we get along pretty good except for the fact that he doesn't do anything. He goes to work comes home and that's it. I am a stay at home house wife. I take care of the pool, and yard, "gardening", dishes, cleaning and fixing the place up. It's an old house and ALOT needs done. I have been working 14 hour days on it for several months now. I'm feeling alot of resentment towards him for not helping. Any suggestions on how I can get him to help? what do you think about this situation?
Lines of communication need to be open for any relationship to work. You have to tell him about these things before resentment towards him turns into anger or worse. If you keep holding it in, eventually it will burst out, in what will most likely be the worst opportune moment. Much like the soda can analogy. Talk to him, and see if perhaps you can work something out like adults. Difficult, but its always easier now then it will be tomorrow.
honey, is that you???? lol sounds like me and my g/f only i am a she lol i am not laughing at your situation, i am laughing cause it sounds like us she busts her ass and i admit i dont do much but i DO help her out more than what it sounds like your man does. like gimme said, the lines of communication must be open for it to work. she gave some great advice.
You need to make him aware of his lack of ambition and drive, which can happen to guys, who might be unhappy..It might not be you that he is unhappy about, it could be unrelated.. Of course, you might come off as the nagging girlfriend, which will make it worse..you need to find a way to grab his attention..then bring it up lightly..
just on the resentment of his not helping around the house...my fiance and i live together and we split up the chores. it works for us and keeps one or the other from feeling that the other isn't doing enough around the house.
your a stay at home wife,,,,, those duties you described are what you do while he's at work,,,,,! what do you want to do?sit on the couch all day and eat cheetos? he sounds like me,,,,,if a female stays in my house all day long,,,'' AND DOES NOTHING'' she wont be staying here very long,,,,, i rule my house with a iron-fist,,,,,,if you approached me and said '' honey'' om tired of doing all the house work,,,''WHILE YOUR AT YOUR JOB '' ID LOOK AT YOU WITH ONE EYEBROW RAISED,,,,,,, you'd get the point,,,,,, but then again im '' the angry white male''
So it's ok that you work 8 hrs and for her to work 14+ because you get paid and she doesn't? If you had to pay an electrician, plumper, contractor, painter, pool person, grounds keeper, gardener, and having to buy weed, a maid and laundry service ... You would pay out the ass. He gets all that plus fucked and sucked (every chance I get )and cared for. I don't get paid a dime.
I communicated my needs and now I'm entering the anger zone. He is still sitting in his chair doing nothing. He doesn't work on the weekends here or at work. I don't know what to do. I guess I better smoke a joint and get busy I need to install the entry door, mow, vaccume the pool... not familiar with the soda can anology? I'm sure I'm working up to it
k..soda can analogy we all have a bubble inside us *soda can* we use this bubble to store stress and anger and all them other bad emotions just like any other type of bubble...it eventually gets full it will keep taking in your bad stuff and getting more and more stretched out... until one day... ... ... ... BOOM!!!! and then your bubble explodes and so do your emotions..flying out all over the place all at once making a huge mess....so its best to let some of them out one way or another a little at a time...
HA! Lucky guy!... Sit him down... tell him that you are late for a meeting, got to your smoking spot, and spark up an L!! 9/10 Let him know its serious time... always with respect, tell the man you NEED help around the house, you're not asking for much, but things that he could do, in order for the both of spend more time tending to.... each others needs = ). Even though I agree that, if the wife is a stay in home wife/gf... Basic upkeep is expected but to do EVRYTHING... that’s abuse... My grandma us to tell me that a man... Is a person who comes home after working 8-10 hours, and muster up everything they have to spend time with the kids and make sure his home is in order. Leave him the harder chores that you do less of during the week like mow the lawn, and other stuff around the house like paint?? Never met a man that didn’t know how to use a paint brush, and I’m only 19... IDK.. use the pOon (sorry, didn’t know what else to call it LOL) as incentive... PS: U do electrical and plumbing!! DAMN GIRL!!... I need to get me one like you HA!! lol
He's might be overly tired when he gets home. Used to happen to me. You get home and just want to clock out. I would suspect sleep depro. Plus, as the years go by you get too used to the one your with. Taking it for granted. It's o,k, problem solved, get kinky and use sexy acts and attraction . Sounds like more work. But it will make the difference . Viva la difference
Nah. Your not being angry or misogynistic that shit is real. Get a job and then split up the chores if your not happy, otherwise I would re evaluate your situation and realize that most people have to work for a living outside the home and deal with shit that you don't have to. Just because you don't see ALL the work he does to keep a roof over your head so you can do dishes doesn't mean it isn't being done. I'd say the same thing if the roles were reversed so no one try to pull some spin shit. I love my wife and my mother and have the utmost respect for women. People gotta pull their weight and stop worrying about what the next person is doing.
What field of work is he in? I do manual labor from like 7-5 sometimes 7-9 and shit but still get home to do what needs to be done. No reason for a man to let his woman do all the work. I would never wanna see my wife mow the yard. Just doesn't seem like a womans job. Not sexist just saying
