Leaving my grandmas

Discussion in 'General' started by Oddyball, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. It's a hard choice I've had to make, but I have to leave here very soon. I know she will be alone for about 2 weeks before my aunt gets here, but I can't take it anymore. I told my mom that I've done the best I can taking care of her alone, but it's just breaking me down too much. I simply cannot be here anymore, I will break and that won't help her anyway. I'm sure she can make it for 2 weeks on her own, we have friends who can come by and stop in to check on her. I do feel guilty, but I know that I've got to look out for myself because no one else will.
  2. Dude... Why you gonna leave your grandma alone like that?

    Really man, shits tougher in the world than what youre going through. You gotta grow some balls son.

    Im sorry, and this may be a dick thing to say, but at some point in time youre going to have to do things that you really DONT want to do, or that you dont think youll make it through. But guess what, LIFE goes on, for you atleast.
  3. #3 Oddyball, Feb 10, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2009

    Yeah man, I've been to war, so please don't preach how bad life can be.

    She has uhm... about $900,000.00 dollars. She REFUSES to hire anyone to help her. She wouldn't let my grandfather touch a dime of their money so he went out and mowed lawns and had a heart attack doing it because he was too old, but he had no choice if he wanted money. She does NOT let me leave, she does not give me any money. She keeps up up from 6 am till 2 am every day (yet she naps). She throws her feces at me, spits on me,. and sometimes doesn't let me eat. I've been here ALONE (in the country with her) for a month and half. I'm having something close to a mental break down, and if she is selfish enough to USE me like she used my grandpa, and keep me prisoner, then that's when I say I've had enough. If it was different, and she let me out sometimes to see a movie, or go to get my mind off things, or paid me, or even told me she loved me - then it would be different.

    But I have bills at home stacking up and this lady would rather spend $2,000 on a brand new samsung washer/dryer set this weekend out of the thin air then give me a damn cent to go see a doctor when I got bit by a black widow causing my armpits to hurt and for me to feel sick. I've done the BEST I can humanly do at 23 years old all alone, but I have nothing left in me to keep going. Tell me to grow balls... pfft.
  4. #4 TheNightGoes90, Feb 10, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2009
    You didn't provide enough information at first for anyone to make a real judgment about the situation. Will your grandmother be capable of taking care of herself for the two weeks she'll be left alone before your aunt arrives?

    It's an outdated word that no one uses in this context anymore, but be pious toward your ancestors. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be here, at least not as yourself. I'd link some Plato that's on point, but I would feel like a complete d-bag. Not as bad as I'd feel by linking The Bible, but you get the point.

    No one can tell you what to do. You're going to do what you think is best. Just make sure you're valuing the right things when you decide.

  5. I came out here on my own to help her. Being held prisoner by someone who could easily afford to hire health care workers yet is too "prideful" and doesn't even understand she caused her husbands death by making him go work after he retired. I won't let that happen to me. I had enough when I got bit by a spider and she wouldn't let me even see a health clinic, and it's still purple and swollen and my body hurts and I feel sick a week later. She absolutely 100% uses me but I do love her. I know she will be able to keep herself up for 2 weeks till my aunt gets here. I just won't jepordize my health and well being for someone who doesn't even care enough to look at anyone but herself.
  6. Do what you gotta do man.

    But really.... What if something happens when you're not there...

    If you can leave he alone for 2 weeks and be fine with that, then more power to you... But I'd have the constant nagging what if questions in the back of my mind...

    Good luck on your decision, and honestly... You're a great man for lasting this long in the first place.
  7. Okay, what you KNOW but are still failing to realize is that she isnt in her right mind.

    I went through the same thing with my grandmother and a MUCH younger age.

    And if you been to war then you should be able to handle this, coming from an old lady.

