Most badass thing you've ever done

Fakir · Aug 11, 2012

InitialToke93 said:

Lol
i got suspended for pissing in this chicks drink bottle

when she had to go do some errand for the teacher,

Not really badass but its something i remember.
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dude thats not funny!

i was once sipping beers with my sort of homeless buddy, when i put down my can, i accidently picked up one of the bastards piss cans, i realized this when i had the shit in my mouth

he found it pretty damn funny though

denalii · Aug 11, 2012

I think walking into coles and taking 40+ energy drinks in one run is pretty legendary in my shoplifting books. After doing that a few times, they started getting suspicious that the drink isle was notoriously empty after I entered...

denalii · Aug 11, 2012

mynameisbake said:

My girlfriend was bitching at me to get a job so I did what I thought was right and clocked that bitch in the face and broke her nose
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If you're not joking, you're a fuckin' idiot.

TheOriginalMad · Aug 11, 2012

Fakir said:

dude thats not funny!

i was once sipping beers with my sort of homeless buddy, when i put down my can, i accidently picked up one of the bastards piss cans, i realized this when i had the shit in my mouth

he found it pretty damn funny though
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A kid at a party I was at a few months ago pissed in a beer can and gave it to an obnoxious drunk girl. She chugged it and continued chugging even as people told her it was piss.

GreenRangerFOH · Aug 11, 2012

Sanguine said:

Its a real, real long story...

Basicly, theres this 3 story-high building, which was like an old wharehouse, anyways as kids we thought it was desolate, so we decided to turn it into a 'crib'. We do so, for like 4 months, about 10-15 of us fixed up this old wharehouse and smoked bud and got drunk as hell all the time in it. Fucked shit up basicly.

Anywho, after about 4 months of being there on our weekends/free time, A night came, that was so crazy, I cant do it justice with words... At first, we heard a chopper, we just thought nothing of it, except that it was loud, so someone sticks there head out of a windows and says that its flying incredibly low with a spotlight. At this point were all freaking the fuck out (its like 2am, were drunk and high beyond good measure)...next thing you know, sirens, so so many.

The escape...

I took off with 3 close friends, they came to this place the most and knew a good escape route, we split from the other 4 people..Immediatley we jumped through this window that led onto a metal, scaffolding type of balcony overlooking the wharehouse floor...and the most shocking thing you could see whilst high was in the main room below us, about 7-10 cops. through all the noise of the sirens, and chopper, they had no idea we were standing about 2 story's above them (atleast 30+ ft)...I was in panic, was shaking really bad, and I dont know why (but I'm faithful) I ran away from the other 3 I was with, and climbed out of this tiny sort of ventilation window, which was the riskiest thing Ive ever done..I was clinging on to the side of a window, tiptoes away from a 30ft drop, and climbed ontop of the whare house roof.

I thought I was going to die, if not do life in jail or some shit lol (I was about 15 at the time) Standing on a thin metal warehouse roof, with a chopper beam blinding me, sirens ringing in my ears...I thought I was fucked. I attempted to 'fire man slide?' down the guttering/pipes that goes all the way down to the floor, I get about 15ft down, and fall, I shit you not, I flipped in the air backwards, and landed on my stomach in this small, hedgerow type bush (which I had no idea was even there).

Got straight up, and hauled fucking ass. Had no idea where I was running, just ran. For sure the police on the ground were chasing me, could hear them moment away, but thank fuck the helicopter didnt follow, as the police's low light emitting torches are what probably saved my ass. Eventually after running for about 5-6 minutes, I got to this pointy metal fence, it was like an anti-entry one, as spikes were pointing at the way I needed to climb over. Thought fuck it, Ive came this far, If I get impaled now then whatever. Miraculously get over without a single cut, I collapsed on the opposite side of the fence and died. For about a minute I was gasping for air, listening to the police get closer and closer.. I knew they werent going to get over the fence, but I decided to play it safe and start running to a nearby neighbourhood.

