Meeting another girl doesnt seem in the stars for me..lol

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by SqueezetheGrape, Jan 1, 2013.

  1. I dont think im a terrible guy. I was in a very long shitty relationship with a girl who was my first love. but after dealing with the bullshit i had enough and ended it. that was last February. almost a year ago.

    Since then I have not talked to one girl who was romantically interested in me or been on one date. I always thought that it would just "happen" but i realized that you gotta actually go out and find it. no girl will magically fall into your lap.

    But even after i realized that i had to talk to them and go out and meet them..i was still too afraid. mainly because i had no confidence. and i just dont understand how the female mind works. that sounds a bit ridiculous i know, but it just seems like "game" has never came naturally. its been a long difficult process of trial and error. and i have only made a tiny bit of progress.

    I thought "hey i will start working out. maybe that will help with my confidence". and it did. i put on some weight and look a bit better and feel better too.

    So my roomate wanted to take me to the mall to approach some girls for numbers. he wanted to get me back in the game. but i didnt have the courage to approach any. i have a mental block in my head that i cant get over. not only am i afraid to shatter my ego, but im also automatically thinking that even if i get a number, ill probably do something in the future to fuck it up. either that or ill just end up an option of hers thats not taken seriously.

    its like...im just an option to the many guys who try to chase the girl (and lets be honest, the average girl has at least 2 or 3 dudes tryin to get at her) so why waste my time with trying?

    I dont know how to be the alpha male that makes the girls chase me..its almost like certain dudes have the cheat codes to making women want them and ive always been the many of the dudes whos chasing women hoping he gets his lucky shot.

    and thats why i havent even tried to talk to girls since my breakup..i assume the worst...but i just cant seem to play the game correctly. im not a social retard..but theres something im doing wrong...i guess im meant to be single. :(
     

  2. no...
     

  3. this doesnt help me at all. stop trolling
     
  4. gotta figure out how to get them to chase you. but i havent figured that out yet myself lol
     
  5. i recently heard the phrase "hung like a grape" and so now when i see your name, OP that is all i can think of.



    also please have some respect for Mr Vandalay. he was a very big importer back in the day.
     
  6. #6 Zera, Jan 1, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2013
    Damn, a lot of trolls on this thread.
    Let up, ok?

    OP, you may not have the best game, and you may not end up sleeping with that cute girl over there if you go talk yo her. But you know what? If you don't go meet her, you definently won't sleep with her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and in this case, if you make the venture, you can't even lose anything but a few minutes of your time.

    Don't worry about "what if she rejects me?" bullshit, or worrying that she must have tons of other dudes chasing her, so why should you even bother. Don't even worry about chasing her. Just take a step back, stop getting ahead of yourself, and relax.

    Hell, don't even be chasing the girl when you just walk up to her. Just go meet her first. That's the important part. You're getting all freaked out about whether she might want you before you've even met her yet, and using that as an excuse to net even meet her. Quit cockblocking yourself, man! At least give her a chance to reject you, instead of just assuming the rejection will happen.

    Look, you have absolutely 0 chance with a chick that you never meet, that you never talk to. Once you've met a girl, now you've got a chance. Don't even worry about chasing or persuing or wooing right away if it makes you nervous. just start a conversation. About anytihng. Just meet her for christs sake. If you have this much approach anxiety, it'll feel great to just prove to yourself that you can just go out and meet a bunch of women. So just go and strike up conversations with every woman you see at the mall. Once you start talking, then you can flirt or do whatever it is you do, it's just easier.



    Also, my advicefor when you do approach girls: approach women with the mindset "lets see if she's worth it." Then decide if she's good enough for you. I know this seems weird, but fawning only ever got pussy from really insecure bitches, and it's just makes you look like a loser to a girl who doesn't need it to prop up her self esteem. So try not to approach her with the idea "I really like this chick, shes beautiful, I hope she doesn't reject me" approach with the idea "I wonder if I'll like this chick. She's beautiful, but I hope she's not boring." Throughout the whole interaction, you are the prize. You want to meet her, but you haven't decided if you like her yet. If she can tell you're doing this, instead of mindlessly trying to impress her, then something amazing will happen. She'll start trying to impress you. Trying to get your attention. You want to know why girls fall for assholes? Because when the asshole first walks up to her, he doesn't fawn over her like a seventh grader, or get all shy, he acts like he's the prize. In the asshole's case, it's because he thinks he's the best thing ever.
     
  7. Thank you. Now im going to go develop my superiority complex.

    But seriously good advice +rep
     
  8. i have felt that way before. makes you feel like you were lucky to have that one girl because you can't do better. but, when you were with her, for some reason you had the attention of other girls as possibilities

    i resolved this issue by simply not giving a fuck. everyone i have ever been close with besides my parents has fucked me over to some degree. treat everyone with respect, but i only care about those who are willing to care about me

    most relationships are a trial. it's about finding out what you want in a girl and how you want to be treated. in my opinion it's very immoral how two people can disrespect in each other when they are in love, although i have been there as well

    if you really want a girl you have to know yourself. don't try to be someone else just to gain the attention of women and hopefully find someone. love feels great but the only girl who deserves it is the one who cares, not someone you have to waste your time chasing in hopes that she will feel the same way eventually
     
  9. Youre on weed forums....weed cures social anxiety for me. Rejection feels pretty good when youre high
     
  10. girls are people too. and are probably just as unsure of shit as you.
     
  11. Ok first off you sound just like me, as I got out of a relationship last february and have yet to get back in the game.

    I was in a shitty ass relationship, long term. I was actually engaged to this girl until I couldnt take her manipulation any more. She left me several times to date other guys and always came back, and then was suspiscious of ME. Finally I was like enough is enough, your the whore, not me lol.

    I then took the next few months to get to know myself better. I had some wonderful psychedelic experiences, and I realized that yes, I WANT to be with someone; I dont need to be with someone.

    I agree with you about how every decently attractive girl has 2 or 3 guys chasing her tail, in this day and age you gotta be on top of your game, because most girls could land just about any guy.

    What helped me OP, was just forcing myself out of my comfort zone. If im buying something, I make small talk with the hot cashier. If im at work I make small talk with girls that pass my way. What im finding is that the more you do it, the more you realize how retarded you were for being so scared.

    Women share the same consciousness that you do, and while some may be more prone to emotionial turbulance than others, they are all human beings with the same insecurities and shortcomings as you.

    Have I gotten into another relationship yet? Nah, im still pretty scarred from the last, but if the right girl comes my way; You bet your fucking ass im gonna chase some tail.
     
  12. If you really want to get attention of women, you must have your self confidence.
     

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