I'm starting to feel better ever since I just wrote down what I felt. Bottling everything up inside definitely was not helping. I come home from work to find tons of support waiting for me thank you everyone! This is truly what I needed..my so called "friends" would of never known what to say. To Gonjaninjitsu, AquaZero, AresKenux and MakinTreesGrow: thanks brothas. You do know how I feel! I will take all of your advice to heart. Really. Good advice is so reassuring when before it feels like there was none to be had. hurb1, is that possible? Sometimes I get caught up in pondering my existence, but I'm fairly successful for my age otherwise. I wouldn't take it any less serious. TharedHead, Maybe my brain is still in beta test mode Thank you for the material as well. I'm sure it's just a phase. Windchime159 and OldDaffy, after going over your posts, I'm very interested in learning more about Buddhism. DeepPurple and David, I have been laying off the green for a while mostly because I'm broke. Being sober is helping me stay a lot more focused. Haze720, Idk if I agree with the suicide thing, but I'm glad you found peace brother. Tyrelhaha, it will pay off if you keep working hard! I understand, I am a full time student and work close to full time hours as well. Our time will come soon enough I Smoke Urb, we can't mention that here but perhaps those did have something to do with my situation. mrgoodsmoke Yes, being busy keeps my mind from wondering off too far. If I were bed ridden, I probably would go insane. Everyone lending out just a few moments of their time really helps this fellow stoner get his head on straight. I hope anyone who can relate to how I feel can seek refuge here.
A lot of these responses are really good. Someone said you needed a t-break. I think that's a good idea. Life is a bitch as it is, but smoking makes it 10 times worse in my experience.
i like to call them post it goals, those yellow things get me thru the day. And as for the OP and the rest of of u guys who feel the same way i understand how u guys feel, i began to lose sight of my work and almost everything else in life because i was so obsessed with why i have felt this way and ways in which to improve it. i took a 3 week t break it helped, however it also led me to the conclusion that the problem exists within myself not the ganja (which was refreshing to discover). I think for me getting control of my thoughts and not allowing myself to go into a hole or snowball up negative thought and energy would go a long way towards brigning back the joys of life. I try to focus on the little beautiful things in life now, and keep in contact with my family and friends at least the ones that i know arent just people floating in the mist. Anyways, id like to try meditation and become more spiritual i feel as if its something my mind and body want me to do almost. Try to make the noise of life into music it helps. Then again i feel like i have typed this already and nothing around me is in existence. Makes for a good nights sleep.
kind of what happened to me. i concluded life had absolutely no meaning, which was the cause for my depression for a while. i'm still depressed, but the fact that life has no meaning is actually a comforting thought now... somehow i still can't break the depression though. and yes, like you, i think... a lot. about important and heavy things. ive been suicidal, and i also concluded that its something that happens the more you're veil of ignorance is lifted... the more you learn, the more you realize you can't be like everyone else. i don't think i could ever kill myself, but i've been wishing more and more that i was never born. idk, life's a gift and a curse, and i'm learning, trying anyways, to embrace the gift and rid the curse. death intrigues me, and not gonna lie, i look forward to it... but i want the forces of nature to bring it about, not myself
Hey man I went and I'm still going through some similiar stuff. What I would recommend is to just smoke weed ;D. 4 real smoke some super strong sh!t, listen to the most deppressing music, just to get you in that headspace and when your there ask yourself why you feel like this. I would also recommend you record yourself while high and do all this when your alone. Im also 19 and i actually lost my fucking mind I thought I was retarded, but then I realised everything depends on how you look at it. I know Im not making sense but can you just explain your story in more detail. Do you think people are fake? Do you wonder why people are so greedy, envious or two faced? Or even why they talk behind your back? That is some of the things I want to know, but I made peace with the fact that I may never know that. You just have to understand Smoke some weed and sort out your head go to that dark place, to rebuild something you have to destroy it first. Let the weed take you on a journey, oh and you should talk to your parents more even though you think they dont LOVE you, they always will. Dont become religious, really you'll just end up asking more questions. Boy you take life too seriously HAVE SOME FUN, RELAX. Have you ever just layed on a bed cuddling your girl while it's raining outside?? Have you ever stopped just to look at how beautiful the world is?? People get caught up in life's hustle, they dont appreciate its beauty. You shouldn't worry about what other people think, do or say, live your life to the fullest, I bet you they have more problems than you do. And by the way no one can tell you life's meaning, why?? Because it has no meaning, we were created by chance, no divine intervention, so if life has no meaning you can make your own. That is why we set goals, have religion and all that other stuff. Due to life's lack of meaning. Just RELAX and GO OUT MORE, explore your mind. Always remember paranoia is your worst enemy it will eat you up and digest you, my god would it hurt you to SMILE MORE. Man Im getting tired but if this made any sense for you then Im happy if not smoke more weed. And it doesn't sound like you know where you want to be in life, get that sorted first, with the help of weed of course [Just kidding get your folks to help with that] please leave me a msg I would like to know when and if you are feeling better, really, I just feel we're all connected, LIFE IS BEAUTY.