Just what I wanted to happen....sitting here playing guitar, kickin' it on GC. I look down only to see the hairiest, most grotesque looking, beast of a spider crawling up the fretboard. I slap at him and throw shit about...strip down and toss the blankets off the bed...only to have the thing bite me on the bum. Fuck.
Now there's an unsettling thought. Just make sure they're not in cahoots with that house centipede colony in under your computer chair....
haha well if theres one there has to be more they just dont magically show up. fucking spiders man this guy probably has a nest somewhere with little unborn spiders waiting to wreak havoc. for real man those things are layed by the dozens...
Uggghhhh! That story gave me the creepies. The other night I was grabbing my scale from under my couch, it somehow got shoved all the way to the back. After 5 minutes of reaching my arm all the way back in there and not being able to grab it, I finally pull the couch forward a bit, and what do I see? A big ass spider crawling out from where I just had my arm. It got within reach of me to kill it, so I turn around for literally 2 seconds to grab a shoe or something, and the fuckin' thing just disappears. I looked everywhere, moved around everything in the immediate are where it was... I never found the fucker...
That's just it, after the thing bit me I slapped my ass so many times you'd think I was doing solo porn(....?). I still haven't found the body and I've been going over the floor as well as my bed with a flashlight. I have a feeling he isn't done with me.
Haha, shit. That reminds of this time quite a while back when my brother and I saw this massive wolf spider haulin' ass across the living room floor towards the armchair. I grabbed a can of air spray and a lighter and told him to tip the chair up so I could torch the fucker. Well, once the chair was tilted, we don't see it until my brother screams like his nuts just got cut in half and flies back so hard he left a nice, torso-sized dent in the drywall. The spider had crawled up the side of the chair without our notice and was literally two inches away from his face when he spotted it. God, that was priceless....
holmes, it crawled in your ass [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8dSBWysmnM"]YouTube- Boris the Spider[/ame]
I've killed many Brown Recluses & had a few close calls, but luckily no bites. Just try really hard not to think about the fact that they are plotting an attack right now and that you'll be covered with them as soon as you fall asleep tonight. Glad I could help.
Hey, it could be worse. Do you know what Norwegian scabies is? What about furuncular myiasis? Aural and nasal myiasis are even more fun. Ever seen how human botflies propagate? My, this truly is a wonderful world....
You're absolutely right. Matter of fact, you've made the swelling of my ass go down with your words of wisdom.
Every time i take a shower i make sure there is no spiders anywhere. They've hidden behind the shower curtain before and having them come out when i'm in the middle of washing my hair is fucking terrible, now i always check. That sucks man.
So, while we're telling spider stories... This one time, years ago, I was staying the night with a guy friend. There was a spider in the corner of his room, one of the big daddy-long-leg types (not the harvestmen kind but actual an actual daddy-long-leg) I told him "if you don't kill that thing it's going to try to eat my face while I sleep" He's all "nah, it's been in that corner for weeks, it won't even move" So I'm fast asleep in the middle of the night... and something falls on my goddamnface! I wake up freaking out "what was that?! what was that?!" and he nonchalantly tosses something off the bed and says "nothing!" The spider was gone. It was totally the fucking spider. It tried to eat my face just like I said it would!
*puts feet up onto chair* [ame="http://www.break.com/index/huge-spider-gets-away.html"]Huge Spider Gets Away Video@@AMEPARAM@@http://embed.break.com/1676687@@AMEPARAM@@1676687[/ame]
Oh for the love of fuck, that thing is scary as shit. That must be some sort of tarantula to be that big, right? Tarantulas in general seem to scare me less than big-ass spiders, because they move all slow and seem so docile... But that one is all creepy and long-legged.