I feel like I dragged this story along WAAAAAAY too much, so yeah..My final escape home was; Me finding a neighbourhood, dodging a bunch of cop cars patrolling, me finding out I lost my phone, wallet and bud during the pole fall...and a long ass walk home.

Tldr- Was a stupid kid, broke into somwhere, cops came (chopper, 4-6 cars), we later found out they came because they thought it was a 'meth lab'? lol. I climbed ontop of a really tall roof, did some james bond shit...however fell backwards into a bush, got up and did some running that would do an Olympic proud. All at whilst I was mad drunk, and stoned to high heaven.

Sorry for such a long post
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Whoa one of the best stories on the thread

HBGBUB · Aug 11, 2012

[quote name='"GreenRangerFOH"']

Whoa one of the best stories on the thread[/quote]

I'm gonna agree I wish I could find it and rep it that was awesome

eveningtiger4 · Apr 3, 2015

Left school right after lunch with this one chick went to go smoke, got hella faded came back to school no one suspected a thing

boydamien · Apr 3, 2015

Couldn't possibly confess on here

aznno0odles · Apr 3, 2015

I havent read shit yet but,fuck.what a bad ass thread...will report back after some thinking

quadridincopedipper · Apr 3, 2015

ironballs said:

saw this thread had to register to post my epic story

its pretty long but whatever, it was the the most craziest thing in my life absolutely nothing compares to the adrenaline rush,

so about 3 weeks ago me and about 4 other friends were hanging out in a forest near a cliff, there was a party but like police and the kids parents showed up cause it got out of control, like over 150 random black people (not bein racist) showed up cause it was on the corner of a main road and there was fights and shit, so we got the fuck out of there cause police were coming in. no big deal escape or anything but we were all drunk as fuck and really high, we were walking around breaking mailboxes and shit til we got to this forest and we were collecting wood to build a campfire or some shit until my one buddy went over and discovered this old ass abandoned building from like the 1920s.

so theres this tower on top of an abandonded mental hospital thats been empty since like world war I, people have been going there for years partying n shit all the time, theres broken tables and beer bottles and all kinds of shit there. anyways we went here a couple times years ago but we didnt even remember what it was like inside. so its friday night at like 10pm we had fuck all to do so we decided to go to this place and chill cause it was sick. so we get there and every window is boarded up, doors and bolted shut and everything and like we have no idea how the fuck to get in.

so we climb up this wall thing drunk and baked as fuck, my one buddy actually cut open his hand on broken glass we didnt even notice til later, but yea we got on the roof and found a crowbar so we were looking for a place to break in but all the windows were too high up but we found this door that like lead underground underneath the place all boarded up. so after like 4 of us cranked this fuckin thing at once we pried off like an 8 foot solid wooden frame and cracked open the door and went in. it was fucking crazy, bunch of old medical equipment, broken glass walls, garbage everywhere, there were those stretcher things they tied up crazy people in and all kinds of trippy shit.

we went down into the basement using our phones as flashlights and we were all tripping the fuck out, we thought we saw ghosts and dead bodies and shit so we were all walking around carrying like make-shift weapons like broken bottles wooden boards, tools whatever lol and so we explore for a while and end up climbing up way up in this tower-building thingy thats lached ontop of the roof, we called it the space ship hot box cause its like a little pod that sits at the top of a stairway ontop of this 4 story building. shit was crazy

anyways were all drinking everything we had left from the party, going shot for shot burning gravity bongs (we had a 3 liter waterbottle shit was cray) and at about 11:50pm or some shit we just hear "POLICE STOP WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW" and we heard banging/kicking on the wallss we all look at eachother for a split second then just fucking DIP and i mean like DIP we all ran so fucking fast, shit was flying everywhere tables were falling over and shit, there were 2 exits to this room, one was a stairway built inside the building connected and one was an outter stairway to the roof (one we came up on), there was a door inside but a big empty metal safe was lined up against it as a seat/table we used, so the door jammed and the cops couldnt get in the same room as us, so they were like stuck and we had a small headstart we sprinted down onto the roof and had no idea where to go, me and my boy ricky are looking over the edge seeing if theres anywhere we can climb down. my other 2 friends go running straight back into the building, they seemed like they knew where they were going so we fuckin ran with em and were running through this building.

