My condolences to you. Stay strong! Your here for a reason even if things seem shitty right now. Someone else on this planet needs you too. Hang in there brother! *Growpa Sent from my HUAWEI MT7-L09 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I'm so sorry about your dog. I am really pissed that I am not getting notifications for this thread. I have to look around and figure out if I need to subscribe or something. This thread is important to me. I remember when my dog died. I had no idea she was so sick. She died in my arms. She had a bad heart but I thought the vet would give her heart medication. I was as sad as I was when my husband died. I hope some day you'll feel better and go where you can adopt another dog when you're ready. Dogs love us so much!
No particular reason? Is it the dark winter hours? That always causes more depression for me. I am assuming you're taking your medication. I hope you feel better tomorrow.
Its the winter hours for sure, happens every year. But also, my nephew was being a brat and I'm starting to lose hope for him. And there's a girl I who is usually available to chill but last night she was hanging out with "a friend". And yeah, I'm taking my meds... But it's kills my libido and my erections so... I guess she derserves a guy that can make her feel good, and I guess I'll just be alone. I hug, just depends on the day.
also, I saw my 93 year old grandpa get choked up and start crying. One of my cousins got way into unmentionables, past the point of no return. He signed away the rights to his children so they could be adopted by a family that can care for them. "I'll never see those kids again. Even if they were here I couldn't see them." (he's goin blind) This was the same man that saw his farm get leveled by a tornado and say, "aw shucks, it ain't so bad." It really hurt to see him cry.
That's really sad Papa! I hate the way unmentionables take the life right out of people. I know some myself who have had their kids taken. One of my friends is raising her granddaughter who is now 2. That's too much for a 55 year old! Have you spoken to your doctor about the libido issue ? I know most antidepressants do that but I've heard of people being switched to a different one and the problem went away. It's worth a shot to talk to him about it. You probably already have.
Fuck me, I feel like I'll never escape this pit of darkness. Nothing tends to go well or as planned. Its all just "okay" or "will do". No real hopes or dreams or love. Life passes me by while I'm fucked up enough not to think about the shit hitting the fan. I can do okay in school now, I always feel like I'm trying seek something I can't have. When one thing is fixed another goes down the shitter. However I can't say I'm at rock buttom just yet as I still have some stuff materialistically thankfully. I horde clothes and paraphernalia and cards mainly. I don't why I post I guess because, I subconsciously wish I was somewhat approved because of the lack of approval I never received in my life. However at the same time I don't expect anyone to try to help me. I just like ranting for some reason I guess knowing someone might be able to relate helps. Thanks.
Sandman, you are very well liked in PYT and all of us care about you. I wish you would stop drinking. It's so bad for you, emotionally because it's a depressant. Have you ever considered AA? I went to NA for years when I had to quit smoking because of my daughter. There is a comradery in those rooms that is like nothing else.
But even when I quit who will be there for me? My blades thankfully online. I guess my brother but, he's always drunk too. He's an enabler as well. But, also why am so cared about I'm so negative at times. Why am I not outcasted any way here? Y'all aren't doctor's or therapists. I don't get it, I believe in y'all cause your better than me. I suffer from a horribly low self-esteem issue as well. Never really could get through it. Your a very kind lady and, I need to thank you once again for reaching out to me in a "breakdown". I know it isn't easy to deal with the mentally ill. I don't know where you learned that patience though its sure is a very nice quality. Meanwhile I have not so loved traits.
Got bipolar 2 and PTSD from being beat badly when I was 3-9 by a step dad who put me in the hospital 3 times. At 3 he broke my nose and jaw on the he moved in because I weren't call him daddy. My childhood was all of terror and beatings . As a adult not knowing anything about mental illness I self medicated for many years till I got put in the mental hospital and spent the next 2 years in a outpatient program and the next 10 years trying every medication known to man .In between that time they took my kids away because being on meds. made me unsafe they said then they kick me from my home and made me homeless.So I lived on the streets even though I owned a $350,000 house which my wife lost because I was allow there to babysit well she worked . I've in past years have tried to get work but somehow the companies all knew about my mental history . If I post something online that's anyway out of the box the FBI is at my house taking my computers .I've don't have a police record so I don't understand why Im drawing so much attention or why I been blacklisted when I try to get a job. I am on SSD and my scores were very low at time I was award my SSD . My score was a 33 anywhere in the 20's your insane unable to take of yourself must be hospitalize a danger to others . 70-100 is normal everyday people with everyday problems. But now I know I'm much higher than a 33 you think they give me a second chance but it seem once you been scored it a done deal. If this country would just 10% of the money it puts into drug rehabs in to mental health there would be programs out there for people with mental health problems but sadly they don't . Over the last 20 years they cut just about all the funding to mental health. You can't get into a mental hospital unless your killing yourself on their doorsteps because their all filled with junkies . Remember Obumacare and that saying you get to keep you old doctor .Well that was a lie my sic. doctor of 20+ years dump me because of Obumacare leave me doctor less to this day. Lucky my family doctor agree to fill my meds. till I can find someone to pick me up .lol
That's a sad story bro. I really can't understand why the "greatest country on earth" doesn't have equal healthcare for all their citizens. (Well, actually I do understand and that's one of the reasons I'm an expatriate) I remember in the 70's, when California closed most of the mental health facilities because it "costs too much." All the in-house patients were released to the streets And most became homeless. The new mental health services in the USA are called jails and prisons. I wish you the best man. Keep your head up. Peace and love Sent from my HUAWEI MT7-L09 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
I am 25 .. and I have suffered from anxiety and depression (severe in the latter months) for the last two years. I totally agree with these coping mechanisms. All have been so helpful to me. I am not 100% out of the dark but my last few weeks have been so good. I have meditated and taken me time, sought someone to talk to outside of my family and opened up to my family more than I have in quite some time. It felt good. It felt so cleansing, like a weight was lifted. I struggled sleeping at night due to my anxiety, smoking a little before bed always put me right to sleep. Especially after a long day of work. Otherwise, I was up all night or until 2-3am. For a long time before this last little bit, I was medicated. One was an upper and one a downer, both always hitting me hard when they kicked in, as I am 110 lbs. Both improved the issues they were intended to, but both also made me feel like crap. One cramped my appetite, severely, and the other left me groggy in the morning, or even sometimes oversleeping. Again, I am not 100% out of the dark. But I’ve been happier and felt more my old self the last few weeks after having done these things. They’re good for you .. depression and anxiety or not .. and sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. I know this is just the beginning for me and I am running off the high of feeling good, but I am determined to make it continue and I am sending you the same confident and positive vibes!! Know that others in your position are out here thinking of you and wishing you the very best. You’re never alone. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
I'm on psych meds I don't need but I have to take them. I'm not the most mentally healthy person but definitely not as ill as my diagnosis suggests. I guess I'll just keep taking the meds they say I need as long as they say I need to. What does an anti-psychotic do to a person who doesn't have psychotic thoughts to begin with? My experience has been nothing...
For me it's basically preventative. My "sleep aid" is a low dose of an anti-psychotic. It does help me sleep, basically knocks me out. The actual anti-psychotic mechanism that floats through my blood afterward is just a lil bonus to keep me docile. My mood stabilizer is what does most of the heavy lifting. Sometimes I don't think I need it, then I taper off and find out yeah, I totally need it. Night 1 back at my moms. Homelessness evaded. I guess I do own my truck, I'll never be all that homeless... Anyway. Goodnight.