Mum thinks I use a dildo! Help!

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Tumblweed, May 11, 2011.

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  1. #41 VikingToker, May 12, 2011


    [​IMG]

    broe

    im too baked to laugh at that

    your poor mother, you better think of some intelligent, technological sci fi bullshit excuse to convince her that you're still her innocent little boy
     
  2. #42 Deleted member 133001, May 12, 2011
    Next time you pack a cucumber for lunch, don't eat it, when you get home, stand in front of your mother, grab the cucumber out of the bag/lunchbox, say nothing, and go to your room.

    Bricks will be shat.
     
  3. #43 Walter Cronkite, May 12, 2011
    Tell her the truth and maybe she will offer to help. Moms give the best hand jobs.
     
  4. #44 schultzy225, May 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2011
    [​IMG]
     
  5. #45 Euca, May 12, 2011
    So here's what you do after you take the cucumber to your room. Hook up your laptop to your stereo and play a few of these.

    The Female Orgasm Board
     
  6. #46 Creepy Stalker, May 12, 2011
    I've called Fleshlites dildo's too, it seems more than appropriate, really.
     
  7. #47 LauraJadeth, May 12, 2011
    The thing is, if she saw and read the instruction manual she would know that it doesn't go up your ass.

    So don't worry.

    She knows you're fucking a plastic vagina.

    And she is ashamed.
    :laughing:

    Seriously though, think about it. She knows.
     
  8. #48 detailed one, May 13, 2011
    Fuck yeah Slayer kicks ass.

    Op: Wanna borrow my rubber doll it will be at least a better alternative...

    Lol just kidding I never had any toy...I got a girlfriend.
     
  9. #49 bobo3357, May 13, 2011
    what difference would it make? its still a dildo.
     
  10. #50 Rotties4Ever, May 13, 2011
    :hello: :hello: :hello: :hello: :hello: WIN
     
  11. #51 Dopenologist, May 13, 2011
    Fleshlight Care and Use Instructions
     
  12. #52 thawizahd, May 13, 2011
    I don't see how a man CAVE can be upstairs.
     
  13. #53 ReDfroSt, May 13, 2011
    OP loses regardless of what he does aka keep quiet she thinks you like dildos in your ass or tell her its a fake vagina that you fuck make your choice
     
  14. #54 justcallmesir, May 13, 2011
    yea i think its better to admit to fuking fake pu$$ys rather than let her think ur gay.

    besides ur mom was young too once...im sure she'll understand...
     
  15. #55 Floyd Pepper, May 13, 2011
    Where are those pics?

    op FTL
     
  16. #56 ihugtrees, May 13, 2011
    straight up. you talking to her about it is better.
    those instructions kinda do make it look like a dick

    you need to just tell her
    tell her you just want to be able to be good in bed when you get a girlfriend.
     
  17. #57 Ayron, May 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    Someone buying a rubber vagina has obviously never used s real vagina before so....
     
  18. #58 ICGreen, May 13, 2011
    Perhaps you and your Mom could get togather for a sesh; with the herb and each of your dildos!?! :ey: :laughing: :smoke:
     
  19. #59 King Kush, May 13, 2011
    DDDIIILLLLDDOOOO PARRRTTTYYYYYY!
    [​IMG]
     
  20. #60 MistyMorning, May 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2016
    hahahaha!!

    Just stick the cucumber in the fleshlight and leave it downstairs for your mom to find. Then she'll know whatsup!

    Can you imagine the look on your moms face when she was reading the instructions that shit? Hahahaha
     
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