Long Story short. Ive been with this girl for about 4 years. Had one kid and that stuff..yeah... But here lies the problem, Suddenly i find myself completely unattracted to her or her personality. I guess im starting to get tired her. We've had problems before, hell i think we argued last night . Im really starting to think she feels the same way about me...but who knows really unless i ask. im trying my hardest not to cheat, but is morality really that big of a deal? I haven't had sex with another girl besides the one im with in 4 years O_O.....its driving me insane. Whats a brother to do?
Man up and be a father to your child. If you guys don't like each other get a divorce. Just be sure your can pay child support and alimony. Oh and don't forget the legal fees.
Im a good parent. i work full time and likes.I always provide. Honestly, im not scared of child support, but is it worth losing my mind and staying in an unhappy relationship? Theres no reason i cant be a good parent just because im not with my daughters mother. I probably should have been more thorough in my explanation. btw its more than just sex. I just figured id throw that in there as well.
Sounds like a divorce is the answer. What about a prenup? Would you go to court or do you think you and your wife can be settle and not involve lawyers. Would you be willing to give up full custody of your daughter? If you go to court it'll be fucked up and nasty.
If you want to explore all your options before you throw in the towel...have you tried couples therapy? If money is an issue you can often find low cost or sliding scale counseling at clinics or schools with social work or psychology programs. Going to therapy before a divorce may also make the divorce process easier, and smooth the transition for your child.
well he'res the thing. We're not married we're just together. I doubt that changes much since my daughter is involved. Ive also never had therapy for anything. not sure what to expect from that. But things arent exactly getting any better between the both of us. The happiness hasnt been there since my daughter was born. 3 years ago. And its tough not having any kind of support. (friends family etc) its a difficult and confusing situation. Luckily im still sane (for the time being)
Dunno about laws where your at but watch for common-law marriage. If you been livin together long enough you can end up with alimony, lack of ring be damned.
If they do it right they get you and your partner to explore your goals, try to pinpoint where the breakdown in communication is occurring, that sort of thing. Its usually pretty painless and often quite helpful. Its not like you lay on a couch and talk about your mother. If problems started just after the birth of your child...Is there any chance your partner is depressed or suffering from hormonal issues? Is her method of birth control affecting her mood or libido?
LOL hell no! Her libido is fine..Its mine thats not working...well...not with her anyway. Im going to have to be brutally honest here and say that im no longer turned by her. Though i cant muster up the courage to tell her that. The sex is very dull. predictable. Shes not ugly either. But im just so used to her....its almost akward now. She doesnt seem to have a problem with the sex. I tell i have to give people who stay married to one person their entire lives alot of credit. But like i said its more than just sex, but im not denying that it could be better.
Stay together for the kids. Well at least try to for as long as you can because its rough growing up with divorced parents.
I would disagree with you. I don't think you're doing the kid any favors by staying in a loveless and unhappy relationship. Like the OP said, he can still be a good involved parent. If you don't want to try and salvage things, it's time to move on. Try and keep the breakup as friendly and low drama as possible. And morality is important considering you've been together for 4 years and have a kid so don't cheat on her. Break it off, tie up loose ends, get your shit together, and then go find someone else.
If you believe in the afterlife.. Then morality is what saves you after this life (I know I am going to here a lot from some atheists on this board) even if you don't believe in it.. Its always good to have just in case it happens to be that this isn't the only life. I kinda go by -Pascal's Wager-.
Well, its pretty obvious from what youve said, you dont love her. Dont cheat. You wouldnt want your daughter having to live with that...she'll find out one day. Set a good example. Sounds like you have some talking to do.
If you don't think there is any possible way to rekindle things with the mother of your child then you should do the respectful thing and talk to her about it...Let her know it isn't personal and that you just feel like you've grown too far apart. Keep it civil, you have a child, and that child should really be the most important thing. Sex isn't necessarily something to chase after it seems like a big point here but really a moment of pleasure isn't worth what you might be able to salvage out of a 4 year relationship. This person is your companion, I agree with whoever said to go to couples therapy, it is worth a shot. Just be honest about your unhappiness and at first make it clear that you are willing to work on and maybe if she is willing to things will look up. Life can be hard, 3 years is a lot of time to go being unhappy with someone you shouldn't waste anymore time not trying to fix things. I hope you find a solution that is good for YOU and your family.