A little background, my girlfriend Jenn she came from a broken home. Her real dad was very abusive and would always beat her mom, Now her step-dad is an alcoholic and a meth addict. How we met; Me and her step-dad were coworkers at the time. we will refer to him as J. well me and J got to talking at work one day about cocaine one thing lead to another and i ended up doing lots of coke after work with J on a regular basis. then we would start to hang out on the weekends getting drunk. I realized he had some problems you know and tried to help him but never worked. Anyway his stepdaughter Jenn who's now my girlfriend, she was a little stoner. so i always ended up smoking with her and we would talk about life and what not. So one day i go over to J's house, only to find that hes hammered and being a real asshole. he ended up calling his wife some names and jenn didn't like that so she went at him and he hit her. So that night i took her to her friends house cuz she needed to get out of that house. Well the next day i texted her checking up on her making sure she was alright, she said yea but she didn't wanna go back home. So i jokingly said "i've got a big bed you can sleep in" she took me up on the offer and stayed at my house for a few days. well she finally worked up the courage to go back home. that lasted for about 3 months. in that time i started seeing her a lot, shit happened and we just starting going out. then some shit went down again, and she had got a one way ticket to Georgia to live with her sister. Shes been gone for 6 months and it really sucks man. i didn't think i could ever become attached to someone like i did her. I can honestly say i fell in love. Now i really want to be with her without a doubt for the rest of my life. and we've been talking about it, and she has no desire whatsoever to move back to Utah. The plan was for me to move to Georgia when she got an apartment. Now i recently brought that up, and she said we should get married first whoa whoa, thats a major decision. It just feels like shes forcing me to marry her if i ever wanna be with her again. Now i do love her, but not quite sure about marriage im only 20 for crying out loud. opinions? i'm feeling like i just need to end this, its starting to hurt more than it feels good
You answered your own question man, you said you wanted to end it. But, I don't know. She sounds like 'that girl', I don't think I could advise you to let her go man. I know how it feels. Talk to her if anything.
i talked to her about it and i quote she said " i dont think couples should live together without getting married, unless they are just friends or something". Now that to me is making this situation really hard because of what she said. I told her my opinion is that marriage is a really big thing, and i think the two people should live with each other, just to make sure they can live together without major problems. she proceeded to say "i respect your opinion but mines not changing". wtf? i dont even know how to feel right now.
Tell her that 6 months of living together makes you common law. The only difference is a wedding gives you a certificate that states your relationship, and common law doesn't. Get both of your names on the lease and then your pretty much set.
If you do decide to marry her in the end I would strongly recommend you get a prenup, on the one hand she might be the one for you, on the other hand, most marriages especially at that age don't last so it would be best to cover your ass as best you can.
so we talked more about it, and this is what she said; "honestly my reason for wanting to be married before living together is cuz of my sister. its horrible that i wanna do it basically to protect how people view me, and i see how wrong i am for even thinking like that. I hope you forgive me for this sawyer. im sorry i made it seem like i was forcing you into this im sorry. honestly i dont care if we live together without being married. i just want you around babe". i still dont know what to say. i mean its almost like shes ashamed to be going out with me, she hasnt told her sister she has a boyfriend because her sister is like the epitome of christian and would hate me. just because im not christian and i do certain things that christians dont agree with. I just dont fucking know guys.
Edit: I doubt she's ashamed of you, family is probably important to her. Honestly who cares if her sister hates you, nothing you can do, I feel like as long as you two are happy, do what ever. Normally crazy religious family members aren't too approving of anyone not of their view on everything for the most part... Like my ex's father's orthodox Jewish family members, like MAD aunt's and uncle's she never met because they take that shit so seriously the father cannot really chill with them or anything, way to strict/not accepting of anything. If marriage is that important to them or some shit maybe just bullshit to keep peace if you really dig this girl. If you wanna be with her, see if you can talk to your girl and see if you can just tell her sis/family that you guys got married, try it, and see if it (marriage b/t you two) doesn't work out or if it does work out. I doubt their family is going to ask to see a marriage certificate. Say you got it done at the state or what ever you know? Didn't want to have a wedding, too much money. Wear rings and shit... why not? I mean you guys pretty much are, only not on paper.