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Mothers

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by Panhead, Apr 2, 2001.

  1. Moms are great teachers. As mine did, I'm sure your Mom
    taught you some of these same rules in life...enjoy!

    My mother taught me RELIGION -
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week!"

    My mother taught me LOGIC:
    "Because I said so, that's why."

    My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    My mother taught me IRONY -
    "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to CRY ABOUT!"

    My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

    My mother taught me about STAMINA -
    "You'll sit there 'til those lima beans are gone!"

    My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
    "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't
    exaggerate!!!"

    My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
    Stop acting like your father!"

    My mother taught me about ENVY -
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
    who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
     

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