I came out to my best friend recently...... So we went to our neighborhood bar tonight and my buddy comes up to me and tells me this story about this dude who was drunk and made a move on one of his other friends when he was really drunk So my friend was like use or gaydar and lemme know if he's gay, I talked to the supposedly gay guy and I totally thought he was gay... Wanted to hook up with him but didn't cause I'm not out ta the closet and in my neighborhood itd be looked down so I dont know what to do.....really wanna hook up with him but don't wanna risk being caught up in bullshit for being gay
Hook up with him without making a big deal about it? (assuming the guy in question is down, anyway, lol) Just tell the guy to be discreet because you're not out, and he probably will. You don't have to tell everyone around that you brought a guy home to bring a guy home. Unless they actually see him walk into your house, they won't know he was there, and they certainly won't know what he was there for unless you say. Why would your neighbors notice who comes in and out of your house? Are the really nosy or something? If you live in an apartment building the same applies, just don't have loud obnoxious sex, and nobody will know or care. You can have a friend over without being suspicious. If you have, say, a new friend over every friday or saturday night, or bring home friends that look like male strippers, people might notice, but you don't seem likely to be doing either.
Then why prolong the inevitable you (nice word)? Be gay, and rock that shit. Or cower in the closet and not get what you want.
Sorry about being unnecessarily adversarial. I thought you were one of the "hehe...the OP wants dick GAY!" trolls who wanders into every thread about anything gay and points out sexual orientations cause they think they're being funny. The OP said he couldn't come out of the closet fully because of where he lives, and I believe him. Most people would be happier coming out (and I'm glad I did), but it isn't an option for everybody, because large sections of the population are still irrational about it.
Haters are everywhere.... Sitting in the closet is going to do nothing but breed hate for OP's surroundings, of which he probably has some sentimental value. I've seen it happen a to a few friends and its a jaded road for no other reason then maintaining an "image" that you falsely share with those you have grown up with. If they can't handle the real you then what use are they? Its going to end in a shit storm whether they hate you, or you live in your shell long enough to hate them. Either way it involves some obviously drastic changes, the only real question is if OP wants to lie to everyone else and be true to himself or truly be himself. IMO fuck this dude, screw the neighborhood, and prep for the bullshit. It'll make you happier in the long run.
There are some good things about having gay friends. They attract girls for some reason. On top of that you don't have to compete.
Sometimes, it's not always the easiest thing to do though. He could be risking a great deal bringing that information to light. I don't think it's necessarily fair to say not coming out is cowering. It's just far too complicated for such a black and white answer. I say, don't push yourself. In my case, you could say I tested the waters. Gradually, I let certain people close to me know. After I built up enough courage, I sat my parents down and went for it. It's just something you have to let yourself figure out, but just don't do it before you're ready.
Thanks for the advice guys. Yeah, it was really fuckin cool last night, my best friend whom I recently came out to went to the bar and were totally looking out for each other with potential partners for the night. Only diff from any other night is that he told me about this gay dude and was being my wing man so I can get laid... But it wasn't that easy... I think next time I see this guy I'm going to get his cell number and when we happen to be at the same bar I'll hit him up quietly and tell him I wanna leave the bar with him tonight I'm almost certain he gay... He tried to hook up with a half passed out drunk friend when he was really hammered, telling him like come on let's just do it after walking into this dudes room in the middle of the night And at the bar last night we kept checking each other out and shooting smiles back and forth, felt like a teenager with a crush lol... Really upset I didn't make a move but oh well, next time I will.... It'd be great to wake up after a night of drinking and having a hot guy in bed with u