cause i just cant seem to die. No matter how much tweak, heroin, oxy, coke, alcohol, or any other drug i take, i cant never seem to let life pass. Cant say I have willpower of any sort, being that I'm a helplessly self-destructive addict, so i know that aint the reason/ i want to staret over, but cant think of life without drugs. I've got nothing left, a couple friends but even then i cant be happy. I cant remember when I was last ttruely happyu. Bordom and depression basically run my life, i cant be happy, i cant be content. I have a job, but no money because off my expensivee habits. Shit im 160mg of oxy and a half botle of whiskydown and lvinh still. hows anyonee deal with this shit. I wanna kill life. I cant imagine how bad my mom or sister or even my dad might feel when im gone though,. IM bieng selfish, but i just cant keep up. I tried rehab, nothing but religeious deep throating and "willpower" Ive got no hobbys, no money, no car, no place to call my own. to top it off, listening to my music, and knoiwing the new world order is well on itd way of reaching it's official begginging doesnt seem to help much. no future no matter what. anyone as bored with life as I am. anyoine as fucked up as i am//
I've been there man, maybe not as bad as you, but I picked my name for a reason. I've kicked everything but weed and psychedelics out of my life and it's been going great. It's hell on earth for the first two weeks (especially with no hobbies to fall back on) but I strongly suggest you do the same. Physically addicting drugs can destroy your life so fucking quick, but you'd be amazed at how fast it can be revived once you're off them.
The thing that helps me when I am depressed, is to just accept and apriciate everything that is and to start focusing on the now instead of your thoughts, because your mind/ego will always find something to be sad about.
yes, I used to be that is. never got to herion but thats probably because i didnt have a hookup. I used to grab anything I can get my hands on and pop it, smoke it, snort it, hot rail it, never shot anything up proudly But my advice to you is stop and look around one sober morning(hopefully when your out of drugs) and think real hard if you want to continue on the path your going. I'm nobody to guide anyone in there life but you asked my opinion and i gave it. p.s. from someone whos seen both worlds, the suns brighter from over here
Get a hobby that takes up a lot of time and then just smoke weed and do acid and shrooms on occasion. I don't do hard shit but I can imagine it's hard as hell to quit once your hooked. Good luck man hope your life gets better
i used to do tweak day in day out, spent all of my money on drugs and alcohol. literally. I even sold drugs and did most of them and didnt make too much money selling it thankfully i had a job. I'm the type of person who lives the high life. but its alot safer doing it with blunts and (sparingly) 40oz
I'm sure I'm as sick with life as you are now too, I just haven't got as many drugs.. = P I know it's a cliche Rich but you're my age...you've got it all ahead of you --> I do believe that. You've just gotta figure out how to keep yourself happy and interested in life, whatever does it for you. I don't know really where you're at right now so I can't say exactly what would help but I do think you need to keep yourself grounded and really try and save money - aim for a certain amount and then use it to travel - or buy a car - something to interest you. Keep communicating anyway, don't ever think this kind of shit ^^^ and not tell anyone, talk it out with someone if you can. It only looks this helpless now, your perspective will change. EDIT: also this is some very good advice , QFT..
SNT, that sucks to hear man..I hope that these good vibes I will send you will help you keep your zest for life and I know what you mean about the new world order being shuffled into the foreground..its scary, watching and seeing all the signs..you and i need to get our guns together so we can fight them off eh?
hmm...life can be a bitch for the way we chose to live. but hey there's ups and down. dont worry about it. things will b going up soon. ^^ lifes a garden, dig it
im guessing you sell drugs and dont work. well, get a job it will take your mind off of things. and youll probably be high less often and more coherant
you and i would get along pretty well. im pretty fed up with everything at the moment and tried my damnest with pills + alcohol, but it only seems to put me in an abnoxiously long sleep.
hey just hang in there man. and i feel ya on the bored of life thing i think i need to travel. things here HAVE been getting a little better though