Major Confidence Problems

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Green Plant, May 8, 2011.

  1. Hey grasscity, I don't post on here alot but I lurk and i know this is a cool site and whatever.
    So i thought i could post this here.

    I have very low confidence and I'm very shy. I don't like talking, talking to new people or socalizing very much.

    I feel like I've turned my back to the world basically and I regret it everyday but I don't know how to change it, im very socially awkward and its hard for me to talk to people.

    Just some background on my life: I played sports throughout highschool, I was a really big strong kid (worked out alot), i stopped talking to my dad when i was 15 or so because he couldn't take my awkwardness and my constant isolation from my family.

    I used to smoke alot of weed mostly bymyself then i dabled into pills and i really liked them but i dont use them very often because i know they're addictive. Now i rarely smoke or do any type of drugs. I only had 1 girlfriend which was in middleschool, and I rarly ever speak to girls anymore.

    If you have any comments or any advice/questions that would be appreciated thanks.
  2. [ame=]YouTube - Using every moment to awaken - Ram Dass[/ame]

    [ame=]YouTube - Wisdom from Suffering - Ram Dass[/ame]

    [ame=]YouTube - Lil B - Remember The Name (MUSIC VIDEO)DIRECTED BY LIL B[/ame]

    and especially,
    [ame=]YouTube - Lil B - Its Alright Remix BASED FREESTYLE VIDEO[/ame]
  3. I dont quite understand the first vid
  4. Don't sweat it. I don't really like talking to new people either unless I have a lot in common with them.
  5. im the same way op. forcing myself to talk to people just feels really weird

    apparently its social anxiety, but im not interested in going on medication for it. perhaps you are?
  6. no man, im just concerned about my own life not being what it should be

  7. your life will be whatever you make it. there is no "should." let life come as it may

    if you have big dreams for the future that you feel your anxiety will get in the way of, then its best to rectify the problem now before it gets worse. a therapist can help with that
  8. ^this is what i think but i dont know if i can go to a therapist
  9. I have the same exact problems, its not too uncommon bro, most of the time it stems from negative thoughts flooding your mind, thoughts about what other people think or how you look, but you just have to learn to tune them out. Its not hard, just try replacing them with positive, reinforcing thoughts that can calm your anxiety.

    Its not like every single person is going to try their all to look down on you or judge you, they just want to go on with their own lives.
  10. Somewhere along the line, you were told you were somehow "unworthy", and you bought into it! Time to stop that foolishness!

    Shyness is basically a fear of rejection. Let me ask you- are you a good person? You haven't robbed any widows and orphans, or committed war crimes lately, have you? So why would anyone reject you if you are acting half-way nice?

    And we all feel awkward in unfamiliar situations- just some of us hide it better than others! ;) So hold your head up, smile, and look like you feel confident (like the rest of us do when we are freaking inside).

    Hon, my best advice is to forget about you and just try helping others. Go volunteer at a local food bank- most of the folks who work in them are in their 50s and 60s! A strong pair of arms will be much appreciated! [​IMG] They will happily accept you, and help you to see what a good person you really are.

    I think you will find that by helping others, you help yourself!

    Granny :wave:
  11. I've been noticing this myself. And its REALLY awkward for me because I'm typically an extrovert, but lately I've been more introverted. So I want to run around outside and sing songs and meet new people, but I also enjoy my own company in front of my computer keeping to myself. It really has me conflicted.

    Do you have a base group of friends that you can go and hang with, or are you a loner for the most part?

    It's important to remember to just beee yourself! :hello:

    [ame=]YouTube - Go Jump Off a Balcony[/ame]

  12. true that
  13. I feel kinda the same way..

    I mean i still talk to girls and my friends but really i dont talk to anyone new...
    once in awhile if i meet someone i talk to them the first time i meet them and i can
    never move onto that second stage of beccoming friends/girlfriends.
    Its like im good at getting to know people and talking to them but it seems like
    ive almost lost my ambition to meet/talk to new people. It almost seems like a waste of time.

