Made my GF crack about hooking up another guy.

My girlfriend of 2 and a half years has been texting this guy day and night always picking him up and always doing things for him. Flirting obviously I told them both to stop they agreed. I also asked to look through her phone to see their conversations, I was very uncomfortable with what I read after her hesitation to let me read. Couple days go by it slowly starts to drive me mad. She got piss drunk tonight and while I was taking care of her I went through her phone. They hadn't stopped flirting in fact it got worse. She wasn't the one advocating the "let's cuddle" or similar text's but she wasn't pushing him away either. Obvious winky faces and hearts confirmed that not to mention the "okay". After she sobered up I confronted her about it. I told her straight up I looked through her phone because It was justified. I mentioned how they hadn't stopped flirting and what was really going I HAD to know. After much pressure she cracked to making out with him the other night but that's it she says..I believe it because it added up because there was another person in the room(or so she says) I doubt it went any farther. She hid it from me, I asked her why she did it and she said she didn't know what got over her. I asked her if she wanted me or him she said she didn't know but couldn't trust herself around him. After talking and a lot of tears we explained to each other why this was happening(I kept my cool this whole time) from what I understand she had the typical "We're really young and I don't know what else is out there I need to know for myself but I don't want to lose you if I'm wrong" I agreed to us spending a day apart for her to gather her feelings. But this was all at a get together where this other guy was at. He wound up being a super dick to her she got upset and he tried to call her over to him but she didn't go, she left with me to go back to my house to talk more. A lot of more tears shed she admits how much of a "stupid bitch" she is. She has a problem with pulling her hair. She explained how being with him that she wasn't doing it. She clings on to me telling me she doesn't want to lose me but I told her simply I can't trust her. She needs her own friends as do I we share a lot of the same friends. She says she never gets to do "Me" and wants to know what it's like. I cracked to her telling her some of my insecuritys and now she says she doesn't need the time apart but I had her make plans for tomorrow night without me. I don't want to be selfish and try to control her and keep her. But at the same time I don't want this happening all again. All in all I'm glad she just made out with him and nothing more. She vouches to be a better girlfriend and work on her issues I told her she doesn't respect herself at all. Sorry for this really long text but this happened over a long time span, from about 830pm to 1230am. I will added other details as they are needed.


TL;DR = I found out the obvious truth that my GF has been flirting with another guy pressured her and she cracked to hooking up with him. And I need to know what's best for me and her.

Update: I told her I needed time to myself.



I've never had to deal with something like this before I've never known this pain. I just want to talk it out with her so badly. I feel like I need her. She was all about taking time before this guy starting being an asshole to her. Do you think she learned her lesson? She's constantly tweeting that she's thinking about me that she fucked up. Our good friend told me that she stopped talking to this guy.


I'm going to try and paraphrase our text conversation. She says she really wants my trust she can't deal with this shes becoming a "fucking wreck" she says shes can't lose me. She doesn't want me to give up on her, she says if she has me she'll remember this one time that she fucked up and she'll never hurt me like that again. "I want to do it for you baby" She says that she needs me in the type of situations with other people otherwise she'll be "taken advantage of" She feels that she has to fix this or it will kill her on the inside to see the guy she loves so much be hurt by her she needs me and im the guy she wants to help her from herself..She says she's glad i invaded her privacy and she needed me to and im so right about everything.
she says she will do ANYTHING to gain my trust again. Has anyone been in this situation before? I'm going crazy.

 

I'm feel this to be true but I'm so 50/50 decision wise. So my thoughts racing through my mind.

I'm going to be fucking stubborn about it I know I am. I don't think it is good for my mental health but she made me so happy it pulls heart strings.

 

You're right I want to move on and it seems so obvious from an outside perspective but I have this what if in the back of my head.

I know if I get back with her I'll be crazy but I'm only 3 days in now and I think it might be getting better with time.

 

I have always sort of questioned her faithfulness throughout our relationship but I looked past it because she made me so happy. I don't want to get played again and I don't know if I'll be able to trust her 100% again. I have to see if she proves herself but posting song lyrics over facebook isn't very convincing.

We shared the same friend group unfortunately but some of my high school friends are back in town for new years so I believe I have plans tonight.


When we talked back at my house that night she couldn't stop rambling about how she was a disrespectful bitch and how could she be so blind to what she really wanted. She's trying hard to convince me she's sorry but Idk if that's because she got caught or she really learned something.

 

I hear that I think I need to go into the new year tonight a new. I just need to keep talking about it to keep my no contact going. When I get alone I start second guessing myself. But I'm fucking weak I'm a little bitch I don't want to be that person anymore..I have respect for myself It's not like I got back together with her just because she said sorry.