Mitch Hedberg RIP

Discussion in 'General' started by DJchronic2, Feb 21, 2009.

  1. "I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
    -Mitch RIP
  2. hahaha yes it is hilarious...

    but hes been dead for quite some time now man
  3. #3 DJchronic2, Feb 21, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2009
    he just had the posthumous release of "Do you believe in gosh?" a few months ago, and i thought his quotes could make up a hilarious thread.

    "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap."

    "Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults"

    hahah the shits so funny.
  4. "Do you think when the guy came up with the idea to invent a bong, a black light popped up over this head?"
  5. HaHaHa! Now thats FUNNY! :laughing:
  6. on another note, one time i actually saw an escalator that was out of service, and my friend, who i KNOW has never watched any standup comedian, much less mitch, goes 'dude i dont get it wouldnt it just be stairs now?'

    hes a deceptively wise person i guess
  7. I'll never forget one time in high school, my buddy bought Strategic Grill Locations and we drove around listening to the entire thing...just like a totally captive audience, laughing our asses off (and this was before any of us smoked weed)

    Great material, unique delivery
  8. Ahhhh Mitch.. hilarious guy.

    Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

    I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

    I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.

    The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
  9. “I wanna get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender … all you do is say what the shit does, and add ‘-er’. I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. ‘Hey, what does that do?’ ‘It keeps shit fresh.’ ‘Well, that’s a fresher … I’m going on break’.”
  10. man i think i did the same thing.only it was with my older brother and his friend.good times good times.
  11. "When I sit in my hotel room and i come up with a joke, i write it down. but if the pen and paper are to far away, then i have to convince myself that what i thought of... ain't funny."

    "I wish they made fajita cologne, cause that shit smells good."

    "My belt holds up my pants, and my pants have belt loops that hold up the pants. What the fuck's really going on down there??"

    "I told the crowd last night to fuck off, but then I felt bad so I said, 'All right, fuck back on.'"

    "when we were on acid, we would go into the wood, cuz thers less chance you run into an authority figure. We ran into a bear. that was even more of a buzz-kill. my friend Dwayne was standing there raising his right hand swearing to help prevent forest fires."

    Just a few.
  12. Mitch was one of the greatest comedians ever, in my eyes. I don't care if he wasn't old or classic, whatever... Mitch was the shit.
  13. damn I need to learn myself up on this
  14. Awesome comedian! It is very sad that he died.
  15. I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to, too.
  16. I actually assumed he was still alive, so this does come as news to me.

    I wasn't really a fan though, to be honest. I mean he was funny and had great talent, just not my style.

    I'm more of a Don Rickles fan.
  17. "I feel like a duck's opinion of me, is based on weather or not I have bread."


    I am glad someone made a thread about him, to me he was always one of those more low key comedians, but definitely one of my favorite. I cant find my favorite stand up of his, i think it was an hour long special, where he just sits on the steps of the stage and look down?
  18. "I really love the Fedex driver, cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it!"
  19. "I got an ant farm... them 'fellas didn't grow shit."

    "Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck."

    "I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? "Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is a.k.a. a hallway. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware. Do not decorate it."

    RIP Indeed. He was one of my favorites.
  20. I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly

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