Started out very young in life with manic depressive disorder and personality disorder. By twenty-one diagnosed with schizophrenia. Few years later labeled as schizoaffective disorder and major depression. That's where I am today. Pleased to meet ya.
Hey I may or may not have the same diagnosis. Going to find out for real soon. I have pretty bad anger problems, depression, paranoia, just a general feeling of unwellness, loneliness to the point i'm going insane (lack of sex or affection will do that to you), and sorta feel disconnected from myself. Maybe it's a consequence of smoking weed since i was 18 but sorta feel like something never connected in my brain. You just never grow up. Sadly it's had disastrous and destructive consequences. To which some might say why still smoke but if the damage is done and it helps me feel better, fuck it.
Gotta tell myself its gonna better today. I can't change the past or the dumb shit I've posted here but, I can change my future and try to become better with time. Yeah people will see my dumbass posts and judge them but, that's my fault and only I can help myself in the end here. Gotta count the positive shit I do have. Like all the wonderful blades that responded with kindness during that mental breakdown. However we all know the best people are kind to you even when you're at your worst. Edit and also add: I hope I can be a good person one day. I hope my friends value me the same way I do them. One day I hope to not have anger issues. One day at a time tho. The people who've accepted me for the way I am I truly thank. Sorry in person that I can't look you in the eye for very long or pick up on when its time to say goodbye or not stem sometimes.
I can't wait to start my new job. I'll hopefully be able to afford a therapist. I still miss that autism specialist I went to as a kid. She was always supportive of me. I wonder if I can get one like her that specializes in adults with high functioning autism like myself.
Got a text from my dad. Or at least his wife... Sorry dad, dont wanna talk, just wanna punch you in the face. Cant punch you in the face, cuz you're so pathetic it might kill you. Not trying to get a manslaughter charge... So the silence continues. Don't worry, once I collect myself i'll be happy to rip you and your wife a new asshole (verbally). You're just gonna have to wait. If you die, well thats tough. You should have been there when I needed you. I dont need you now. Fuck off.
If u can simply eliminate the ability of other people to make YOU unhappy, YOU have achieved more than a lot of ppl. Don't let no 1 live rent free in ur hed. Charge them mfkrs, w/ interest and sales tax that bites em in their pasty ass. A wise man once told me two things, if the ppl around you bring you down, simply eliminate them from your life, and two, never cry over a woman.
Damn as usual my autistic ass didn't get it til you explained it. But yea now it makes sense. If a women was there for us we'd probably not cry at all. Thanks papa and Bob marley.
So I Been Having This Feelin At Night When ima Bout to Pass Out Sleep in That My My Hearts Stops Moving well Anyways My Maa Took Me to My Doctor a Few Days Ago an He Basically Say it Happen To Me Because I Be Having Anxiety Attacks Getting my Self All Worked Up About it. Basically He Say It All in My Head. Has This Happen To You Guys Ever? It Dont Feel Imaginary to Me tho NGL ~Toni~
Yea I Can I Move Right After an it Always Freaks Me Out To Where I Wake Up Again. I Not Been able to Sleep Much Lately because I Worry it Will Happen again. ~Toni~
We are not able nor equipped to deal with any situation where suicide is even mentioned as a possibility. While I feel for you, as the Administrator of this site I have to offer you information on getting help and then shut this thread down. We can't, shouldn't and don't accept any liability for your actions. We can link you to a site where you can get help, though. Talk To Someone Now You will find this number: 1-800-273-8255 You can speak to someone. The site also offers an option for chat. There is also a crisis text line: Home Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, anytime, about any type of crisis. A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds, all from our secure online platform.The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment. Here is a link for several crisis lines: Crisis Lines - Now Matters Now Blades, please report threads like this immediately before you engage in any kind of conversation. Thanks...and good luck to the OP.