well imo anyways..... i dont think ive hated life more than the past few years. I cant remember the last time i was happy or woke up feeling optimistic about anything. My girfriend is scum, yet im trapped becuase i made the mistake of having a child with her. Of the fours years ive been with her shes had 2 jobs thast lasted a gran total of 3 months. How about that. She always lies to me, tries to hide certain people from me(myspace immaturity). We always argue. We dont have sex. We dont do anything. I want to leave but itd be a knife to heart financially, but i just dont know if i cant take it anymore. Ive never felt so miserable in my entire life. Theres no worse feeling in the world than hopelessness. All of my close firends have either moved away or joined the military. I have no one to talk to. It really fucking sucks, its taking a huge toll on my mental heatlh. Ive always suffered from anxiety, but now its to the point where i cant fight it off to try and get out there in the world. Sometimes i feel like the only way out is a bullet the temple. Im so lost right now in life. im sorry i f i posted this in the wrong section, i just needed to get some shit off my chest before it poisons me inside.