Disclaimer: im no longer smoking, this isn't crazy rants. Im using the tools that help create, who I was into, who I will become. So their I was. 20 yard line of the usc vs ucla game. Kind of buzzed, not drunk. It only took until the first quarter before my nostalgia set in. I realized all the jokes of the media and football fans were directed towards me. That's when I curled up into a ball, wanted to smoke a bowl, and browse the internet. That's when it hit me. My suppressed issues are the issue at hand, not the rude jokes being cracked. When I got home is when I lit up and my worries crumbled away. That's when I found out on my own that weed suppressed my issues and worries. Now I sit here in my bed, the next day, replaying everything that happened in my head and I realize. Its all in my head. I plan on going on a tolerence break and fix the real issues at hand. I know in my heart I like women but I need to pray the happyness away. Im really confused because I was unaware at who I was becoming for a long time. Please help me help myself by leaving only constructive criticism, because Im alot stupider than I like to admit