Married and smoking

cant say i can exactly relate to you since im only dating a girl who has a problem with my consumption. she smokes with me some (about once a month) and is generally fine with my choice, but i can never talk to her about weed. i love this plant and all aspects of it and just want to share my feelings with her (no homo) but she always gets so pissed when i bring it up. im planning on starting my first grow (outdoor) this spring but that just gets her all riled up. her only concern with marijuana is that its illegal and its so frustrating. shes fine with every other aspect so it pisses me off when she wont even talk about it

oh well, im done with my rant, just more of a reason to get the legalization process going. but goodluck with your girl man, just tell her the stress she causes makes you wanna toke up more than ever haha

 

I never understood why girls get so upset over smoking like it changes anything for a guy to smoke for 10 minutes 1 or 2 times a day.

 

Man, my girlfriend always use to bitch at me for smoking. I'd always get the "I don't like the smell" thing to, so now I just use my vaporizer and I light up a candle and she never complains. But she will still complain even if I only take 5 minutes to smoke one bowl whenever she is visiting because "I'm not spending enough time with her"...

 

Sounds to me Derka that she's got some insecurity issues going on. Why do you need to babysit her every moment you're together. That's too attached at the hip for me man. Self reliant girls are the best. Have their own friends, aren't retarded, end up with good jobs and usually are smoking too.

 

Seriously, my bff who lives in WA is going through that same thing right now. I sit at the sidelines and it's very hard for me to understand partners who give "ultimatums" and wont' meet halfway. My bff had to quit or lose him. She did and she will be fine. She had been smoking for a year but she admits, only quitting since 3 days ago that she was an abuser of her herb. He knew in the beginning but she "sold him the idea" by saying it was medicinal for her. She had just got out of a marriage, got out of the military, left her daugher in Nor cal for a few months to get settled and she quit smoking cigarettes after 15 years. She replaced all her vices with herb so she smoked like a chimney. Everyone has to quit at sometime for some reason. I say quit and give it a year. Your commitment should be to your wife first. BUT, if ater a reasonable time, year or not, if she's still setting limits on other things. . . . bust out the bong, it means it's you and not the weed. Cut your losses and let her go, no one stays married forever anymore, it's a near impossibility.

As for me, I started smoking when I was 15 off and on till i got married and had a kid. I quit to raise and have another kid for about 15 years. I am married for a year now to a guy who doesn't smoke and did some when he was younger. His body just over reacts to the weed and he doesn't like how it makes him feel. I smoke whereever and whenever I want because he knew in the beginning. I started smoking again regularly when my daughter was about 15. She found out and I never hid it from anyone again (LOL, except my parents, LOL) I WILL NOT allow anyone to give me ultimatims if they knew ahead of time. You don't get to change your mind on me in mid-stream. So my life is good and I smoke responsibly, good luck.

 

dude you gotta learn to lie. lying keeps a relationship together trust me. just wait til she goes to bed at night and then go fry your brain in front of a movie or something. if you cant at least wait til dark to toke up you may have have a problem. if you cant at least wait until both your days are completely over you might as well divorce her and marry your bong. or get help. mary jane is never as comfortable as a best friend forver.


(wow i am high as hell)

 

roll up some really nice lookin' blunts and joints and put them in some kind of fancy wooden box (with a nice cigar scent to it), buy some nice fancy pipes and some good tobacco

head to your library, pick out a good book like Frankenstein, sit in your most sophisticated chair and toke up with a sexy look on your face while reading

 

You got to look at the bigger picture here.....she knew you smoked and grew before you guys got married.........and now after marriage she is trying to change you........change you into the type of man she wants.........I have got to ask if you have something that other people would like to have........I ask this because she did not married you for you,she married you for what you have.........Think about it,if she married you for you then she would not try to change you.......Their are alot of men who do not smoked weed and probaly think of it the way she does..........I have come to learn that if you really love the person you are with you should love them for who they are and not what they do.........So if she is trying to change you she is really trying to change you into a man she can love..............If i was you i would cut ties now befor the leo gets involved.....and they will if you keep smoking....peace to you my brother.......By the way i have been married to a woman for 10 years and when we got married she knew i smoked and she knew i wanted to grow........and she was okay with it because she loves me and she trust me not to do anything stupid to jeoerdize our family.........My wife does not smoke are drink..never has....but she has trust in her husband....... thats part of love brother (TRUST)

 

This is a wise person.....If you stay leo will be called ....mayby not for the weed... but for the loud voices.

