
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  7. No point depriving myself of another thing I enjoy!!
     
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  8. Good luck, op. How long has it been since your hours were cut? Are you actively looking for work?
     
  9. Thank you, appreciate that! It’s been a few months now, at first it was a nice break but now I feel like I’m becoming a drain on those around me. I’m looking to expand my client base for at home working once my meds even out but until I can sort out my agoraphobia I’m not looking for any work like I was doing before
     
  10. Why don't you also try selling/buying stuff online.. I've been buying stuff from other people online then flipping whatever I buy (usually video games lol).. you'll be surprised what stuff you'll find people selling locally

    I picked up a game the other month for £3 then flipped it for £12 :ey:
     
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  11. Hi, thanks so much for replying. What aspect should I be showing discipline to?
     
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  12. Ohhhh isit? I’ll definitely have a look into that, Depop seems good? X
     
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  13. Depop?? Idk what that is :laughing: I usually use websites like gumtree eBay social media ect then sell the stuff on to a shop called CEX because you can check online what the stuffs worth before selling it then
     
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  14. I personally dont expect anything but I would would like to think the person I am in a serious relationship with(renting house together) would be reasonable enough to see that you are taking the extra step to take care of all/most of household chores. I think it is plenty fair to ask for and recive a little weed. Since you are only able to afford a very small amount compared to normal you aren't balling anymore so you are going to have to use a bowl it saves alot of weed compared to zoots.
     
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  15. First mistake, coming to a weed forum about your relationship. You want to better your relationship, you talk to most important person, your boyfriend. Tell him your thoughts & get reciprocation.

    First aspect of discipline, you're not building a relationship with us, only two people matter, you and him. Figure that out.

    Second, you're clearly not able to stick to a budget. To me that sounds like you are abusing marijuana. It can be hard to admit we abuse anything, let alone marijuana. If cash is such an issue, time to be an adult and create a budget. Be harsh. Learn & grow.

    my .02, out.
     
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  16. ...then why can't I find someone like you

    Keeping my Cake just for me ............................................and getting yours too ...lol

    good luck
     
  17. I'd suggest that your heavy Marijuana intake is only going to exacerbate your anxiety and mental health issues. Most heavy pot smokers have, almost with out exception, some pretty notable neurosis. That's the picture your post paints for me, anyway.
     
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  18. #38 CheebaWeeba, Jul 17, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
    I'm just going to answer based on the first post, so if anyone's covered any of this stuff already, sorry.

    Ok...so you were using, yourself, more than a half ounce every week?
    I'm sure you've probably been told this numerous times, but cannabis use, especially heavy (while yours isn't the heaviest I've encountered, it's definitely "heavy") can exacerbate and/or doesn't react well with mental illness. I actually scanned over a couple of other things you'd said. Agoraphobia. That is one I've seen get WAY worse with frequent cannabis use - because you end up feeling ill at ease even when you're in your safe space/comfort zone, unless you're high - because that becomes part of your safe space.

    Here's the thing though...if you just got shit-canned on account of your mental health playing up...this is something that you can keep at least *more* in check via your own behaviour and patterns...was it that because you couldn't be stoned all day as you say is the usual routine, your condition starts acting up?
    I'm not saying that's the case, but if it was (and only you will actually know this) then it should be a pretty big indicator of something you need to work on.

    Anyways, I doubt I'm touching on any new ground here...you make your own decisions but my take is that you probably need to cut down, so while it's probably something of a change to your lifestyle and it's one that's hard to go through...it's probably for the best.

    Honest question time - Was it really both of you that smoke "all day every day" or just you?
    Because I'm not sure how he would manage that if he's working.
    Is there an inbalance?
    I mean again this is a thing only you will know, and often people aren't great at self assessment.
    I just want to make sure that you consider all angles here - are you sure that maybe he doesn't think that you really need to cut down?

    Onto the main issue you've wanted to bring up...the sharing thing.
    You're talking matching? Equal shares?
    Or is it he has enough and then you want more? (gotta be honest with where you're at)

    I mean it seems like he still shares some, and I don't know if you're exaggerating the small amount he gives you, or if you see it a different way, or if he's actually being a greedy twat.

    Personally, if I had a partner (well, I do, I'm married...) I'd want things to be somewhat equal...from my end. In that I can't see leaving my partner there not getting high while I'm blazing up - in fact I'd consider this kind of rude in *any* company really.
    The difference between you and *any* company though is that you share a place, you're there every day together - and again, only one you can answer - are you sure that you're not basically doubling (or more) his purchase just so you can get more stoned?
    Like hooking a friend or two up with a bowl is all fine, right...but literally just bleeding your supply out every day can be taxing - it can have someone thinking, fucking hell...I paid for all this...

    I'm sorry if any of this seems accusatory...it's just that I'm trying to answer this from what his potential perspective could be, and opening up the floor to possibilities that maybe you hadn't considered.

    If you say you take care of all the household stuff while he works, then hey, that's an arrangement and relationship dynamic that comes into play with a lot of couples.
    But - Are you actually doing as much as you say you are...is there stuff you don't do that you know you should? Is your "day of work" like half hour of tinkering and tidying and kind of just sitting around the rest of the day?

    If you're paying half the rent and half the bills and using your time productively for the good of the household you both share, and he's working, then those two things balance each other out somewhat. Though a lot of people see dollars as dollars, tasks as tasks, and it's not in their mindset to convert the value.
    Is he the guy that just says "I earn more, so I bring more to this relationship"?
    Or is he a guy that feels like he's being bled dry because he does consider it fair and equal and you want to bend the ratio a little more towards you stuff.

    If he doesn't see the value in what you do, or on the other hand if you massively overstate what you're bringing to the table, then you're going to have issues.
    Be honest.
    Talk to him directly about it. While not stoned.

    I mean this should clear it up - if you're wanting some kind of weed allowance/matching situation...ask him what he thinks is fair to make that happen.
    Tell him you're concerned and you feel like he's holding out and you're bored there and it sucks watching a person get stoned while you don't - ask if there's anything you can do.

    Look, I know a lot of people have said relationship = sharing, but I'll be that guy...if you're not putting in your fair share, or if they don't think you are, then it's something that's not about to resolve itself.
    Personally I wouldn't just dish out all my weed if my partner was being a layabout stoner and I came home to the same old shit, like "lets get stoned" with a huge pile of dishes and bags of garbage about the place...I'd say she needed to cut down until at least enough initiative was had to keep the place tidy and take care of the "home" stuff.
    That said, if my partner WAS putting in work to be a valuable part of the team called partnership...then I can see no reason not to share. Equally.

    I get what you've said, but I can't ignore what I know about stoners from personal experience.

    So. Be honest. Talk. Find out what you need to work on. Find out what his perception is. Don't fly off the handle when he's speaking his mind and hopefully he'll do the same for you. Work it out.
    Only after everything being aired out will you have an idea of if he's just being a skinflint cunt, or you're having unreasonable expectations.

    Good luck with it...but yeah it does seem like you two have things to discuss that might have gone unsaid at this stage.
     
  19. He sounds a bit selfish and petty.
     
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  20. Well, he sounds like a tool in my book. Not 1 girlfriend or my wife has ever had to by weed since I was 16. In fact they've never even had to roll a joint when with me.. But most people in this world are selfish and only give 2 shits about themselves.
     
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