So I'm high and I go to the hall to fill up my water bootle at the water fountain. I see some dude brushing his teeth in it. lmaoo I was like wtf dude and I can't stop laughing cause he tried to dip quick but I'm too fast
It's not my fault my house has been ruined by hurricane sandy, and I have no clean running water, I was just trying to maintain SOME kind of hygiene and you had to run up on me like I was doing something wrong, FUCK YOU OP! Leave me alone next time!
One time I went to use the water fountain and this girl was using it to wash her vag and when she saw me she tried to dip but instead she tripped and busted her head open on the tile floor and there was blood everywhere and she died. After that the water from the fountain always tasted funny. True story.
One time I went to use a water fountain and this fool was washin off his chicken wings in the god damn fountain. I mean who the fuck washes off their chicken wings, let alone in a fountain? That bitch saw me and tried to run but was to slow, I tackled his ass, farted in his face and stole his chicken wings and dipped.
One time I was on a cruise ship and I went to use the water fountain and who do you think was there? A god damn mermaid! I said to her "mermaid, what the hell is your ass doing on this cruise? Your ass belongs in the god damn ocean!" So I lead her over to the deck and she slides her fat ass over the railing into the ocean and she's floating in the ocean just looking at me and I turn to go back to the water fountain and get my god damn drink of water and the mermaid says to me "wait I gotta tell you something, underahoneymoon" so I lean over the railing and I says "say it, mermaid I want a fucking drink of water." And the mermaid, you know what she says? "I need about tree fitty" That's when I realized that this mermaid was about 6 stories tall and a monster from the cretaceous period. This ain't no mermaid. It's the god damn lochness monster!
hes probably just Canadian. we like to have you think we are like Americans.. but in reality only Toronto is. most of us live in the ruins of towns from the 80s, and stealing from the real cities. weve built trailer parks as a form of community, but we still need free liquor, cheeseburgers, and weed.
I usually brush my teeth and whatnot in hotel guest bathrooms, very luxurious. A water fountain is pretty tactless.
anyone capable of actually getting into a water fountain, can wash his butthole in it for all i care..that a pretty gnarly feat i must say.
[quote name='"underahoneymoon"']One time I was on a cruise ship and I went to use the water fountain and who do you think was there? A god damn mermaid! I said to her "mermaid, what the hell is your ass doing on this cruise? Your ass belongs in the god damn ocean!" So I lead her over to the deck and she slides her fat ass over the railing into the ocean and she's floating in the ocean just looking at me and I turn to go back to the water fountain and get my god damn drink of water and the mermaid says to me "wait I gotta tell you something, underahoneymoon" so I lean over the railing and I says "say it, mermaid I want a fucking drink of water." And the mermaid, you know what she says? "I need about tree fitty" That's when I realized that this mermaid was about 6 stories tall and a monster from the cretaceous period. This ain't no mermaid. It's the god damn lochness monster![/quote] Lol I love that episode