 

Aint it strange that you never hear of the man in the relationship complaining that their wife\girlfriend smokes too much ? Lol.

 

I agree with Zynix's post, definitely

The best way to go about this is hearing her out. Try to understand her reasoning behind everything, but also make sure that she tries to understand you. You guys are married, things like this should be discussed mutually.

You said you're not sure what to tell her when discussing, and that's understandable. Maybe an easier approach would be simply asking "why". Or figuring out why. Once you hear her out, you'll know what to respond with. I'm sure you're a smart guy, as others have already said, counter her reasoning. Inform her and ease her into the history behind herb.
Let her know that you understand her, but you would like for her to understand you as well.

Good luck with everything let us know how it goes

 

lol its down to your first love Mary to your wife hmm sounds like wife wars but serious note just keep it on the dl try not to keep reminding her and theirs a time and place for everything also if your planning on having kids growing may be a very bad idea especially in your home it hits a child hard getting taken by the police from their family and noone wants that good luck man

 

i think all the posts before me cover it all =p i hope it all works out, or if you already talked to her, i hope it worked out..later man, i'll rip one for ya right now incase you cant ;[

 

But, if you still want to smoke in the week, im sure she goes out without you sometimes? Or is at work when you're not? Just smoke then lol.


Is she willing to try it with you? My husband and I smoke together. This was not always the case. I did smoke a tiny bit before we were married. Like a total of 7 times, 4 months before I met him. He wasn't smoking at the time either. He would occasionally smoke with a friend with my blessing. I was really uptight about having anything at our house because of our kids.
This past June a couple of our friends came over. I have relaxed quite a bit since the beginning. The kids were in bed and we were hanging out in the backyard and moved into the garage and we started smoking again. I didn't realize how much it would help me with some of my issues until that moment. We've been regulars since. We don't smoke without one another. It's one of our special only adults time and it's pretty darn awesome.
Just sit down with her and ask her if she'd be willing to try it one time with you, maybe she'll pick it up every now and then too.

 

i love smoking with my wife.

 

The situation is a very complicated one.

Part of the reason that I'm posting here is because I'm tired of all the whipped guys saying "oh my god! the outrage! you actually wanted to stand up for yourself?? of course quit weed right away because your wife is more important!!".

Horrible way of thinking. It's not about the weed - it's the principal. What if your wife didn't want you to watch a tv show you like because it was violent, or didn't want you to hang out with one of your friends because she thinks they're a bad influence? You can't just think in terms of "oh, well that TV show is not important but my wife is so why wouldn't I just stop watching it?" It's so stupid to do that, because your partner should not control you down to the last thing you do. I know he's married so you have to make more sacrifices there, I'm not saying not to compromise, but you need to stand your ground, too.

I personally think she's being unreasonable with you because she knew you smoked before you got married. If she says it's unhealthy then ask her if she'll be fine if you use a vape. But either way I would be really pissed if I was in yoru situation because she shouldn't have gotten married to you if she doesn't like you smoking, she KNEW.

I don't have much advice for you because I'm not saying divorce her over this, but you can't just change yourself because your partner wants you to be different. This is espeically true for guys with girlfriends, in a marriage there is a lot at stake. But if she is limiting what you want to do you'll begin to resent her anyways.

If you actually ARE smoking too much and she wants to help, I'm all for that if you want to spend more time sober. But if you think you're living a balanced life, and she's bitching, then I don't take that stuff. I'm not trying to act badass, but with just a girlfriend who is she to judge you for your smoking? Personally, I don't smoke THAT much - almost everyday but I'm not high like all the time (but this seems like A LOT for a non smoker). I'm perfectly happy with that and think it's in good balance. I've spent a long time researching weed, and came the conclusion that I'm not harming my body much and that weed is great to enjoy in moderation. If a girl I'm seeing starts judging me for smoking I flat out tell her to stop judging me, I'll do it if I want and if they aren't happy then they can walk.. The ones who let you be who you are are the keepers anyways, AND girls like it when you stand up for yourself and let them be in YOUR world, instead of being a little pussy and conforming to every little thing she wants (this is meant for the younger tokers who just met someone new, obviously in a marriage it's different).

Good luck and sorry for the long post..

 

co-sign

 

Women come and go, but mary jane is one girl that will never leave you or treat you bad.