MJ and MY panic attacks

I feel like I need to say somethings and hopefully those things can help out other people in my situation. The reason I feel my post is worthwhile is because there are tons of people who are, will and have experienced the same sensations. This will be long, too. But hopefully this read can help others.

I was smoking regularly 3 times a day for about 2 months. Then, out of the blue when I smoked some Sour Diesel (as you can see, this isn't even highs) and after having a totally stoned, great convo with my friend I started to panic. My chest started to hurt and well I thought I was going to die as a result of a heart attack. I went to the hospital and everything checked out fine. They essentially told me "Yeah, we get tons of males like you who think they are having a heart attack but in reality it is something else". They also knew I was high at the time. They figured the pain could be caused by the act of smoking. Or that I may have an upper respiratory infection.

I still had my doubts. During finals my diet went to shit. Didn't workout and didn't get much sleep. I figured I was stressing my heart somehow. At this point I was scared to toke it up again. However I did want to believe it was an infection that would go away. I do remember having pretty bad coughs yet still smoked. I waited a few days and I felt I could smoke again. I started to freak out again at this gamestop I went to. Stepped outside for a bit and came back in and made my purchase. Att his point I thought it could be the weed. I gave it to my brother and he smoked it just fine.

I wanted to blame the weed. I wanted to stop smoking completely. Gave the rest of my weed away and threw away my piece. I said I was done. However the thought of having a heart attack was still in my head. So when I went for walks (thinking this would increase my heart rate) I began to feel anxious. What is it? If its not the weed, then it my heart.

I have to say that I'm a pretty anxious person and can sense when things aren't right. I guess it is because I over analyze things too much. I decided to do an intense workout. If it was my heart, then I was going to feel pain as is tries to pump blood. Have to say the workout felt great lol. Felt a lot better afterwards too. I felt like I could toke it up in peace at this moment.

This is where you really want to read, if you are reading...

I knew what was wrong. I didn't want to admit it. 3 EKG scans said my heart is ok, x-rays said I'm fine and when I don't think about it I feel fine. I realized what was going wrong after discovering that I was having panic attacks all along. New Years day I bought some edibles. They got me high as fuck and I had a full blown panic attack. There is real pain too. I really thought I was going to die. However because people mentioned that my previous attacks were panic attacks I decided I would do some research. Everything matched. Once I realized I was having a panic attack, I felt more calm. After about an hour of reading and watching videos, I was able to relax and enjoy my high.

If you ever had a panic attack you know they suck and you don't want them to happen again. And depending on who you are, you might worry about them more than others. I am that person.
My sister is sick, I'm in my house more ever since college semester ended, felt pretty down when I wasn't high, had depressing thoughts when I WAS high. This is all mental. However mental thoughts can translate to real physical pain.

I went to the doctors yesterday and was pretty much diagnosed with anxiety. They prescribed me some pills but I'm not taking any. People don't die from panic attacks (unless they have PRE-EXISTING heart conditions) and that is something I need to ingrain in my brain. I ate another edible last night and this time I only felt my test tightening. But the whole time I told myself I'm having a panic attack. I was able to eat some nasty munchies (which I refuse to say lol) and then get a good nights sleep.

I felt anxious even before eating the edible. If you think about having an attack, then chances are you will have a panic attack. What I believe is going on is that my body, currently, does not like the THC in my system. Because of prior attacks, and currents anxious thoughts about weed, my body thinks it needs to protect me. I think the first chest pain feeling I ever had was brought on by smoking but then it manifested into panic attacks because of the fear of having a heart attack.

I want to conquer this anxiety. By pushing through the pain. I don't want to take any pills, I don't want to talk to anybody (even if this helps, like now), I just want to get back to my normal state. Countless of stoner just give up, by quitting. They are too scared of the attacks. I'm not going to continue eating these delicious edibles (if I must say lol) just to get high. No. I'm going to keep getting high so get rid of this retarded fucking fear. Sometimes the body takes control for the better, but just like in the real world, eventually YOU need to step up and take control.

 

Thanks for this. Been a long fan of Joe too.

 

Kind of an update.

I'm back to eating and smoking cannabis without any worries. Pretty much just toughed it out. Even though I was nervous I decided to get high anyways, I got over it.