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Married and smoking

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by SilkkNLPc, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. Hey all,
    My wife and I have been married for about 1 year now. I smoke alot (24/7). My wife does not smoke. My wife did know before we got married that I smoke, and that I used to grow.

    My wife doesn't want me to grow - which I can understand.
    My wife doesn't want me to smoke anymore...which, I do not want/am not ready to do.

    Im not sure what to tell her when we get into "discussions" about it. We are both very professional people, herb doesn't get in the way of things I need to do. I enjoy smoking.

    I would like to start growing again, mainly because of the cost and quality associated with buying. I dont think she will let that happen. I dont really want to divorce her, so, I need a peaceful solution. I have stopped smoking in the mornings and over lunch on weekdays, but still smoke all day on weekends. This doesnt seem to be enough.

    What can I do...what can I say....
    Thanks for any comments, or just dropping in and reading :eek:
     
  2. just like u said that u both are professional people, that the herb doesnt get in the way with ur work and or social life and that it helps u relax and not worrie about the shit that has gone on that day. about the growing idk maybe have a good friend keep ur babies at his place maybe? idk
     
  3. Weed is not more important than your marraige. She doesn't want you to grow because she doesn't want to get fucked over if the cops come. And you should find out why she doesn't want you to smoke, try and counter her arguments and convince her, but really, if she doesn't want you to you should just not smoke at home and whatnot. She's your wife, way more important than weed.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Maybe try to find out where her negative feelings towards weed come from. Let her know that it doesn't get in the way of your daily tasks, or change who you are. If you're a loving husband and you share life goals and dreams, then a little weed should be the LEAST of her worries.

    Good luck, hope everything works out for ya! :wave:
     
  5. i would just try to talk calmly and figure it out. By the way, i love your avatar, wish i could get a hold of some nice TGA seeds. Seen some impressive strains in their collection. Good luck with the talk, let us know!
     
  6. "the never enough thing" at this point you just really need to make her realize you like smoking
     
  7. Don't you think that might have been important information to share BEFORE you got married?
     
  8. i agree wit bong u had 2 know she felt this way b4 u got married either u lied about smoking 2 her or ur headed down a rough road my friend . im just glad my wife smokes
     
  9. All I have to say is grats. You've made it further than 75% of the american people. :hello::smoke::hello:
     
  10. I recently got divorced after 10+ years of marriage. When we met, smoking out was our largest common interest, we both smoked 24/7. Over the years, she had a few pretty severe panic attacks (from smoking too much) and started slowing down, and eventually quit. Not a big deal, we had been married 4 or 5 years at this point and had a good enough relationship that we didn't need that common interest anymore.

    After some time had passed, she started complaining that she never got to spend any time with the "sober" me. I tried to understand where she was coming from, and so started holding off my smoking till 10pm on weekdays and 6pm on weekends (I have insomnia, and all the meds I've tried, both otc and scrips, had side-effects I didn't like; weed doesn't). This worked for a few months, and then she started getting on my case about having felony amounts in the house (I always bought oz's), so I had to start getting smaller amounts on a more regular basis, which she knew was a hassle for me. It just went downhill from there, I quit a few times and restarted, she called me a criminal and all sorts of nasty things just because I smoked pot.

    But that's not why we got divorced (weed), her behavior in that area was just one more thing she could hold against me. I just wanted to outline my history in this area of discussion before I try and give any advise.

    During our discussions about the "sober" me, I had eventually conceded that being high 24/7 constituted abuse, there's really no argument there. I now believe moderation is best; I get high off less bud, gives me something to look forward to after a hard days work, helps relax me a bit more when I really need it, healthier for me, more productive at work, etc. So I might suggest making a concession here for your wife/family. It wasn't even hard for me, since there's no real physical addiction. Find something fun to do together and it'll be smoke time before you know it. You'll be healthier and be building your relationship with your wife/family. Just a suggestion.

