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Mommy, mommy!

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by sherwoodlikahit, Mar 12, 2004.

  1. Mommy, Mommy!! What's a lesbian?
    Go ask your father, she'll know.

    Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that food the dog wouldn't eat?
    Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

    Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
    Shut up and kiss me!

    Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to go to counseling?
    Shut up, pass the bong, put down your beer, and deal the cards.

    Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe!
    Good, it's working.

    Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise.
    Shut up and eat around it!

    Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma?
    Not today, we already dug her three times this week.

    Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
    Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

    Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!
    Shut up and comb your face.

    Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?
    I don't know dear, ask your father.

    Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac?
    Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!

    Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale?
    Shut up and keep digging.

    Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out!
    Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

    Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
    Shut up son, you'll wake your father.

    Mommy, Mommy! The milkmans here; have you got the money or
    should I go out an play?

    Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running?
    Shut up and reload.

    Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma!
    Shut up and keep digging.

    Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!
    Shut up or I'll flush it again!

    Mommy, Mommy! I HATE tomato juice!
    Shut up and drink it before it clots.

    Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!
    Shut up, we only have it once a month..

    Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye!
    Shut up and eat around it.

    Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked!
    Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!

    Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!
    Shut up and get away from the dart board!

    Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big.
    Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in!

    Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we give Dad a decent burial?
    Shut up and keep flushing.

    Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
    Shut up and get the marshmallows!

    Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon!
    Shut up and close the coffin!

    Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers!
    Shut up and eat your french fries.

    Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
    Shut up and lick.

    Mommy, Mommy! What's oral sex?
    mmmrmmph mumble mumble mmhhh mmrph mmumbl

    Mommy, Mommy! Daddy just poisoned my kitten!
    Never mind dear. Perhaps he had to do it.
    No he didn't, he promised me I could!

    Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again?
    Shut up, you know that grandma's leg's not infected anymore.

    Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey?
    Shut up, you little snot.

    Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like Daddy's between my legs?
    You will when you're older, Mary.

    Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet?
    Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute.
    Can Granny take me?
    Her hand shakes.

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