Libertarian Parables

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Perpetual Burn, May 25, 2010.

  1. One day, a carpenter comes home to his modest apartment from a hard days work. He's resting on his couch enjoying the fruits of his labor minding his own business when he hears a knock on the door...

    He answers the door to see his neighbor bleeding profusely out of his leg. Shocked, he asks, "What happened man?" His neighbor bursts out, "Got into an argument with my girlfriend. Things got heated and she stabbed me in the leg with a kitchen knife. You gotta help me fix my leg!" The carpenter says, "I am not a doctor. I don't know anything about fixing legs." His neighbor says, "Well, can you at least give me money for an ambulance ride?" "Sorry," says the carpenter, "but I don't have any cash on me. Good luck with your leg."

    The neighbor scoffs, "Fine, thanks for nothing you heartless bastard."

    The carpenter goes back to his resting, but no sooner than he sits down, he hears another knock at the door...

    He answers the door to see another neighbor, a young college student holding out his hand with an assortment of pills in it. "Hey, man, which one of these pills will get me fucked up?!" asks the college kid. "I don't know," replies the carpenter, "I am not a pharmacist. All I'll say is, I wouldn't put anything in my body if I did not know what it was."

    The kid looks at him confused and says, "Fine, thanks for nothing you ignorant fool."

    The carpenter laughs and goes back to sitting on his couch when he hears yet another knock on the door...

    He answers the door to see the old man who lives down the hall. The old man says, "Hey, it's my birthday today. Just turned 65!" "Oh, I didn't know that," says the carpenter with a smile,"Happy Birthday!" The old man says, "Since I am old and tired, I do not feel like working any more. So, I was wondering if you would be willing to pay my rent so I do not have to work any more." "Sorry," says the carpenter, "but I do not have that kind of money as I am saving for my own retirement. I guess you'll have to keep working like the rest of us."

    The old man frowns at him, "Fine, thanks for nothing you greedy punk."

    The carpenter returns to his couch amused and bewildered. He cannot understand how his neighbors have become so crazy... he then turns on the News and the evening's events become crystal clear.
  2. So the moral of the story is Libertarians are..

    1. Not helpful in an emergency...
    2. No fun...
    3. Have no sympathy/respect for their elders...
    4. Lonely dudes who have nothing to do in the evening except watch TV...

  3. One day a baker is closing up shop when a hurled brick shatters his window. He quickly runs out and finds two men grinning ear to ear.

    "What the fuck are you doing?", he asks the apparent vandals.

    "We're reducing unemployment!", the vandal responds. "You see, I'm a window repair man that has come down on his luck, and this here politician is helping me get back to work."

    "So you break my window? Who's going to pay for it?", says the shopkeeper.

    "Why, you are. And by doing so you have improved the local economy!", insists the politician. "We're all one in this society!"

    S: "How do you improve anything by stealing from one and giving to another? Now I won't be able to pay my employees this month. You didn't solve anything, you just made my life worse on behalf of this idiot."

    P: "Errrm, right! Don't worry, we're on our way to the hospital to piss all over their bread so that they'll have to come buy more from you! It will all work out in the end, trust me. ;) "


    something like that. :smoking:
  4. I like this one better.

    One day, the dictator of a third-world country forces thousands of farmers across his country to obey his mandate to only produce a certain crop.

    A couple years later....

    50+ million people die from starvation.
  5. [ame=]YouTube - Mouseland[/ame]
  6. I see your Zionist propaganda and I raise you the Tao...


    If you want to be a great leader,
    you must learn to follow the Tao.
    Stop trying to control.
    Let go of fixed plans and concepts,
    and the world will govern itself.

    The more prohibitions you have,
    the less virtuous people will be.
    The more weapons you have,
    the less secure people will be.
    The more subsidies you have,
    the less self-reliant people will be.