    If she really wants you to quit completely, that's a little different. What reasons does she give for wanting you to quit? If her motives are health related, buy a vaporizer and do some research together with her; THC really isn't all that unhealthy. If her motives are law-enforcement/legal issues, I would ask if you live in a MMJ state, or are capable of moving to one. This would pretty much nullify this argument. Maybe just researching MMJ states laws and their views on the subject (and why/how it was made illegal in the first place) together might be enough to persuade her that it's not that big a deal. The cops/feds don't target the small time smoker at home, they go after the big boys.

    Which is a great segue into growing as well. In a MMJ state, you may be legally able to grow bud. Otherwise, research exactly what the penalties are in your area for growing, there's a cut-off (probably a number of plants) that dictates how bad of a felony it is. In some areas I've lived, the penalty is much less severe if you're a first time offender and had less than 25 plants. The powers-that-be tend to go after the big boy grows, so as long as you're really stealthy about it, talk about it with noone, you can (relatively) safely grow 2-3 plants for personal use, imo. You just need to discuss with your wife if the risk is worth the reward, and try to make a fully informed decision. The only ways a small indoor cfl/LED/150wHID grow can be busted is by smell and loose lips (imo), keep that in mind. Go the DIY route and you could easily start saving quite a bit of money with very little investment, as an opening argument.

    Eh, just my $.02.

    Good luck man,
     
  11. this is whyi married someone who smokes weed
     
  12. Dont get divorsed over weed, you really need to rethink your life if your willing to give up your wife for a plant.
     
  13. That's what Zynix did. And I second his great first post about reducing the amount you smoke and maybe she will be more accepting.
     
  14. The biggest mistake you can make in a relationship is getting with someone you like, but they aren't quite perfect. So, you figure you can mold them to suit you. This never works.

    (I hope you realize this was a plan of hers all along.)
     
  15. All i can say is STUFF THE WEED. Ok, you love weed? But what'd you love more? The weed or your WIFE. As everyone else has rightly said, your wife is way more important the weed, jeez.. i have no idea why you'd even need to ask? :s

    But, if you still want to smoke in the week, im sure she goes out without you sometimes? Or is at work when you're not? Just smoke then lol.

    But dude, come on.. i've had to cut down for my girlfriend.. ( she didnt ask me to stop, just to cut down) So i did, i hardly ever smoke now.. but i dont care, personally i feel better when im with her than smoking weed.. But thats me.. you might enjoy the weed more lol.
     
  16. something i learned about women, they will ALWAYS get their way
     
  17. You can try to fight the good fight, but in the end, you'll end up either hiding it well, which is what I did for a while until I decided that I really just didn't give a fuck anymore and started doing it openly again. Fucking that shit. Raise that strong pimp hand, cock it back and to the left, and swing that shit down and to the right at said sucka.
     
  18. It's not about the weed, It's about control. Your wife wants to control you. Do you feel good about that? will you accept it? Ask her to give up something you know she enjoys that isnt "healthy" and trade with her for 6 months. You quit pot and she stops watching TV or something If you catch her cheating just smoke bud and if she says anything call her out for her hypocracy. Even The Bible talks about contentious women...
     
  19. Everything here, one of the best intro posts I've read.
    +Rep and a complete agreement on everything he listed, sounds reasonable, but if she's going to force you to quit, eventually she's going to get her way unless you resolve your problems somehow and come to terms.

    I only hope I can find a husband that tokes one day... :eek:
     
  20. my advice is if you dont want to get a divorce and you dont want to lose your wife
    1) try to get your wife to try smoking, if she sees where your coming from, maybe shell be less critical.
    2) if she is stubborn about you quitting and wont try smoking, try to work something out like just not smoking at home.
    3) if its still an issue you have to make a big choice, quit smoking, get a divorce, or keep it a secret. Im not advising you to keep secrets in your relationship by any means, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.
     

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