Loneliness and Depression

Discussion in 'General' started by LuCidMinDwaVeS, Aug 14, 2011.

  1. Shits hard,
    I dont have anywhere else to put this i can't talk about how I feel with anyone because nobody really gets it and I figured this would be better because I just dont do well with face to face and feelings..

    My bday is tomorrow and I havent been more depressed, I don't know why but I cry alot at random intervals during the day and I always end up remembering how lonely I am. I have friends and what not, I have weed, I have a mom that loves me. Why do I feel so isolated and alone? Why do I look at myself in the mirror and jsut punch myself in the head because i don't like what I see? why do I even try anymore, i've been depressed for years and I just wanted some advice, something I havent heard before. It seems like I've tried everything and my depression hasn't gotten better. Am I cursed by a demon for the rest of my years? am I going to have to deal with this sadness and loneliness forever? cause if I do there is no way I'm going to deal with this for the rest of my life, I can't take it. I have to move out in 3 days to Richmond and I know a few people there but they are just people that i have hung out with a few times. I'm so nervous about moving. Also my ex girlfriend who was my true serious relationship (it was such a serious relationship my ex and I moved in together for a little over a year). She kills me sends me all these confusing texts everyday one second shes confessing her love for me and saying how shes dumping her boyfriend for me, then the next she doesn't talk to me for days at a time only to text me back that she loves me and she acts like nothing happened. Shes playing huge games with me and its killing me. I know I shouldn't talk to her but I'm just still in love with her, I have a hard time not talking to her. I also found out recently that bitch cheated on me when we were together. I have been dealing with my depression so far by trying to forget about it through partying and meeting lots of people but still I feel so alone. I've met tons of girls and alot of them have been down to have fun but its always me that backs out and for some reason I feel guilty whenever I even kiss another girl than my ex, let alone fucking that bitch feel me? I am a nice fucking person and I always help out my friends whenever I fucking can, but that gets overlooked by everybody and people just use me for connects. It fucking sucks but ever since I stopped sharing my connects with everybody, barely anyone has even talked to me. What do I do Grasscity? I'm trying hard to make it better I just am scared and feel helpless and very hopeless, I am stressed the fuck out and fucking sad ( I can feel the sadness in my stomach, its like someone is constantly shaving my insides with a semi dull knife and they are slowly killing me with it), what to do, what to do.
  2. your not alone man. i suffer from ptsd which is very similar to what youve described. number one....bitches aint shit. number two, do what makes you happy...concentrate on yourself and doing things that make you happy because thats truly all that matters in life is your own happiness. Believe it or not ive been diagonosed with ptsd, tbi, depression, and mild schizophrenia...weed and alchohol are what i use to self medicate and maintain a happy healthy lifestyle...always in moderation and responsibly might i add. keep your head up and take time to do things you enjoy and maybe the shadows will lift for a while and show you the bright shining light of life.
  3. Happy early birthday bro :rolleyes:...life is hard man thats all I can really tell you..I know how you feel bro..never the less your still here man and all you can do is live one day at time..life is short bro ..you never know when your not gonna wake up tomorrow its just not worth it going through life depressed..Trust me man I been there...good luck though :wave:
  4. Tell that bitch off. Tell her it is you or the highway. If she chooses the highway then you have an out. Block her from your phone. Ignore her.

    Sounds like she is enjoying playing with you. Go to a bar, get hammered and stoned and bang some broad.

    Or if you want the best option.... Go to a therapist. They will help you much better then a forum of weed smokers.

    Happy early bday.
  5. Have you talked to any professionals about these feelings?
  6. Happy Early Birthday Savethellama!! I'm sorry things are going crappy for you but first you have to break yourself away from that girl, obviously she doesn't care that she's giving you an emotional bleeding wound and if she hasn't gotten back with you yet, she probably won't. You need to break away and give yourself a chance to heal that wound. Try taking at least 6 months of no contact with her to give yourself time and space. If your friends are ditching you 'cause you won't hook them up, then obviously they're not your friends. You need find people who like you for you not for what you can provide them with. It's better to hang with a few people you get along with then partying with lots of people if you're looking for someone to 'connect' with, sometimes at parties you meet a lot of people but don't get to know any of them on a personal level since you're talking to so many people. It'll get better, just don't give up. I hope tomorrow's a better day for you sir =)
  7. #7 potchocolate, Aug 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2011

    It sounds like you know what to do, just you want some help along the way. You need love and attention, and with this break-up and the friends issue, it really isn't helping. On top of all this, you have to deal with this girl giving you mixed signals and keeping you back from moving forward!

    What really stands out here is you are aware of your depression, and even though you don't think it can be changed, it really can. You are confused, you already know what you have to do, you already know the answers, you just want to hear it from us because there is someone in the world who took the time to listen and hear you out. You're making your problems huge and stressing yourself out.

    I know how it feels losing a girl, and I also know how it feels to have "no friends".

    You have to let go of this girl, always have the mindset of "If she's not with me then I'll have 10 other girls lined up behind her." You said it yourself, you have the capability to get with girls. You just feel guilty, and that is your problem. Why would you feel guilty for hooking up with girls? Your EXgirl HAS a boyfriend! She has already moved. Her words are that she loves you blahblha, but her actions tell the truth. If she really did still love you, she would not be with another man. Also don't try to forget her, try to think about her and even imagine her making out with her new boyfriend and make yourself OKAY with that. Keep thinking about her and all the shitty things she does to you, and how happy you are now that she isn't with you anymore. Fuck the good times, you broke up for a reason right? She's a cheater too, be glad you found out now rather 10 years down the road with a divorce lawyer.

    What you have to do is get some self-confidence. Look the mirror and say "I dont give a fuck ROFL, lets go blaze and fuuckk somme bitchhesss". Girls are attracted to self confidence my friend, and even if you don't feel confident, just act like it. They will start talking to you more and it will boost it even more, it's like a circle. Just don't become an asshole!

    Another thing on top of all this drama is you are moving to Richmond. Whenever people move to a new place it is extremely stressing, because you aren't too familiar with the area and you feel like you will be even more alone there. Have no fear man, this may be your chance to finally move on in life! Make new friends, meet new people, find new blaze spots, it will be quite the adventure for you!

    My advice to you is once you move to Richmond, start working out and maybe go to a few parties and be really cool. You'll definitely meet some girls, and now that your EXgirl has already moved on, it's time for you to move on too. It's time to go to that party, and have some fucking fun. You'll be looking good, meeting an talking to girls, meeting new friends, exchanging numbers, and you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

    Just calm down, relax, and let this roller coaster of emotions ride it's way out. It seems like these feelings will last forever, but they are only temporary. Always remember you are the control your life, you just need to be positive and live it to the fullest!

    Hope I helped, feel free to PM anytime.

  8. You gotta get out and see the world do things you normally don't do

  9. Sounds like you just need to breath.

    It also sounds like you have too many things running around your head and that is causing you to panic. Maybe smoking weed isn't helping in this case. For me, when I am not fully comfortable, smoking has negative affects. Try finding things you like, reading, running, drawing, and focus on that. Focus on bettering yourself, growing confidence, and everything else will fall in line.

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