so were all like fuckin flying through this building, tripping out cause it was scary and we heard cops running everywhere so we get to the top of this stairway that leads to the same place we got in, we see like 4 fuckin flashlights we all pause immediately and my retard friend makes a noise and the lights flash up on us on our faces, we turn arouynd stumbling everywhere running and were at like this foyer floor so my 2 friends run to one side theres a ladder that leads to the basement there heading down it but its like falling apart so there going slow, rickys at the window and he grabs a hose off the fuckin wall and whips it through a window smashing it and hes trying to clear off the sides so he doesnt cut himself, then he starts to like climb out, meanwhile im waiting in line to go down the fuckin ladder and a cop pops out from behind a fucking door on the left wall so i just start running man holy shit i ran all the way to the end of the foyer through the boiler room and back, ran in a circle basically so i get back to the hall and i sprint along the hall i can see more lights towards the ladder so im like fuck it, i instinctively turn left to the room my boy ricky was in and while still in full sprint i fuckin jump from like 4 feet away and i hurl through this fuckin window like an olympic long-jumper and i felt the cop reach at my neck just as i jumped and it threw me off balance i smashed my head off the window frame and went flying through the window but i had no idea where i was going so i grabbed onto the hose that was hanging and it was like between my legs so i wizzed out the window die-hard style with this rusty old 1920s hose scruncing my nuts with one hand, i swing about 10 feet out from the building do a 180 then the hose goes right back and im swinging right back towards the window i see the cop staring at me with a light so i fuckin change levels and slide down this thing and about 15 ft lower i smash into a brick wall and pipe and fuckin mangle my shoulder, i can barely hold on now so im sliding down this hose along the wall and then my boy ricky is like spidermanning down the wall all slow and shit then i just swing down and my ass smashes him right in the head and he drops off the hose onto a tin roof and goes right through it and then i fall to and land on some boxes of cardboard right next to him.

i have no idea how ricky didnt die, we landed like a foot from all this broken glass and shit but anyways were only like 1 or 2 stories off the ground now running along the edge of the smaller building off the side, he jumped to the second level and i tripped and rolled off the edge and slid down this iron pipe, if i wasnt waearing jeans i wouldve ripped my nuts clean off, then we were headed towards the part we climbed up on but we saw like 4 fucking squad cars so we turn around and theres a cop chasing us we hear dogs barking were freaking out so im like fuck it and i grab ricky and we both jump off this mini-roof thing and barrel roll off the ground and as soon as we landed we started sprinting as fast as we could, we headed straight to the forest and just before we got there there wass a road infront of it and a cop pulled up out of nowhere and ricky made it across i ran and jumped, cleared the windshield of this cruiser and broke the mirror off it with my ankle and tumbled down into a revine. my boy kept running so i was like 20ft behind and im running between trees and shit i can hear like 4 cops chasing me yelling and lights n shit, i run about 300 yards and were in this bushy area where theres a big fence, it didnt have wires or anything but it was like 12 feet so i slowed down i thought the cops stopped so i was catching my breath for a sec when a 2 lights started coming towards me from different directions so im like fuck im done now,

