Long Distance Relationship?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by its_the_shrink, Jul 1, 2014.

  1. Fellow tokers :smoke:
     
    For the next few months I have found myself in the situation of managing a ldr.
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, we have to be apart for a while now.
    Truth is, I don't like the idea at all and I'm kinda scared of it.
    I was wondering if you have some advice, and all that, if you have/had sth similar.
    For example, how often do you talk? Are there days when you don't talk at all? Is that alright and how does/did your partner react? Is it ok/normal for the two to know each other's every step? How should things be in a temporary ldr?
    :confused:

     
  2. Depends on how much you kept tabs on each other before. How much you trust each other. If you trust them to not fuck around on you, a longer leash is beneficial. If you dont, a shorter leash is needed, but really if you dnt trust each other ldr wont work anyway
     
  3. Ime it usually turns out shitty but good luck

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  4. Dooooooonnnnnnttttttt do it
     
  5. #5 mappynappy, Jul 1, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2014
    The only person that can answer this is you, true love has no boundaries. Just think military spouses wait several months, sometimes a year or longer for their significant other. It all boils down to if you like him enough to do it
     
  6. I'm in a similar situation. My BF and I have been together for almost a year. I just graduated from college and will be going to grad school about two and a half hours away from where he lives (in other words, it's close enough to visit, but far away enough to be a huge pain in the butt sometimes). In college, we used to spend time together everyday so the original transition was hard for both of us. Now, during summer, we text each other daily. Sometimes, a conversation keeps up all day, other times, we just check in with each other in the morning and before bed. We also try to talk on the phone or Skype an additional 2-3 times a week, at least. We trust each other and I think our situation suits us well. In fact, I think the distance has been a blessing in disguise because we have each started to develop our own hobbies and nothing beats that magical moment when we embrace again after spending a few weeks apart. If you're both happy with each other, you will make it work, I promise. I hope this helps reassure you. Feel free to message me if you're ever in need of advice or just want to vent. 
     
    :smoke: 
     
  7. I work a two weeks on two weeks off schedule where I go to remote areas and am away for 14-17 days on end, sometimes 24 days. Me and my girl have been together 2.5 years and we text daily. Nothing heavy just what you doing, how was your day, I love you, I miss you...sorta thing. We talk on the phone a few times a week for 20-45 mins. It works fine... it sucks being away but its awsome getting back and fucking her brains out. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. Its healthy and do-able if your both trustworthy and are in it for the long haul.
     
  8. #8 its_the_shrink, Jul 2, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2014
    1.   Thanks, everybody :)
     
    About the transition thing.. it's difficult for me, apparently not for him. We practically lived together in one room - by choice - mostly his. We spent all out time together for 7 months and we sometimes would have rather stayed in and be with each other than go out with people, we were really close. He was the one who chose this level of closeness and I just went along with it. Now it's difficult when a day goes by and I don't hear from him. Doesn't really happen much, but tbh whenever a day goes by and we exchanged 2-3 texts it's almost like we didn't talk at all. He keeps telling me he loves me and how busy he is and how he misses me but it sounds kinda fishy to me.
     
     
     
    That is so sweet I can't even.. :eek: :confused:
     
    :laughing:
     
    thank you! :smoke:
     
  9.  
    Don't mention it. It's all about solidarity, girlfriend.
     
    As for what you were talking about earlier in your post, I can almost guarantee you that the transition is just as, if not more, difficult for him. The fact that he is barely texting you is actually a really good sign. I know that sounds weird, but dudes cope with things way differently than we do. When we miss our boyfriends, we are really tempted to text excessively, talk about feelings, pine away, all of that stuff. It sounds stereotypical, but there's some truth to it, right? Guys try to lock it up as much as possible. I remember at the beginning of my long-distance situation, I was having the same problems with my BF. After getting furious with him for his lack of attention (which I interpreted as withdrawal from the relationship) he confessed to me that keeping the contact minimal for the first few weeks helped him with the adjustment because talking to me and thinking about me all of the time just made the situation that much more difficult. Give him a little bit of space and he'll open back up again!
     
  10. I'm in one right now but it fucking sucks. Like I shouldn't have took it this far. i have love for this girl and would do anything for her but I just can't do it anymore... Like I'm starting to see that I get annoyed by the little shit that she does.. I'm probably about to break it off soon. 
     
    If you really really love that person then you should at least try it. It might work for you but it might not. Can't hurt to try tho
     
  11. I was just in one that lasted for almost a year. It was a little different though because I was dating a girl who is not exactly into monogamy and that really wore on me, especially in the last month or so we were together. I am very much in love with her, but I still ended the relationship because it was just too much for me to be constantly wondering if she was hooking up with someone new. When we were together though, we texted multiple times a day in the beginning and Facebook chatted a lot. Skyped probably once or twice every couple of weeks, but she lived in a really rural area of Virginia and didn't have the best internet to make that happen. It's been a really tough month since we broke up, and sometimes I think about trying to make it work again since I feel so empty now, but other times I'm just not sure. I feel like with all that she and I have been through in the last two months, it wouldn't be the same, and I'm scared she may have lost some of her feelings for me but I'm not sure. Long distance is really fucking hard, and I can't recommend doing it with someone you aren't really serious about.
     
  12. If you both love each other, be together. Do NOT make him go through that. Especially alone, I'm going through easily the worst pain I've ever experienced. They're so extremely hard to deal with. I'm at the point where I have to let the only thing I love in this world go, in hopes that we will be together in the future. Don't put him through that. Tough it out, never pass up real love. You'll regret it, and resent yourself for letting it go.


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  13. I'm currently in a long distance relationship too. I talk with my bf online nearly every night. If either of us won't be online, we send out a text to stop the other person from worrying. He goes to cricket practice some nights so he isn't online. He recommended I watch Supernatural so I told him I was watching that last night and he said he hoped I'd enjoy it. Actually, it was pretty good. I may watch more episodes. We don't know what each other's every move is, though we do discuss what's happened during our day. And if one of us has had a bad day, the other cheers up the first one. Don't end the relationship if you really love him. It will only cause heartache.
     
  14. Yeah, sounds like him alright. This is like one of those comedies where you find out you're dating the same dude :laughing:
    Thank you so much. Things got much better now, and we only have 1 more month to go until he comes back for good. :love:
     
  15. Thank you, that's pretty much the way things work between us right now. I can relate :)
     
  16. I am not, he is... :( but we didn't break up over that and now we have one more month and we can be together again. Hopefully with no resentments left.
    All the best with your situation right there..! It sounds pretty tricky. Hopefully you feel a little better now ^_^
     
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