    Therefore the Master says:
    I let go of the law,
    and people become honest.
    I let go of economics,
    and people become prosperous.
    I let go of religion,
    and people become serene.
    I let go of all desire for the common good,
    and the good becomes common as grass.

    Lao-Tzu "The Old Master" the original libertarian... you know, besides the Tao and God. ;)
  7. I like this guy.
  8. Who wouldn't?

    Tao Te Ching

    He wasn't joking around... 2500 years ago he could have predicted America's problems.

    Tao = The Way (things are)
  9. I like Atlas Shrugged. If I had children I would read it to them as a bedtime story.
  10. I'm not so sure Ayn Rand would approve of you referring to her magnum opus as a libertarian parable. She felt nothing but abject loathing for libertarians, which I think is kind of strange.
  11. For the libertarians of her day.

    Much of modern day libertarianism has become Rand style Objectivism, or at least, Rand serving as the foundation for many approachesto matters. As Libertarianism has become more and more a rejection of a particular structure of society, Rand's work serves as a monumental social critique, at almost all levels of how society functions from the raising and education of children to the functioning in our daily lives.

    And yeah, the Tao Te Ching is mind blowing stuff.
  12. I disagree, modern day libertarianism is moving far away from Rand. Rand was right about a lot, and wrong about a lot.
  13. The world runs on money, rather than on life. Its sad, isnt it?
  14. Out of curiosity, what do you disagree with her on?
  15. Love the Lao Tzu man.

  16. She hated fags and most modern day libertarians aren't so homophobic, but that is just one thing. Almost every story of hers has some pretty intense sexually driven characters or plot lines which can be kind of weird.
  17. There's a lot. I find a lot of contention with her on social issues. She thought that many cultures and many societies had 'savages' that couldn't be reformed. Rand was also a very, very, very cold person. She was also a huge supporter of IP, but as modern libertarians have come to find out IP laws are actually anti-market.

    I agree with her on the fundamentals, self-determination, the virtue of selfishness, etc.

    A lot of her positions are noble, albeit a little misguided.
  18. 61

    When a country obtains great power,
    it becomes like the sea:
    all streams run downward into it.
    The more powerful it grows,
    the greater the need for humility.
    Humility means trusting the Tao,
    thus never needing to be defensive.

    A great nation is like a great man:
    When he makes a mistake, he realizes it.
    Having realized it, he admits it.
    Having admitted it, he corrects it.
    He considers those who point out his faults
    as his most benevolent teachers.
    He thinks of his enemy
    as the shadow that he himself casts.

    If a nation is centered in the Tao,
    if it nourishes its own people
    and doesn't meddle in the affairs of others,
    it will be a light to all nations in the world.
  19. #20 SmokinP, May 27, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2010
    I see mankind as a herd of cattle inside a fenced enclosure. Outside the fence are green pastures and plenty for the cattle to eat, while inside the fence there is not quite enough grass for the cattle. Consequently, the cattle are tramping underfoot what little grass there is and goring each other to death in their struggle for existence.

    I saw the owner of the herd come to them, and when he saw their pitiful condition he was filled with compassion for them and thought of all he could do to improve their condition.

    So he called his friends together and asked them to assist him in cutting grass from outside the fence and throwing it over the fence to the cattle. And that they called Charity.

    Then, because the calves were dying off and not growing up into serviceable cattle, he arranged that they should each have a pint of milk every morning for breakfast.

    Because they were dying off in the cold nights, he put up beautiful well-drained and well-ventilated cowsheds for the cattle.

    Because they were goring each other in the struggle for existence, he put corks on the horns of the cattle, so that the wounds they gave cach other might not be so serious. Then he reserved a part of the enclosure for the old bulls and the old cows over 70 years of age.

    In fact, he did everything he could think of to improve the condition of the cattle, and when I asked him why he did not do the one obvious thing, break down the fence, and let the cattle out, he answered: "If I let the cattle out, I should no longer be able to milk them."

    Leo Tolstoy

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