i start slowly walking towards the fence and i step on the wrong stick and it makes the most ridicolously loud snap noise ever, the cops start fuckin running at me so i book it again and i knew i couldnt climb this fence cause i was too drunk so i ran and jumped like 4 feet in the air onto a tree with one foot then used that to boost me to halfway up the fence real quick so like i jumped ground-tree-fence in like 1 second and im up on this fence, my shirt gets caught so i jump anyways and it rips in half so i keep running and im at this like overgrown bushy ski-hill that connects to the side of the forest so im sprinting still and im like 30 feet from the edge, i hear a cop yell "OVER THERE" so i turn around for a split second to look how far they are away, theres literally liek 4 cops so im like FUCK and i turn back around and i trip, lose my footing and wiped the fuck out. i started tumbling down this hill, i honestly rolled through like 60 yards of bushes, trees and shit i had no control i was just barrel rolling like a mad man i was going so fast i cleared right over a 6-ft wide path inbetween the hills and kept rolling. i was like running and i kept falling and rolling then id get back up keep running it was crazy, i get to the bottom and id never been here before so i have no idea where im going im like down the side of the cliff now (part of my city is on a mountain so like i ran down the side basically) and its like a bike path. i find this shitty ass bike in the bush and i start pedalling like a motherfucker i had no idea where i was going just along this path and then after like 60 feet the chain pops off and i go flying over the handle bars and smash my right arm. so like my right arm/shoulder is useless now so im running holding one arm like a retard and just when i think im done i end up at a golf-course parking lot, theres 2 crackheads doing burnouts in golf-carts in the west end of the parking lot so i run over full speed and i time it perfectly there coming ot a stop one gets out and looks like hes gonna puke on the curb the other didnt even see me i ran full speed and dropkicked the motherfucker right out of the front seat,

like dukes of hazard style i kicked this guy right in the face with both my feet im pretty sure he was knocked out cold but i kept going anyways,
i went too far and was like hanging out the side and i grab the wheel and id never driven this thing before so i just start flying the wrong direction, im going straight for a hill the wrong way but i turn at the last second and almost flip it over, so im heading back to the rest of the path and a fucking squad car pulls up the driveway and theres 2 flashlights on the path in the distance behind me running too so i go to the corner of the parking lot and they put these bigass rocks on it so people dont drive there cars/ATVs on the path so i pull my leg in and put it to high speed and i BARELY got inbetween these 2 rocks, the whole cart shook and i saw sparks flying, im pretty sure one of the tires blew out but then i hit full throttle and once again almost crashed, but i got my shit under control so now im crusing down a path at night,

saw a random ass hobo picking up beer cans and shit, i was about 200 yards from the police now and then out of nowhere some dude jumps out of the bush and i hit the breaks and he jumps out of the way but i clip him in mid air. i was like fucki t and started driving again and then this dude runs up and jumps onto the back i was like oh fuck a fuckin cop but it was my boy ricky man he was hanging on the side and he jumps into the passenger and hes like holy fuck man DRIVE, he was running along there the whole way while i was getting chased by cops, he said he heard a car coming and he saw lights so he jumped in a bush to hide then he saw me and i was about a second away from killing him.

anyways we keep driving and the tire i blew out earlier blows right off after about 3 or 4 minutes (felt like hours at the time, so intense) and the thing starts leaning to the one side but its still going fast so we stay in til we hit a fuckin rock and the thing pops up in the air ricky goes flying out and i jump out too and the thing flips over and hurls into a tree then into a revine. we didnt even look back we just got up and kept running then we saw a set of stairs with lights that went up to the escarpment about 100ft away so we cut through the forest and like ran along it about 40ft out cause we thought cops would be there, so we get to the top and we cant run no more and we didnt want to go to the stairs so we climbed up like 15 feet of rock in bare hands, got to the top, just as i was about to step up my foot slipped and i was climbing up with a useless dummy arm n shoulder so i woulda fallen but ricky grabbed my arm and pulled me up it was crazy my life was flashing before my eyes i went all that way and almost fell to my death for like the 6th time. he pulls me up, were jogging on this street and we hear a car coming so we dip this dudes fence and run through a guys yard and out onto his front lawn, we have no idea where we are so were just running fence hopping and shit and we both end up jumping into some random dudes backyard, he was having a party and there was like a barbeque, pattio about 15 dudes and they were all just chillin cleaning up and me and my boy just come flying over this guys fence and land next to a table of people just staring at us. my shirts basically ripped in half, were both covered in blood and ricky tries to keep running LOL and this dude just grabs him and hes like woah woah what the fuck happened and we were so out of breath we just fell down they ran over there like woah call 911 this kids fuckin dying im like NO man cops were chasing us through the woods for the last hour, give us a minute to rest well explain everything.

