Might not be the right thread for this but maybe it is. Spoiler my brain won't stop racing and self doubting and I'm feeling manic again. I feel like my medicine just isn't working right and I've been tempted as fuck to relapse back to bad habits (cutter/trichotillomania, and some other self harm issues) just to deal with this overflow again. Instead I've just been kind of faking it in between bouts of crying. my guy hasn't even noticed and I'm ready to to crack. ...fuck this I'm going to try to knock myself out for sleep.
This is the thread for that. Just try and hang in there Miss. Anytime I get a little manic it's usually from lack of sleep, so sleep it up. You should tell M how you're feeling too, that way if you do burst it's not a surprise.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Marcus Aurelius. Peace and Loving Kindness to you.
After a few too many hours in my head, and getting back out some therapy technique items I haven't used in a while, yeah. I'm feeling rather decent compared to my other post. <3
You can always talk to me about it.. You're not crazy, you're kind and, so patient. I'm greatful you snapchat with me and, your a truly sweet person. That's what I think. In my book your a fantastic being and I love you.. You reached out and I wanna reach out back to you. Hugs. Don't harm that beautiful body. You don't need physical pain unless its for tattoos.. Please seek more help as well. You can get through this without harm. Edit: *Get
Welp the anxiety may never stop but, everyone else thinks I'll be okay. So I'll try to roll with that. I think too much. Hopefully I'm proven wrong and I'm okay.
You're thinking way too much. For some reason you're assuming that the way things are now is how it's going to be forever. Did you have panic attacks before? Not to this extent. So why assume you're gonna have panic attacks forever? GIVE IT TIME! "Its all the weed you smoke!" "It's all the alcohol you consume!" Yeah, maybe... OR You're just getting older. Many psychological disorders don't show themselves until your early 20s. You've always had this condition, you just didn't realize it until now. You should just look at it like it's the universe's way of telling you you're not young and invincible anymore. You're gonna have to take care of yourself. Your mental status is completely irrelevant. How you currently feel is completely irrelevant. The stress, the heart rate, the stomach pain. None of it matters. YOURE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Going to college? You're going to have to take care of yourself. Starting a new job? You're going to have to take care of yourself. Losing a job? Losing a gf? Your parents died? Nuclear war? Take care of yourself. Eat food. Drink water. Sleep. Having a panic attack?... Did you eat? Are you hydrated? Have you slept 8 hours in the past 24 hours? You can listen to people that don't struggle at all with their own minds, or you can listen to me. Nothing fucking matters other than food, water, and sleep. That's the root of any mental illness. Until you get that shit on lock, you're fucked. You cannot move forward until you know your basic bodily functions are met. You were young, now you're not. You're gonna have to do things you didn't have to do before just to remain functional. Food. Water. Sleep.
Well its nice to know its manageable at least. I've always had troubles with some form of destructive behavior even as a small child. From what my parent's have told me. It started with overeating and playing video games for days straight as a result of not fitting in anywhere and seeing my dad drink and smoke with his friends. I always seemed tense even in pictures. Then I discovered pot and alcohol at 14 and 15. Didn't stop since till now. I just chose to try to drown myself in other activities to avoid trying to getting through my anxiety and depressive states. I ran away from all my problems cause I figured it would pass. I figured I could just skate by through every issue by numbing the pain away of being not good at anything or not fitting in or getting bad grades. If I had a problem, alcohol and cannabis and eating was the solution to me. Then just like that my body and mind now isn't having it and now it seems like the world is ending in my head. So yes your right I've had tendencies. They just haven't been delt with and, now brought to the surface because of having to grow up. Which was going to happen. Just is hitting me like a nightmare.
Just now noticed this thread. I have Bipolar an had since iwas a little girl. I get really good mood sometimes but then it can change really fast and I get super depressed Lately ive been feelin it worse then usual and its been affecting my husband and kids because they feel bad for me an can't do anything about it Anyways I have an Appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday and I might have to get put on stronger medication or something. I just hope it gets fixed or something idk if Bipolar even counts as mental illness and im kind of embaressed to be admitting it. I j/w if anyone else has this problem? ~Toni~
Ooh! Me! I have bipolar disorder too! We're bipolar buddies! I always get real down in the winter months too, seems like spring is the only fix. I've bumped up my mood stabilizer, but it doesn't do much for depression, mainly just keeps me from going full blown manic.
Lol Thanks Papa. Manic is a good word to describe how ive been to. Defi not been right lately. I hope I can get help on Monday. Do you hate your self when you start feeling crazy as well? ~Toni~
I dont hate myself until afterward. I've got the bad kind of bipolar with "delusions of grandeur," I think I'm God or the second coming of Jesus Christ, or at the very least enlightened. Honestly I've never been happier when imbfull blown manic. But it's unsustainable and it's a big height to come down from. Afterwards I realize how fucked in the head I actually am, and it sucks.
hmm well I feel you mon that must be pretty bad. with me when I feel in a good mood I think I can do absolutely anything but when its bad I always bring down my family too and that's why I start to hate my self. ~Toni~
I love that "I can do anything" feeling. But yeah, when it's bad it's bad. I've pretty well given up on the thought of starting a family, it's hard enough just maintaining a relationship let alone raising kids. Hang in there girl.
Thanks Papa I will try lbvs. You hang in there too! I might be feelin different about tings after Monday I hope. ~Toni~