First of all i want to say this is NOT something that happened to me but something i read on another forum and thought that maybe you guys would like to hear this i wont be offended if a mod deletes this cuz its that bad he killed a dog for godsakes poor dog Meet the parents AKA the worst night of my life Meeting your girl/boyfriends parents for the first time is a recipe for disaster and possibly the worst experience anyone can have. Yesterday i met my girlfriend's parents and ended up losing her, becoming the families most hated person, ruining their carpet, her mothers dress, my shirt and new £100 shoesAND killing their dog also i spent an hour in a cell. Adam Sandler eat your heart out. I bet you're wondering what happened. It was going pretty average durring dinner with only the minor mishaps that always happen no matter how hard you try (minor comments that are unjustly exsadurated into insults, no matter how much you clean yourself and your clothes the father asks " can you smell smoke?", etc). Then we went into the lounge to sit, have some wine and continue with my interrogation. While we were talking their dog settled by my feet without me noticing. A few days earlier the dog had just had a big operation and still had the stitches across its chest and belly. After about 20mins my girlfriend went to the toilet, leaving them to close in for the kill. It happened just as i was having a sip of the red wine, the father asked the worst question to be asked when your all alone with the GF's parents for the first time........"Have you had sex yet? I was so suprised that i spat out and spilt my wine all over myself, causing me to stand up all of a sudden. In the same motion i kick the dog hard in the stumoch, busting the stitches and lodging my foot halfway inside the poor thing. Before i knew it the father was pulling my foot out of it and the mother was trying to keep it still. Just as my GF enters the room to see what the screeming and howling was was about, my foot come out aswell as most of its digestive tract which covers the mother and the carpet. My GF came over and tried to help the dog while the father had hold of me and was kicked out with enough obscenety to make the creators of south park blush. So i was walking home in wine and blood soaked clothes when a police car drives by and notices the forementioned stains and takes me in to the station where i tell them the story and they throw me in a cell while they go round to ground zero and colaborate the tale. An hour later the guard says i can go with a big smirk on his face (I guess he heard about what happened), i sort out the paper work (after the night i had and spending an hour in a cell, they make me fill out and sign 4 pages of crap) and guess who is waiting for me infront of the station....... My girlfriend. In order to wrap things up here's what she said: 1) The dog is dead 2) her mother is distrorte 3) her father is fucking pissed 4) she is distrorte and fucking pissed 5) I better pay them some money for stress and damages or they'll sue me for more than i'm worth, press charges and tell the cops that i smoke and grow weed. 6) I should never go near her parents (their house/street/etc) ever again 7) If i hadn't of guessed already, we are not going out again 8,) And finally she gave my my shoe, which i hadn't noticed i had left it in the dog. She went on her way and i settled on the bench at the bus stop. The bus came and i went to get on but the driver turned me away (seeing the blood, my size and the expession on my face (a mix of shock/horror/depression/why me and a bit of bemusement)) saying he didn't want to take the risk (probably thought i was drunken yob on drugs who had just killed someone). So, a 5 mile walk later, i get home go straight to the bathroom and vomit till nothings left, strip off and have a long shower in an attempt to wash the night away. I get out and have a look at my clothes, since about 4 hours had past the blood and wine stains were dried in (completely unwashable) and the shoe's leather had started to be eaten away by the dogs, so i bined them. Since i was never going to get any sleep and the events were really starting to sink in, i grabbed a bottle of vodka, the six pack of bud in my fridge and the couple of joints i had in the draw and smoked and drank my problems away. I woke up at about 4 this afternoon with a huge hangover, the memories of last night, a bad back and aching foot frome walking so much with only one shoe on (did you really think i put it back on?) and about 20 phone and txt messages from friends who had heard and want to pity me/congradulate me/tell me off/hear if it was really true and one asking if they had left their keys round mine. Well Thats what happened last night, the worst night in my life and yes it is true, it did really happen and i will be having nightmares for the next 5 years. If you can match that experience i feel sorry for you and i will personally go to you and buy you a pint.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAA Fucking hilarious. When you're in a situation like that, all you can really do is laugh.
having had dogs all my life and had some dogs pass away that i loved, i really dont think its funny at all, i just feel bad for the dog.
yeah it struck me as pretty hilarious except for when the guy killed the dog that was wat made me cry cuz i love dogs and like i said this didnt happen to ME and if it had i would probly be in a mental ward cuz killing a dog would drive me insane also i would like to add ive known my g/f parents for a long time and they love me and want me to mary her lol kinda ironic huh?
dude, omg, i pictured the whole thing, cept the mother had big tits and was naked... you know, im high, gotta find something in it... anyways, yea, the dog made me wanna barf... i saw it all from your point of view... wow, intense story, im sure ive had some like it, but im too stoned right now
Damn, thats disturbing. I dunno wheather to laugh or what, heh. If anyone is good with computers and animation, I'd like to see a quick little animated version of that. Thanks.
Shit what an unlucky man, he must have been havoing really really bad luck that day. I mean all that happening in one day, so so shit...But damn funny.
like i said this didnt happen to me thank god if it had id have broke down and cried when i kicked that dog
That is the fucking most craziest insane shit ive ever fucking heard. since im a fucking stoner i can just fucking picture that shit when im fucking gone in a puff of smoke and laugh away. that dog was pretty grusesome shit tho...i pictured that too...MY MIND IS SCARRED!!!...but everything else is FUCKING hilarious...if it was me id always a bag of weed i woulda blaze the whole way home and just laughed at everything! SHITTY LUCK BRO! Peace...
Dude they are coming out with a new meet the parents too!! It's called meet the fockers!! hahhahhaah man that would suck dude!! What kind of parent asks if you had sex with their kid!?!?
sucks. but my question is what kind of a douche bag gets that upset over the question. it's awkward yes, but not enough to make you kick the dog. i can understand being startled - but standing up and kicking right into the hole? dumb...ass. as for "can you smell smoke?" when you probably hadn't smoked that day was probably aimed at how the guy looked. probably clearly a stoner.
My girlfriend's dad asked me that question once. She had told me before that he smoked pot, but he didn't know she did. So one day we were on her bed and he walks in the room and starts talking to us about summer school and shit. Then she gets up to go to the bathroom, and leaves me alone with him. Now I'm nervous... So he asks me the question... "So? Have you guys been fooling around?" I tried to play it dumb but it didn't work, he just came out with it: "Have you been sleeping with my daughter?" I'm thinkin' shit how do I get out of this one?! and then she comes back in, and I think I'm saved. But he asked her the same question, and she looked surprised to hear it... So I broke up the conversation "wanna smoke a joint John?" and they both looked at me like I was crazy! I almost shit my pants, most awkward silence ever... then he says "If you got one, why the hell not? Just not inside, your mother will be home in an hour."