Most likely going to jail in 2 weeks...

Read the sticky at top of page?

 

ya man its possible to clean ur system out in 2 weeks gotta drink alot of water tho but you can also try detox go to you local headshop ask wich is the best seller and how it works dont say what u need it for

 

Come on man you can pass a piss test. Hit GNC of equivalent and ask them what detox drinks they have. I was in yuor shoes a couple of times, and passed tests at probation with ease. That was back in the day though - seems like these days they're concerned with the color of the urine, which wasn't a factor back then. Good luck.

 

what kind of place is testing you, i may be able to help. what did the cup look like, small or big, what did she do to test the urine?

 

It seems that everyone thinks drinking tons of water somehow "cleans out your system."

What it really does is for a couple hours after drinking the huge amounts of water, your urine will be so diluted that there will be very little THC in it. As a long-term solution however, it's useless, and you'll pretty be guaranteed to have to retake it if your piss is that diluted.

You only really have 2 options.

1.) Get Synthetic Urine (Won't work for supervised tests)
2.) Eat a high-calorie diet, increase your intake of caffeine, do plenty rigorous cardio (Lots of sweating is the objective here), or anything else that will increase your metabolic rate.

Honestly though, from smoking that much, you're pretty much ***** if you don't get the synthetic urine. I was smoking about an 1/8th a week for about 2 months, and it took me 3 weeks to piss clean. (6'0", 140lbs)

Some side notes..

- Niacin does not work
- Detox drinks don't work (They clean out your intestines, colon, etc. THC is in fat.)
- Most drinks and pills on the 'net can be detected on tests

Best of luck bro, jail sucks.


Oh, and stop smoking.

 

have a friend who doesn't smoke piss in a cup for you and put it in ur pocket w/ a pocker warmer and your all set

 

Dude how the fuck could you keep smoking if u where explicitly told that if you failed the next test you would be going to jail... and dude u have a daughter...

but yes its possible in 2 weeks... but i dont think you will have learned ur lesson

 

Read the sticky! Also stop smoking. The first few days are gunna suck but then you will be fine. Good luck .

 

[quote name='cryptix420']It seems that everyone thinks drinking tons of water somehow "cleans out your system."

it does help clean ur sytem faster and it flushes ur bladder out to it will also dilute ur pee iff u drink alot in one day but drink the right amount everyday and get some detox for the test ur good

 

Hard for you? Are you serious? You have your daughters childhood at stake. You need to grow up right now and start taking responsibility for your actions for the sake of her. If you really don't want to go to jail then you need to start exercising like a machine. I mean everyday for at least an hour. Got time to kill after work/whatever? Don't sit around and watch TV. Go out and jog/walk/whatever to get you moving.

I think it should be obvious but you can't smoke anymore till all your drug tests are done and over with. Again, think of your daughter. In fact, have a friend or someone hold on to all of your smoking equipment so you don't even see it. Now, go out and start running.

I'm sorry if I seem a bit harsh on you but your daughter's life trumps your own at the moment and whatever has to be done to give you that kick in the rear to get at it has to be done.

 

With no disrespect, you're wrong.

All the water does is dilute your piss below the 50ng/mL that standard drug tests use. They test for THC by looking for the metabolites released into your urine by your THC-containing fat cells when they are burned.

So even though you drank tons of water, all that THC is still stored in all those fat cells.

 

I agree on the water side of what your saying, but how can you be so certain that niacin, detox, and the online pills will either not work or be detected? Im not for sure they do work, but you make it sound as though he is completely fucked, when he could still have a chance.....

 

yes thc is stored in ur body fats but its still has to be released evan when they are burned im not saying drinking just water will do alot but it helps get the excess shit out of u faster

 

Because I've tried Niacin myself, the kind from GNC (no time release) and it most definitely did not work. I got the flush alright, but the THC was still there.

Most Detox drinks are more of a detox for your intestines and such, so that would be pointless. The online drinks and pills may work, and often do result in a negative for THC, but many tests now check for them. Just trying to help, but if he wants to risk it he can.

I never said he was completely fucked, far from it. If he does all the things I suggested with dedication to increase his metabolism, he has a chance. Other than that, fake piss is the only sure way.

 

dont detox. either get a friend to get your piss or exercise vigorously for the next 2 weeks. I substitute on my drug tests, and if i fail one id go to jail for 2 years... why the fuck don't i learn?

oh and your test isnt really all that hardcore, you can easily substitute a sample. Try getting clean piss in a visene bottle or something of the sort and put it in your waistband and put it in. Dont smoke until after your done being tested, please, because it would hurt me to see that happen to a little girl.

 

Boo, hoo, hoo............I have NO sympathy. It's hard for you, huh? Tell ya what. Just think about how hard it's gonna be on your little daughter by not being able to see her dad because he's in effin jail. But obviously, THAT thought wasn't enough for your selfish ass to stop smoking weed, so the ONLY sympathy that I have is for your daughter...........you idiot.

Now having said all that, I hope to God that some of the ideas mentioned here work for you.............well actually, not for you, but for her.