This morning my wife went to take a shower and I figured it'd be a good time to go into the hallway closet and have a quick prayer session. After I finished I went into the bedroom and she was putting her makeup on. She asked where I was and I told her I was working in the garage and she said I checked the garage and you weren't in there. I told her I must have been in the corner where she couldn't see me. She asked if everything was ok, and that she noticed I had ordered a Bible from Amazon. I told her that I was reconsidering my views on God and there were going to be some changes in our house. I told her that she was going to have to leave or sell her company, we were going to start going to Church and she was to stay home to cook, clean and homeschool the kids. And keep in mind the whole time she's looking at me like I'm crazy and I'm feeling disrespected in my own house. I got around to Halloween and how we would not be observing it anymore and that pumpkin pies were not to be made anymore. I told her it had to stop. She looked me in the eye and said "Are you out of your mind?!?" and that's when God himself spoke to me and said "This is your house, I am your God and she is your wife, CONTROL HER!" I'm ashamed to admit it but I hesitated, I didn't know what to do. That's when I felt Him enter my body and felt my hand raise up from my side. The back of my hand connected with her cheek and she screamed "What the f@*% is wrong with you?!!!" Again, as if acting on it's own my arm swung out again and hit her in the face and she was silent, crying on the bed where she had fell. After a few moments I asked her if she understood the changes we would be making and she nodded yes, never looking up at me. I said "Good, now I've worked up an appetite, why don't you go make some lunch." She replied that we didn't have anything to make and asked if she could go to the store and I said that was fine. She then asked if she could take the kids with her as they haven't been outside all day and that it would give me some peace and quiet to study my Bible. I feel our talk was very productive and that she understands her role as she asked me permission to leave the house. And I feel overjoyed that God himself entered me and filled me with his Love and showed me firsthand how to deal with a disobedient wife. But most importantly I feel I have the proof I've spent my whole life searching for. God took control of my body and spoke to me personally!! I feel so blessed that he chose to reveal himself to me. The wife should be home any minute now, she's been gone an hour and a half, I don't know what's taking her so long. I guess we were very low on food so she had a lot to buy. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share the progress I've made!
He is trolling. And did a copy-n-paste from one of numerous other threads without crediting the source.
I know, I wish I wouldn't have hesitated to discipline her. I felt the lord take control and help me do what was right. It was truly magical. Praise the lord for helping me!
As someone who believes in god, you are the reason so many people hate christians. Good luck with whatever the fuck you're trying to do.
lol, no shit. I posted this to see how different the replies were here from the website I found it. These people are crazy fucks. The first link is the thread I posted here. The others are ones I felt were especially fucked up also. I hit my wife for the first time - The Landover Baptist Church Forum Hiding Bruises - The Landover Baptist Church Forum How I almost got the AIDS while waiting in line for a slice of pizza - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
You're an idiot. You hit your wife? Oh sorry, I mean "God" hit your wife through you? I believe in God, and god doesn't do stuff like that. Sent from above
That's what I thought, but the pastor made a thread about people going on there and asking if they're serious and he said everything they say about their religion is true or you'll get banned. That's not what all Baptists believe is it?
No most baptists do not believe like that, 90% of the bible is shhh don't mention that section in regards to us
Well Praise Jesus it sounds like you and the missus are off to a great start in walking the path of Christ. Just remember, you don't owe her any explanations.
And that's a quote from the pastor, who has close to 70,000 posts. Either it's the single dedicated troll in the history of the Internet, or these people are for real.
lol for real! This can't be real. The whole page is full of people with at least 6000 posts saying the same things