is it alright to grow male seeds and smoke them or can you only use female. and if so how do i tell which is which
You cannot smoke males. The only high you'll get is a headache. See the Sexing thread for details on determining gender.
You cannot tell the sex of a plant just by looking at a seed bro. If that were the case, growers would not waste their time with growing random bagseed or whatever only to find out its male. The best you can hope from with a male is 1-2 grams of hash after you make blender hash with it. If you just smoke the leaves and stems you'll just get a huge headache.