So I sometimes wonder if I'm sociopathic or, at the very least, borderline. I calculate, I manipulate, and I throw up the warmest fucking smile you've ever seen and shake your hand and feel nothing. The best way I can describe the way I feel is like a novocaine shot, sort of deadened. Except anger. That one I can feel. A rage...at people and having to cater to ridiculous niceties. Social contracts confuse and irritate me. I fantasize about disemboweling people I meet, often with no real catalyst. Everyone around me seems temporary. So what dyou think? Strangely, I'd feel more comfortable with a label, I think. I did warn that this was long and a bummer.
maybe youre sick, maybe you can take some drugs that could do something. But dont sell yourself short; even if you have a killer instinct with a capability to match, who's to say it cant be controlled. Those are your options, seek help, maybe go live with a bunch of retards in a nuthouse (just joking), or stay out in the wild but be nice and dont hurt anyone. Theres no compromise in that regard.. you cant elect to be part of our herd and then turn around and fuck us. We're trying to have a civilized society here. Theres been so many killers, it really means nothing anymore. LIke that little phaggot a few weeks ago.. long forgotten already.
Not to be a debbie downer but that sounds pretty fucked up to feel like that You should seek someone you can talk to on a regular basis ya know to vent before it all builds up too much, a neutral party that can hear you out I hope op doesn't do some dumb shit to some innocent people Shit like this makes me nervous about even stepping foot outside my front door
Thats not a long post at all. Also, a Socialpath is someone who doesn't feel empathy and completely lacks the regard for others. To be diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder, you must have been diagnosed with Conduct Disorder ( sociopathic behavior as a minor ). If you can't feel empathy other people then you may be a sociopath. Personally in my opinion, the fact that you posted on here and are worried about being one, shows that you care about other's opinion , and I don't think you're a sociopath.
Everything you described sound like very normal thoughts that happen to everyone at some point in their life... Except maybe the disemboweling part! You just might be the next Dahmer!
I don't want help. I'm not looking for "someone to talk to". I'm curious. How do you deal with not feeling, if there are others here like this? It's exhausting. I can mimic emotions relatively well, except crying. That one I just can't do. I'm an excellent actor, but none of it is genuine. I would try to assuage concerns and tell you that I'm not a dangerous person, but I am, at least insofar as I have less...compunctions than most people. I imagine feeling the blood of people around me between my fingers. There is, however, one "anchor" for the moment; my girlfriend. I don't love her, but my head is quiter around her. I'm not a true sociopath, then, I suppose. Perhaps borderline? Or maybe there's an altogether different diagnosis or label. Again, simply curious whether anyone else here is similar.
\tSociopath traits Superficial charm and good "intelligence"\t Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking\t Absence of "nervousness" or psychoneurotic manifestations\t Unreliability\t Untruthfulness and insincerity\t Lack of remorse or shame\t Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior\t Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience\t Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love\t General poverty in major affective reactions\t Specific loss of insight\t Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations\t Fantastic and uninviting behavior with drink and sometimes without\t Suicide rarely carried out\t Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated\t Failure to follow any life plan
Everyone has thoughts of harming people in one way or another. if you just think about it, then it is called a healthy fantasy. It's only when you start taking steps to live a fantasy are you showing problems. like 99% of people have the inhibition to sort out good from bad with these though.
Also I should point out that Psychiatric evaluations are still VERY young. When someone gets Diagnoses with a mental illness it isn't like being diagnosed with something like cancer or diabetes. they cant scan the brain and say oh yes its Ptsd or Bi-polar. What happens is they get a list of symptoms. With this set of symptoms they judge the persons personality and base treatment off of the two. Ever notice people who switch physiatrists always get different diagnoses? Well that's because the diagnoses its self is based off the symptoms and what TREATMENT the doc would like to take. you could see 10 different people in one day and have 10 different diagnoses. it all depends on A) what symptoms you tell the person and B) which coarse of treatment the doctor would like to take.
Oh. My. God. I've felt EXACTLY like this for a few years now and felt so alone. HOLY FUCK BRO I will explain my situation tomorrow when I'm on my laptop and able to type easier cause I'm on my phone right now. Mind = Blown. One step closer to the truth. I'm seeing a psychiatrist but he sucks and isn't able to help cause he asks all the wrong questions and doesn't quite understand me and just put me on antidepressants.
Well, you wouldn't be a very good one anyway. What kind of sociopath goes around asking people what they think?