Bravo. I like that you have found the narrow path into the inner realms of "thought" - where the true battle is fought and warriors are made. I like also that you thought to share your journey with others - as a loving response. Keep seeking and spending more and more time in your "reflective" state. Ask for wisdom and seek to understand the Truth about the power of real love. And watch how your life and the people around you change to match your new levels of understanding.
I agree with some of what you've said, but I must be honest and admit that there has been times where Marijuana actually enforced my ego instead of dissolving it.
The present is fragile. It can be lost at any moment without notice. The ego closes the shades of the window to the soul with thoughts, words, pictures memories, future memories, anything really, to distract you from the present moment. I met with a high profile client recently. I knew we didn't have the pedigree or industry experience she would expect, so I decided rather than tout our services or offerings or brag about past case studies, I would share my Presence with her. Since becoming about 80% present, I feel the need to capitalize that word all of a sudden. I suppose it now has a deeper meaning to me and should be represented as such. After all, if I am truly present in this moment, this moment is my life. And this moment is all there is, ever. Now. So I showed this new found presence to my potential client and we had an extraordinary meeting, for an hour. We clicked. We covered the necessary details of the project but that was not what was driving the meeting. it was the fact that we were both present in the moemnt discussing a way to make her life better via helping the company she works for. My focus throughout the meeting stayed on helping her, the woman in my office representing some company that can give me money. I was present, with this woman, discussing this business and connecting. And it was good. And now we submit our proposal and hope she goes for it. And if she does, there will be a follow up to this note. here will be proof presence can be effective in business situations. I suspect that whether or not I get this account, I have learned the power of this new simple idea. Be here now. Be here now. YOU need to be here now.
Superman- Since embarking on this journey a short time ago I have reduced my thinking by about 80%. It turns out that 80% was mostly repetitive garbage. It was nonsense and usually negative. Whats left is mostly clear, peaceful silence filled with happiness. This isn't permanent however, and negative thoughts still force their way in during moments of lost clarity. I do not know if it is possible to get to a place of 100% presence and still maintain a functional capitalistic existence, but thats the idea. Not the goal. Please keep posting in here, your story is inspiring to all. Keep doing you.
I love your term "a loving response". I find myself wanting to share my new found enlightenment wiht everyone i know who has anxiety. I am pretty sure they all think im just on another kick that will end and be replaced by somethign else. A friend told me I hd tunnel vision right now. But within that tunnel vision is such joy and happiness and clarity that I heel as if I have been in a tunnel my whole life and have finally broken out. Thoughts?
It seems that way doesn't it? As if the tunnel is no longer there and all angles, all spectrums are now present. Even if your "tunnel" has only widened by 10% it's a huge change to your "default" consciousness. As for myself, I've been worked on my social anxiety for only about a month now and it's fucking PROFOUND to not care what people think - or may think - or to let yourself go into a conversation, say something perhaps outlandish even when you don't know exactly what's going to come out. I was the type where I was CONSTANTLY judging, reacting, holding on to this stupid belief as though people knew what I knew and thought what I thought. It's amazing how all is solved with awareness. All you need is to be aware of what you are doing...let it happen and feel out whatever it is that comes. That is the lesson you are to learn from. So do it, learn from it, be open about it and don't shy away no matter the pain. I feel as though much of society has some form of anxiety. You're never alone people.
You know what helped ground me? I had rehabilitated a wild bird that became a dear friend to me. She was tiny, so much ao that i could barely feel her on my finger nor my shoulder. I tried to empathize with her, she didnt seem to have a care in the world except food and water. It seemed so simple, she was exactly what she was suppoaed to be, free. She roamed the house but was otherwise not in a cage, until she put herself in her cage to sleep. It was fascinating looking at this minuscule bird, fragile, harmless and yet so consistently herself. Even if i was having a bad day, she could bring me peace. I felt torn keeping her in the house when she should be outside, doing what birds do. She got out once but i was able to get her back, the second time she got out, i was not at home. I was selfishly upset, but happy for her. I have no idea how long she survived on her own, but the lessons she had to teach me were already impresses upon me. I have a whole new outlook on animals now, i think we can learn a lot from them if we are open and observant. ⚡
I think you guys might enjoy this Podcast 431 – “That Voice In Your Head” | Psychedelic Salon Podcasts ⚡
Dude I think maybe talkin to someone or letting it all out in this forum would help you in the long run more than smokin weed would. I use weed to sleep all the time when I can't stop thinking but just using marijuana just so you don't give a shit anymore? That sounds unhealthy. That being said if what's workin for you is workin then have at it my friend. Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
I am not looking to not give a shit. Just the opposite. I am looking to give a shit about everything.
They are one in the same my friend...he who possesses nothing has everything. The idea is to care about everything equally...you'll never be disappointed
UPDATE: It's almost 7am and today is pay day for my employees. The thing is, I do not have the money in my account to pay everyone. But I will. I am confident checks will arrive today. And if they don't, I am confident the world will not end. This is a huge revelation for me. Months ago in this situation I would have been sick with anxiety. Now, I don't feel my most relaxed but I am open and optimistic and positive. I do not have a loud voice telling me I am going to fail anymore. I am present. And now is all we have. This moment together, right now. I have made some amazing discoveries through this journey to the present and I would like to share them with you. My next post will be a simple explanation of God.