*Lawrz('z) Daily Rant #2*

Discussion in 'General' started by Lawrz, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. .

    You know what, fuck geese.
    Birds are not supposed to have teeth,
    and they are defiantly not supposed to chase us down.
    They are supposed to be scared of us, not the latter.
    I mean, I'm a man, muscles and all,
    but if a well-set 4 ft goose chases me, I'm going to run.

    (^ fuck you goose.)

    Also, American Idol should be taken off the air,
    around 3 years ago.

  2. STORY TIME [animal activists stay out!]

    i was in about 7th grade [i'm in my 2nd year of college now], and me and my friend went to a pond near my house. There we saw a whole bunch of geese, along with a lot of baby geese. One in particular really sparked our interest; it was different then the rest. it was an albino baby goose.

    Now, being in 7th grade, neither me nor my friend were very smart. We decided to initiate a plan to steal the baby albino goose, and we would keep it at his grandparents who has a bunch of farm animals and such. The plan was, he would run up and snatch it [I was heavier back then], and then run off. And if the mother saw and started chasing him, I would hit it with my shoe that I took off. (lol)

    So the time has come, and my friend runs in and swoops in and snatches the albino. He starts running for dear life as I see the mama goose spread her wings and start flying after my friend. Now, in 7th grade, our voices didn't exactly drop. So when my friend was screaming, he was screeching and basically crying out in screams as the goose continually headbutts him in the back trying to get him to fall down.

    My friend screams "HIT IT WITH THE FUCKING SHOE, HIT IT WITH THE SHOE" as he is screeching in his pre-pubescent tone. At this point i'm laughing HYSTERICALLY, and honestly can't even stand up straight because of all the laughs that were escaping my mouth. I grab the shoe and do a throwing motion, but I was laughing too hard and forgot to LET GO of the shoe, so i basically threw it straight down at my feet. When that happened, I laughed even more hysterically and fell on the ground and kept laughing.

    My friend eventually let go of the goose and we failed hard.
  3. lmao. +rep for a rediculous story
  4. haha, that reminds me of this one time when my friends and I were playing firsbee golf that has a pond near by. one of my buddies threw his disc over by a group of bushes on a nasty slice. as he was walking towards his disc he reaches into his backpack, pulls out his sandwich and takes a few bites. when he reached his disc and started to pick it up 3 geese bum rush him from the bush with their wings flapping and necks doing the swingy thing that they do while honking at him. the dude threw his sandwich at them, grabbed his disc and just bolted outta there as fast he could. its mandatory to clown him on that hole everytime we play through now.

  5. hahahaha
    epic story mate

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