Most hilarious newbie mistake

So true, I grew up with all my brothers older friends and veteran smokers and they taught me everything from simple smoking to the back world of drugs. This has helped me so fucking much. I am now the "veteran smoker" to all my friends who already have 4ish years under there belts...2 less than me.

But hell, its still funny as shit to mock a newbie

 

I'm hitting this bong in my room during a party with a kid I had smoked with before and his kinda dorky friend. His friend said he'd smoked before, but was confused by the bong.

We explain how to use it, and for some reason before he hit it I mentioned "Oh, and if you have to cough, don't cough back into the bong. It will spray water everywhere." It was strange I never really think to mention this to noobs since it's not too common.

Sure enough, immediately after I finish saying it this kid coughs right into the bong and sprayed bong water all over his friend. I wasn't even upset, it was just the most ironic thing ever. Poor kid.

 

Sorry for the double post but I got another one.

This guy who was kindof an asshole was wasted and wanted to smoke, so we got this huge bong we just bought and put it on the table. We took the bowl, but before we could pack it he started to hit the bong with no bowl, and did so for about a minute. We all just stared in disbelief, noone said anything. Afterwards he gets up and says "nice hit" and wanders away. Absurd.

 

haha i love reading these and seeing how many of them i have done
* Torching a bowl my first time hitting a bong (don't think they minded... plenty of entertainment value when i was burping up smoke 5 minute later and turned completely white and couldn't get back to my room/open the door on my own)
* Letting a blunt go out the sunroof of a car while trying to ash on a blunt cruise... (don't know if it was entirely my fault, we were going fast on the highway and the wind took it right out of my hand.... but still )


i've never done this... but witnessed it many times: when people either start laughing or coughing while taking a hit from a dry piece and "volcano" all the weed out...

 

i tottlay understand

 

not funny but i hate when i smoke with noobs and they blow out the bowl

 

takin a hit friend made a stupid face I laughed and shot the bowl like 1 foot in the air ,forgot to take the bowl of an iron lung burnt the fuck outa my lip first time i got high i asked if it was laced

 

this shit is so funny!

 

My guy, hes a heavy smoker, hes always throwing up money for bud, we were all sitting around drunk busting 40's finished a round of Circle of Death.

Anyhow, he wants to sell and shit. And were all talking about prices and all that

I said "Man, do you even know how many grams are in a ounce"

"Erm.. 17".

Im like, you gotta learn before you sell - Someone can rip you off big time.

 

i was smoke a while back with someone who claimed to have blazed before we pulled out the bong and loaded a bowl with some bomb green crack and he was talkin about how the bud was shit and we all smokin until it got to his spot in the rotation and he didnt even know how to smoke out of a bong after sayin he smokes out of the bong all the time then he takes about a half a hit didnt clear it and was stoned out his mind and then was sayin how bomb the bud was lol

 

My first time smoking I bought an eighth of some shitty ass weed for 45 dollars.

 

When a couple of buddies of mine and I smoke blunts we do this thing called "Bossin' it" (we've been doing it since we were kids so yeah it's pretty childish) where we basically pretend to act like a Boss and put a Boss face on when you're taking a hit.

After my friends rolls a blunt he pours himself a glass of water and puts the blunt in his mouth when we walk out to the car so we can hotbox it he tries talking with the blunt in his mouth and ends up dropping it into the cup of water. The blunt was completely submerged.

We try to light it up but no smoke will pass through, we microwave it a couple times and end up breaking it apart and using a pipe to hit it. Noob mistake? Maybe. Class A Idiot Mistake? For sure.

 

when i was like...14 my cousin asked me to smoke a bowl... i asked "a bowl of what?" i was eating cereal and had just woken up. heheh


we smoked the other day together actually!! it was fun/strange.

 

"Wheres the carb?"....we were smoking a blunt

 

Friend first time smoking we were in the car, was smoking a bong and coughed and blew the cone piece out the window on a highway

 

I've done some stupid things when I first started smoking...

I've smoked the wrong end of the blunt.. yes the cherry and I managed not to burn myself luckily. In my defense we usually pass the blunt cherry pointing away and I just didn't look.

And one time I was trying to unload a cashed bowl from my bubbler and turned it upside down getting water and ash all over my desk. The water was pretty nasty and it made my room smell like bong water for a few days no matter how much air freshener I sprayed. I think I may have just been too messed up to realize what I was doing.

 

Me and a few buddies were at a chill spot we normally go to.
Somebody brought this new kid who just kinda sounded like a dweeb when he talked and shit so ithought it was gonna be wonderful to see this kid high. I pass him the bowl and lighter and he looks at it. looks at me. looks at it and says,"You take this back, I don't wanna mess up" hahahahahahaha

 

I know a kid who lit the wrong end of the joint. You know, the card rolled up for a roach.
He lit it and took a huge ass hit. He coughed for like 20 minutes and never actually got any weed xD.

 

me and a couple of my buddies, one of which is new to smoking, so were doing some oil rips off of a cigarrette, and we give it to the "noob" i will call him, i dropped the oil on the tip and the noob began to smoke it like he was smoking a cigarrette, we tried to tell him he was doing it wrong but we were all to baked and just started laughing, good times lol.

 

best noob mistake was my friend jen. she has smoked before, but not very much. she had never smoked out of a bong before though. so on a friday night a few of us are hanging out and me and my buddy break out the stash. this girl jen asks if she can smoke too. we set up the bong for her and explain how it works. we tell her not to light the weed very long because the bong will fill up before she ever feels smoke in her lungs. she pretty much ignored that advice and ended up with the bong totally filled with smoke. she clears the bong and starts coughing her lungs out. i don't think she moved off the couch for like 2 hours after that one rip.