Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and this is my first post. Yesturday my mom caught me smoking (sort of) in my room. I don't actually smoke a lot (maybe 5 times this year) but she snapped at me. I am not a bad kid I am 19 years old with a supervisor position at my job and have a 3.8GPA in college. She is also pulling all of my college funds and I have to move out by this month. She is extremely paranoid about everything I do even when I am coming home from school or work. I really need some advice but I feel like she is over reacting. I really have my act together but I truly believe that you gotta chill out sometimes. I know I made a mistake and it was the first thing I said. I have high goals (no pun intended) for myself but now I feel like they are thrown away.
Explain how you feel to her, I'm sure she'll listen. I'm sure you're an ok fella. If she won't listen and can't be rational, then fuck that bitch, move out and be happy to be living your own life. Try and get full time hours with your supervisor position so you can afford it. Will you have to drop out of college? If you do, then make sure your mother knows that she's fucked up. No mercy!
Seriously in this position your fucked straight mandingo fucked I say play the addiction card etc and ask for counseling or some shit make her feel bad for you your losing college funds that's the most important thing in your life It seems like you aren't gonna change her and its not worth blazin to lose your free rent and financial support
I agree and I never really smoke at home. She is paranoid about everything and she questions me everytime I leave the house (but I'm seriously not doing anything wrong). I'm not going to smoke for a long time and will never smoke in the house again. I literally did it just so I could keep her out of my space. My only option is to live with my dad in Hawaii . But I don think it is a good option because again I have great opportunities where my mom lives and I am concerned with my future.
you didn't make a mistake. you're smoking a plant that has never harmed anyone, and legal in many states. she just doesn't understand, and thanks to the gov she clearly believes weed is as bad as heroin or something. show her some studies of how it has medical quality, and studies showing it's not addictive, no brain damage ect.. then point out how well you're doing with your gpa and stuff. then i'd ask her what has changed do you seem like someone hurting themselves by smoking? this is what i'd do. i would try to make her understand. sorry if this doesn't help at all, but i hope it does somewhat. good luck.
^ This guy is right. If you've got a good position at work then i'm sure you'll be okay And yeah, that is fucked up about school and your mum, it isn't your fault that you like to smoke (for whatever possible and various reasons). If she is like my dad (I have no clue what type of person she is) then even though she thinks it's wrong and doesn't want you doing it she will love you enough not to try to control you. All you can do is be who you are the best you can.
The only reason why I smocked is because I have glaucoma (my mom doesn't believe me but I know I have it the doctor even said) and that I have been stressing over school and working nearly full time. She was a nurse before but she is just so against it. I don't know why. Whenever I'm sick she says take Motrin.... like for everything. I'm pretty sure an organic plant that is on this earth for a reason is better than a synthetic pill that is known to cause damage.
She loves me but she tries to control everyone in the household. My stepdad is literally a puppet. I normally don't complain but it gets annoying. If she wasn't always so nosey then I would never smoke at home and smoke out of the house.
Man up and move out. shouldnt have been doing something your mom feels so strongly about in her house. end of story. your 19, with a supervisory position. get a place and do your thing.
I agree but I really want to expand and continue moving up job positions. Eventually I will reach a point where I would need a full degree and that is something I will not have unless I take out some nasty loans...
Welcome to the real world friend. Not all of us have been blessed with parents that are financially sound. Dont get me wrong, i always had everything i needed (ie. house, clothes. food, basic education.) but ive always had to get things i wanted on my own. If your hungry enough youll strive right past this hiccup and it will simply make you a stonger person. Imagine that day you get your degree that youve accomplished completely on your own! Be a self made man. dont look for help or hand outs. Being young and forced into a new situation can be very overwhelming. but if you can keep focused and do what needs to be done, this surely wont stop you! Best of luck dude!
The loans really aren't that nasty. Also consider that if your mom flew off the handle and did this once, there's nothing stopping her from doing it again (maybe even over something completely different). Sounds to me like debt might actually be a more stable solution in your case than relying on your mom to take care of that.
I don't think whether you achieve your goals or not depends on your mother or her opinion but since you live in her home you should respect some things. Apologizing was thoughtful, now just give it some time, we all know mums tend to overreact (throw fits) over petty shit. Good luck man.
That's terrible advice, about the addictions I mean. She'll make you go to a crackpot counsellor or addictions worker who will cost you money and do nothing to help you. Even worse she could try and put you in rehab if she's that fucking stupid. As far as making her realize she's making a mistake, tell her she's being stupid about this. Tell her its going to be a lot worse when her kid is a dropout who smokes pot as opposed to a college graduate who smokes pot. TL;DR Tell your mother she's overreacting and that she's ruining your life for no good reason. For gods sake, don't tell her you're addicted.
Then move the fuck out why live with your mom especially if you can't smoke don't claim your addicted and blame it on weed maybe educate her on cannabis change her outlook compare it to alcohol.
If you decide to move out your literally throwing away at least 100,000 dollars make up and move out after college
Someone could argue the same about goin to college nowadays! Record number of college graduates that are unemployed!
Get out and get a job and support yourself. Tell your mom that you enjoy weed and don't plan on quitting. Or, you can quit weed and be a mommy's boy for her money and her roof. The choice is yours. Good luck.
She is definitely over reacting. Do you live i a state where it's legal medically? If so I would bullshit something about it. Anyway, taking your college fund just for smoking pot when you're legal is pretty fucked up imo. Kicking you out is understandable, but that's going too far. Worst part is if you never end up going to college she'll prolly tell you it's because you're a pothead when its mostly her fault. Anyway good luck with that op.