My Amazing (to me anyway) Drug Test Story

I want to share my drug screen success story because a few weeks ago I was frantically searching for resources about drug screens online. everywhere I turned i found bad, bad news. I had been offered a (somewhat) lucrative corporate position and of course it required a drug screen.

a little background: i have been a daily smoker for 5 years. during that time my greatest span of abstinence was 10 days when i vacationed with my family in germany (everyone thought be be easy to get weed in germany, but no). that was like 3 years ago. my estimation is that during the last 5 years, the culmutive time of abstainance totals about 50 days.

as of the recent months, i've been smoking less and less, not sure exactly why. even when i didn't know of the job or screen, there was an unconcious reduction my usage. in the past, i would smoke an eighth to my face every 8-11 days. as of lately, it has tapered off to as little as a gram every 6 to 8 days. i still smoke daily, just in small doses.


the timeline
tuesday: i had my successful interview. the recruiter warned me casually of the screen. initially i was not to worried, but it really stuck in my mind.

in a celebratory mood, i returned home from my interview with an oily sub and jalapeno poppers. foolhardy, i celebrated further with my last bit of weed. then, high, i began to research the timeframe pot leaves your system on several different websites. to my horror, everywhere it said things like 30 to 45 day, 15 to 20 day, the most generous was 7-15 days. TWEAK!

wednesday: while filling out the new hire paperwork i read on the company's website that you needed to complete the drug screen within 48 hours of recieving the packet. i had no idea when i was going to recieve it. TWEAK TWEAK!

i knew i needed to burn the thc out of my body as fast as possible. i should be as fast as possible! i decided to start running. i am a moderate cigerette smoker; this was a difficult, unsavory task. i was highly motivated.

thursday: after a few days of not smoking pot and cutting back on cigs, i was able to run harder for longer. get sweatier, burn away at the small amounts of fat i had left. it actually felt ok, not good, ok. i pushed through the pain in my lungs, legs, and feet; my goal was to sweat a lot and burn fat. thc get out of me!

i understand this is not an option for everyone. i am naturally skinny, i have low body fat, i can eat whatever i want, blah blah blah. this, along with my tapered drug use, my freak metabolism, my decent athletism, the amount of water i drink per day (6-8 glasses for real) and yogi detox tea (i know i said i wouldn't sell drinks, sorry lol) i was able to clean the years of heavy use out of my system in just 4 days!

a little about yogi detox tea: it is an affordable, convenience option that i think might have helped me a little. it claims to aid in the cleansing of the kidney and the liver, two organs that store a lot of thc. i would drink 3 cups of this tea a day, sometimes seeping in 2 bags. tis reasonably delicious as well.

friday: still no packet, i am in the clear for a while.

saturday i recieved the packet shipped overnight (the shipping must have been pricey!) it would be impossible for me to have the screening until monday because the facilities are close sundays.

even though i had weekend to detox, i was preoccupied with fears about the screening. after work, i embarked on the largest, most intense run of my life. i estimate about 7 miles, which is huge for me. absolute unhearof. that is what i call perserverence. man i was sweaty!

earlier i had purchased an at home drug test and was going to use it a few hours after my run. if i failed, i would have to think of something fast.

according to most sources, exercising increases the amount of thc you release in your urine, thus you are more likely to test positive after exercising. lucky for me, my at home drug test displayed the most beautiful two lines (that means negative) i've ever seen. unbelieve. i was very impressed with myself indeed. only 4 days.

sunday: was a lazy ass for the most part.

monday: i went in for my screening. i was set to start the job exactly 2 weeks from the date, that is, if the screen went through okay.

i never got a call with the results.

today, 2 weeks later was my first day at my new job, and it was the first day i was positive i passed.

i doubted myself because of what i read during my google research, i found most sites with drug screen resources are trying to sell a quick-fix rememdies and aim to frighten into you buying. they cleverly preying upon stoner's fears and paranoia by offering crazy, overblown statastics. it's a sick game. booo.

despite the manipulation, i worked really, really, hard despite my overpowering feeling of defeat. who knows if i would have passed if i didn't change my lifestyle. my message is if you have a test, don't give up. a little bit of time and effort and diuretics can can do a lot to help the situation. i really should go to sleep soon. i have to be up early.


chanktina