Moms are great teachers. As mine did, I'm sure your Mom taught you some of these same rules in life...enjoy! My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to CRY ABOUT!" My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til those lima beans are gone!" My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!!!" My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"