Long Distance Relationship Advice?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Jim Fear, Jun 24, 2014.

  1. So heres the situation. I met this girl about a month and a half ago and we started dating. Weve become extremely attached to each other and although its only been a short time, i honestly can see myself having a future with her.

    But heres the catch. Were both going off to college in august and we will be living 1.5 hours away from eachother. Ill be in Toronto, she will be living in Niagara Falls. My program is 4 years and hers is 3 but she told me she would move to toronto after her program. Thats 3 years of seeing eachother only when time permits. She has told me that she wants to stay together even with the distance factor and i told her i wasnt really sure. We ended up (kinda) breaking up over a disagreement about how often we will be able to see each other this summer because i have a bit of an issue with not actually being able to see your partner very often in a relationship. We wont have a lot of time together in the summer but were trying to see if we can see each other as often as possible.

    But now im doubting myself. I want to try this relationship even with the distance but i dont know if im making the wrong move here. I proposed we could see eachother atleast on weekends in the fall which she said could get expensive, which shes right. Gas aint cheap. Im guessing it will be more like once every two or three weeks, if that, that we get to see each other.

    I know that we would get back together officially the second that i said i was in for the LDR so this basically hangs on my decision. What should i do blades? Ive looked at the pros and cons a lot and still cant decide if it will be too much or if its worth it to try.

    Tldr : going out with a girl, living 1.5 hours away from each other for atleast 3 years, want to try long distance relationship but dont know if thats worth trying
     
  2. I prefer it living 1-2 hours apart ... best of both worlds. You have your freedom and you get to see her a few days a week. You don't want to be living close to eachother or either yourself, or the girl will end up smothering the relationship with constant needyness 
     
  3. I go to college in the Niagara area don't worry bro I'll keep her warm for yah
     
  4. This.

    Long distance. First time away from home. So many guys and booze.

    How atttactive is this girl? Her level of attractiveness is directly proportional to the chances of her banging other dudes.

    If she is a 6, theres a 60% chance she will cheat on you.
    If she is a 9, theres a 90% chance she will cheat on you.

    This is what research has shown.

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  5. That was one other reason that i wasnt sure about this whole thing. She could cheat, i could cheat, but i cant be sure of either. Im not the type to cheat and shes only ever been cheated on but college is different right? Who knows if our morals will change.

    These are simply what ifs though, and that is why she was so pissed at me when we initially broke it off. She felt that i wasnt even giving it a chance which i can understand but theres a lot of things that could go wrong. The only thing is that we really care about each other so i honestly dont think either of us would cheat.

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  6. #6 SWED, Jun 25, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2014
    I'm going to assume you are in high school and going out to college for the first time, and she is in the same boat. Let me tell you dude, if you are even remotely good looking and have even a smidge of game, you will get laid alot and be glad you are single - especially if you are living in residence. Don't limit yourself with a girlfriend, there is a 95% chance you will break up 100% of the time. Have fun for now, go to parties, meet people, enjoy your summer as a bachelor and go into a new chapter of your life with a clear, attachment free head.
     
    I was in a very similar situation when I was first going to college and I have no regrets going college as a freshman bachelor. Met the girl of my dreams while I was at college.   :confused_2:
     
  7. Why worry about this now and not at the end of summer

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  8. She initially brought it up wondering if we would be together after the summer so it was kind of hard to avoid the question
     
  9. Also, if you guys have not even known eachother 2 months yet and are already having doubts, it ain't gonna last bro
     
  10. Were really good friends so i still want to spend time with her, not so sure about being single before college, in theory it sounds like the right thing to do but i think it would be great to atleast spend the summer together

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  11.  
     
    I think it depends if you really have feelings for her. The summer before college I was banging a smokin' hot broad, but if the opportunity presented itself to be on the promiscuous side I indulged (sleep with other broads) because I didn't let myself get attached and didn't "catch feelings", as they say. However we both knew I was going 8 hours away to school and that I would not be able to help myself should another smokin' broad come onto me, and vica versa for her. It was by far one of the best summers I have experienced in my short time on this earth.
     
    It's what you make it man - but from someone who has literally been in your shoes...fuck as many chicks as you can while you can and don't look back.
     
  12. Okay, makes sense, I just feel like it'd be more beneficial to wait until the end of summer bc who knows where you will stand at that point. Anyway man, an hr isn't much really at all, if you want/need to see her there will pretty much always be that option.
    I still can totally understand where you are coming from, but if you guys truly care and want to be together then you should try it out. Worst case scenario you decide the long distance thing isn't working and you'll have to end it, which will suck for both of you, but it is what it is.

    Kind of a side note I guess, but this girl I've worked with since last summer I finally got to take out on a date this summer and we've been talking since then, but she goes to college like 12 hours away so I don't really know what's going to happen come end of summer cause we both seem to like each other a lot, but don't know if either of us could even handle or want to try and stay talking that far away. Oh well, we probably won't because we aren't even technically anything which kinda sucks because I like her a lot and shes pretty damn cool, but talking to someone that far away would suck too.
    Sorry for the sids rant, good luck with your problem.
     
  13. #13 garrison68, Jun 25, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2014
    Jeez, when I saw the title of the thread, which included "long distance", I figured you were very far away.  A 1.5 hour trip doesn't sound impossible to me.   Every relationship is different, and unique.  Give it a try, right now it's too soon to tell if it will work.  Now, with SKYPE and everything else, you can stay in touch every day.  Over time, you'll find out if it will work, or not. 
     
  14. Well, 1.5 hours doesnt seem like a lot, and in reality it isnt that far. But given that i dont drive, the options for us seeing each other are 1) her driving to toronto 2) me taking bus/train so it makes it a bit more difficult to see each other often

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  15. #15 SlightlyStonedSD, Jun 25, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 25, 2014
    It depends on what type of people you are. I lived 1.5 hours away from my girl for a couple years but we made it work and we live together now

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