some guy in sunglasses just stands up and hes like "whaaa da faaaaaaaaaaaaaack" and all these people in like there 20s are just howling like what the fuck 2 kids just flew over the fence lol, so they get us to sit at the table and by now its like 1am and there parties kinda ending and theres all these extra burgers and hotdogs and chips on the table, they tell us to dig in so they dont have to clean it up, i ate like 6 fucking hamburgers and drank about 4 cans of pop and some beer while we told these people who were just as hammered as us the entire story. after telling them for about half an hour and how we were smoking weed and shit some dude goes and grabs a bong from the house and they smoke us out a bunch of dank because we made their night. we got even more drunk high and got some girls numbers then at like 4am we walked back to my buddy rickys house and his parents were asleep so we snuck in and went and plugged our phones in to charge cause they were dead.went on facebook quick added all the new people we met ahahah then we fuckin crashed literally 2 minutes after getting into the room,

woke up like 4pm the next day and ate dinner at his house and went home and slept for another 5 hours then woke up at midnight and watched a UFC event. apparently my 2 friends who went down the ladder ran out the door we came in and my one friend got grabbed so my other friend punched a cop then they both ran about 5 miles the wrong direction and spent like 3 hours lost in the hood looking for a way home. my other buddy hid in the fucking abandoned pitch dark basement for like 2 hours til the cops dipped and then he waited an extra hour in silence and he thought he saw demons and shit so he freaked out and ran out of the building and a cop was still cruising the area so he almost got caught again, but we all made it away without getting caught. the boy that was hiding in the basement heard the cops talking and shit, he says they had atleast 20 cops looking for us and they were gonna call a helicopter but the captain said fuck it. the one cop was freaking out saying he almost died and shit and it turns out the reason the cops showed up was because when we broke down the door we set a silent-alarm off and the cops responded late cause they were busy which is why we werent busted right away, but still we werent even there that long.

it was so crazy i stayed home from school the first 2 days of the week recovering, it was probably the most interesting story of my life. i ended up tearing 3 muscles in my arm, my trapezius, i dislocated my shoulder, sprained my wrist and ankle and i had bruises all over my body and i have a scar from my asscrack to the side of my back.
all my friends call me ironballs now lol.

gonna make a movie about it some day
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Jeez, that's fucking intense. But that's what you call living bro

chinesei's · Apr 3, 2015

Doing stupid illegal shit doesnt make you badass...

Keep1Rolled · Apr 3, 2015

I wanna know what happened to ironballs lol what a fucking legend.

and also, you're hot

cor31y · Apr 4, 2015

Reverse donuts in my Honda civic. Lmao.

thehighkite · Apr 4, 2015

Beat the shit out of this kid who spit in my face when I was in high school. Met him before the class we had together, and got down. Didn't get caught, and my teacher who he also had at the same time as me said good job whooping the shit out of the kid. (It was videotaped and I guess my teacher didn't see his face too well, or he wouldn't have said it, but nonetheless, I felt badass as hell.)

Windexism · Apr 5, 2015

Ran from a police helicopter and got home free

Dabbing at an andre nickatina show

SiriusWolff · Apr 5, 2015

Dukes of hazzard jumped my 01 mustang at 115 up a very steep hill like san francisco kinda steep. Got over the hill and hit the brakes nothing happened. Got probably 80-100ft of distance.

that came to mind first, atleast of what i can talk about.

s A t I v A · Apr 5, 2015

I don't want to incriminate myself

SiriusWolff · Apr 5, 2015

I've prep cleared houses, won fight club tournaments, got a full ride to west point (broke my back), survive barrel rolling a polaris 800 at 80 mph, tons of shit!

Messiah Decoy · Apr 5, 2015

I had a threesome.

Was getting a happy ending massage but I looked kind of bored so the masseuse gets another woman and I have sex with both of them.

I had other threesomes but that was my favorite.

Messiah Decoy · Apr 5, 2015

I was getting verbally bullied my sophmore year at high school by this huge gorilla senior.

Started reading Bruce Lee training books and waking up eatly to train. I'd jog in the cold mornings and hit the punching bag for a while.

I never came to blows with the guy but I'm pretty proud that I prepared myself for combat.

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