    Latley ive also been smoking alone, just being alone in me it feels good.

    my tip is: Find one or two really good guy friends that you can chill with whenever and just have good conversations with you know?? You dont have to go around worrying about having a lot of friends you have to keep in touch with and if there really good friends there will be no need for anyone else.

    and for girls same thing, find one girl you really like and just break out of your shell for that one girl..and things will take off from there trust me. Stop looking in the mirror and getting down on yourself. Go look in that mirror right now and go "damn im one sexy ass mother fucker"

    This song is perfect man just listen to the lyrics in the song man there beatiful.

    [ame=]YouTube - Brother Ali - Forest Whitiker[/ame]

    Ima be alright, you aint got to be my friend tonight, you aint gotta love me
    and ima be okay, you will probably bore me anyway, you aint gotta love me :smoke:
  14. You don't need to see the rapist. Therapist have a high rate of suicide so why tell someone more fucked up than you your problems. Just remember this when you feel uneasy in a crowd. You may not be the richest, smartest, or best looking guy there but your not the poorest, dumbest, and ugliest motherfucker there either. We are all born equal into this world so fuck everybody that thinks there better than you. In reality most people in this world think just like you but they hide it. When I walk in a room of people I may not be the big dick of the crowd but by god I act like I am. I'm a legend in my own mind. You can be too.
  15. OP, your post is exactly the one I've contemplated posting myself many times. I'm very introverted, and since all my old friends were extroverts, I don't have very many anymore. It's hard to explain to them what it's like to have anxiety and paranoia, and when I tried all they said was "wtf? No, I've never experienced that, what's wrong with you?" It can seem frustrating, just know that you're not the only one.
  16. ^^^ Damn you just joined and you already have 3 rep bars?!!? thats intense.

    but anyways post anything you want on GC noone judges and theres many of people that have the same situation as you.. and we understand better than friends, because a lot of friends just judge..

    Some people just dont like to deal with others people bullshit, they just want to be alone with themselves.

  17. I agree with this 100%, it really helps. You also might have social anxiety disorder, which is when you have a fear of being in social situations, such as public speaking and talking to new people in general.

    Good luck with your situation:hello:
  18. I'm a really introverted person and I don't really talk much around people I don't know well. I'm not an awkward person most of the time, I just really don't enjoy talking just to talk. I hate parties and having to go to almost any social function. I absolutely love being alone, but that doesn't make me a fucking freak or a loner. I have about 7 or 8 friends who I am really close with, and that is totally enough for me.
    I used to get really down on myself all the time about being shy and not wanting to get to know people, but now I realize I am just an introverted person. People ask me why I'm quiet, I just say that's how I roll. I'm a real philosophical dude, and I'll share my thoughts and feelings with you when I get to know you. Extroverted people are like a different fucking species to me. They will share every detail of the their life with me like I actually care. It's like, just shut the fuck up, man. Enjoy the silence.

    You should embrace being introverted. People's opinions don't matter, only your own. Find a few close friends who get you, and you will be happy. Never change yourself to fit into a world that isn't worth being a part of, man.
  19. OK man, yeah I've had some social anxiety my entire life so I know how crippling it is. The only real way to combat it long term is to confront it at it's source, and practise talking to people.
    Like seriously, practice is the key - you may be thinking "I don't need to practise taling to people, its a basic human skill", but you will find that the more you do it, the more your life will improve. People like a sociable person, and before you know it you start to enjoy little conversations with random people.

    So yeah, go out, and force yourself to sit and talk to somebody, instead of taking the easy way out and chilling on your own. Remember, I'm speaking from experience, and my life is a lot better now.

    In the short term, slow, deep breaths are very useful at combating the anxiety, I know this from being in plays.

    So yeah, good luck man, things will be better soon
  20. this may sound ignorant and even a little bit impossible to someone in your shoes (no insult intended) but try and develop a small sense of cockiness.

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