    Get the fuckin job done dude.
  8. I want to get the job done but... its like my hypochondria is really getting to me making me trip out every day. I'm so confused everyone. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch, I just feel like I'm breaking down from being so tired and sick and alone with her. How do people do this for soooo long? I don't know how to... make it. Any advice?
  9. Slip her some bendryl throughout the day?
  10. People shouldn't be comparing Oddyball to themselves. He's his own person who probably knows what he can handle and what he can't. And apparently he can't handle his rude, miser-grandma, and I think a lot of people wouldn't even go down to help their own grandma who called for that much help without relying on anyone else.

    Props to you for staying with her for as long as you did. If your mom is fine with it, then I think that'd be fine too.

  11. took the words right out of my mouth.
    well, not exact words... but the general idea.

    i realize his grandma needs to be taken care of, but he also has to take care of himself...
  12. I would have no trouble making sure a sweet old lady is comfortable; but I'd hit the road too if a bitch threw feces and spit on me.

    Respect, dude for sure. And thank you for serving.

  13. Yeah but its not like hes stuck there FOREVER. In TWO week hes being releived of the responsibility. Dudes been there for a month and half or some shit, he can last for another two weeks!
  14. Of course he can last there...but the point is..WHY? Why should he when she hasn't exactly been thankful to him and he's on the verge of a breakdown.
    The point is, she can probably last.

  15. but you don't know that. just because you could or you think you could, it doesn't mean he can.
    two weeks is plentyy of time to go insane.

    but no really, if he's deciding to just up and leave now, he must be at his very end.
    i think he should try, but if he can't... he can't.
    not everyone handles the same things in the same way.
  16. Damn well if she did that to her OWN husband which is mad fucked up then i don't pity u at all for leaving or even thinking of leaving her. I would probably leave too. Perhaps you could leave for a couple days just to get some fresh air? A week even maybe? I would before you break down and accidentally break her heart or something.

  17. Ah, so thats the reason for the lymphoma scare

    Sorry about your situation. Bitter old people are difficult definitely.

  18. Yeah its a good idea but... I can't take her trucks/cars unless it's for grociers. I've already tried once and drove into the city to go to the movies, when I came home the cops were waiting for me. She called them on me saying I stole her car. I explained it to them.

    So far she has:

    Spit on me

    If she doesnt like what I cook she throws it on the floor

    Soils herself

    I bathe her

    She once told me "You wear too many different clothes" like my shirts and shit. A week later I found 7 of my good black shirts bleached to hell.

    She has only let me wash my clothes one time since I've been here (a month and a half)

    If she makes a grociery list, she will make a HUGE one, but only give me $20 bucks. I'll tell her "I need more money than that" and she says I'm lying just to steal her money. So when I come back from the store she either:

    A) Forgets I went and says "why did you leave?" - "For groceries grandma." - "With what money, mine? Give me my money you theif."

    B) I get back and she asks me for the reciept. If I spent $19.50 out of the 20, I have to give her the change.

    She uses money as a way to control me. By not giving me or her husband money, we can't afford to go anywhere, thus... she keeps us in the palm of her hand. However, my gramps decided to mow lawns, but had a heart attack at the age of 68 - which is why I came out here.

    She will think I poison her food. Last night she tried to make spagetti with hot sause, cocktail sause and penute butter.
  19. Because its his grandmother? Dont you think if shes THIS out of her mind already, she would probably not be able to take care of herself properly if shes left alone for I dont know, TWO WEEKS?!

    And I had a response for you too but I got distracted smokin the ganj and forgot.:wave::smoking:

  20. I think thats why. I mean for the last year I've had on and off armpit pain. One lymph node used to be hard, but it was small. Then I woke up 2 days ago and there was a bigger lymph node under my armpit. Both are kind of sore, but it might be... me getting sick, or stress... or smoking... I duno. But cancer... I would have been really sick by now (a year). Healthy appitite, good weight, no vomiting ever, no diahera ever, no fevers ever. Just sore armpits...thats why i get weirded out, like "Wtf, why are they sore?" But nothing else ever happens. Just pain and 1 swollen lymph.

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