Alright GC, I need some honest, helpful, non-rude advice on what I should do... I've been dating my current girlfriend for about 3 and a half years now, with a very large distance between us. See, I live in Mississippi, and she lives in Wisconsin... I've only seen her in person 2 times. It's been a really long and tough road for the both of us. With our ups and downs, more ups than downs. But recently things have been going pretty bad. Our relationship has just gotten..boring and stressful. I still love her to death, but the constant phone calls and text messaging has just been driving me crazy. Going out to hang out with my friends on the weekends is practically non-existent. She gets really pissed off if I want to go out with them, instead of come home and talk to her on the phone for a long time EVERY NIGHT. I think it's the distance that is finally getting to me. After years and years of seeing other couples together and being happy with each other, starts making me depressed because I can't see my girlfriend everyday like they can. See, I'm still in highschool (notice to all Age Police: I am 18) and she is too. We're both seniors and starting to make college plans. It's so stressful trying to find the exact same schools to go to (out of state tuition is a bitch) that suit both of our career choices. The love I have for her is fading away... I'm not sure if I should stick it out and go to college with her and see how it will be to finally get to live with her, or end it now and be free and start fresh. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, feel free to leave your advice or comments or questions. Strangely, I trust the people on GC with their advice. There are a lot of great minds on this forum.
Dude if your relationship is stressful and boring, i think it might be that time you two just remain friends. No one can tell you two what to do, i hope the best for you two. Its a big world man, lots of girlies out there. let us know what happens. BTW college will be a good time, to meet more people. So i guess my real advice is dont be tied down during the best time of your life in a long distance relationship. I respect your two's relationship, sorry if i come off sounding like a dick. Im just throwing down my 2 cents.
But it's been 3 and a half years... Kinda hard to just completely leave that behind. We've both put so much effort into the relationship to make it work with such a long distance.
True man, i understand. you should really talk to her and see if you two are going to be living closer, and be together soon(sense its your last year of H.S), and see what she wants to do/how she feels. Again man 3 years is a long time, and I hope it works out for the best.
I think it is time to end it. She is probably more of a bestfriend type than a girlfriend anyway..well that is how it sounds. Find a school that suits you and don't factor her in your decision. That probably sounds harsh but yeah..long distance obviously isn't working out for either of you but I reckon you two could be life long friends.
if you really love each other you can always find colleges closer together for both of u to go to. there are so many colleges in this country and its foolish to think that schools in mississippi dont have what schools in wisconson have or vice versa. you can find a way to be closer together but your young and chances are it wont work out even if you guys lived close together. thats just how life usually is. but u will kick urself if u dont even give it a real shot to work out. just my 2 cents.
You're the man, tell her when you're going to be busy. And when you're busy, don't talk to her, do whatever you want. Sometimes relationships need breaks.
I'd say end it. Don't think of it was wasting 3.5 years on the relationship, because you're only wasting more time by sticking around with someone you're not happy with. Even more so when its long distance. As you said, you've only seen her 2x. Move on, live the single life.
Yeah you've spent 3 1/2 years together but you're going to college. You need to spend the next couple of years focusing on yourself and not a relationship you have maintained entirely over the phone. You won't be happy and neither will she if you pursue this any longer.
Thanks for the advice guys, keep em coming. The whole college thing is a biggie. Trying to go to the SAME college is hard... my parents said that I can go anywhere in-state that I want to, and they would pay for it. But if I want to go out-of-state, I'll have to pay my own way or get a scholarship because out-of-state tuition is a bitch... and well, my girlfriend doesn't come from a good family that can pay for out of state. Fucking stressful...
Just continue the relationship. But like guy said you are the man. I mean if you have been in such a long relationship, there should be trust. And so what if you don't talk all day, or you go out for the weekend. And focus on yourself, be lucky you have someone that wants to hang on to you. And maybe find someone you can have some fun with in town
Long distance sucks BALLS...but I imagine it's worth it if you stick it out, that is if it can actually work out in the end. I also think it depends on where you are in your life, that plays a major factor in whether or not you can sustain a relationship. I'm starting to realize myself, that relationships take a major back seat when someone is in school. I don't really think that can be avoided. My advice, just follow your gut. I operate on the belief that if it's meant to be, it will be. It's already been 3 years....what's 3 more? LOL, but really, just follow your instinct. Try it out, if you're not happy move on, if it can't work, move on. Just don't shut out the possibility of a future, you never know if your paths will bring you back together randomly. Life has a funny way of working things out. edit: P420....that motto should change for college students. "DISREGARD FEMALES, ACQUIRE MASSIVE DEBT." Unless of course mommy and daddy can pay.
Honestly I wouldn't want you to let your relationship chose your college decision for you. Imagine you go somewhere that you do not want to for her and break up in a year or two, do you want to be stuck at a school you do not like? When you go to college you'll want to explore, have fun and meet new people. Will she allow you to do that or will she be on your back like you have it now in HS? Do not let her stifle your college experience. Good luck and just remember whatever happens will work out.
i think its time to hit up the drawing board homie. your 18 years old and about to begin college in less then a year. trust me, theres girls every where you go. just because you go to same college does not mean things will work out, i meam chances get higher but ive seen to many couples comes to college together and break up. tell her its to tough and if its ment to be, you guys will be back at it in the future. who knows what will go on within the next year or two. seriously, dont make college choices because of your girl, you need to live your life.
It's clearly always hard. One serious, all out, honest talk can help a ton. Just don't be afraid to say exactly what you feel.
Thanks for all the help guys. A lot of good points. I think I'm just gonna sit on it for a while and think. Maybe spark up this bowl to help my think. Any extra advice would be great, I love everyone's input so far. Thanks guys.
If you really love her, this is something you need to be sure of, then stick it out and be sure to go to college with her. If you dont you will always regret it. Even if it wouldnt have worked out. I was in a situation very similar to yours. Me and the girl broke up about a year before college because of this issue. I regret it to this day, and still think she is the one who got away. Dont let that happen to you. Look at it this way, if it dont work out its a year or semester gone, if you dont you will never have the chance with her again. You have plenty of time in college give it a shot.